Are people becoming more paranoid about the idea men using women’s facilities?

A person gets changed from a women's swimming costume on the beach where I live. They strip themselves naked in public and get dressed from there. Daily or close to daily.

They have a penis.

Nobody is able to challenge them.

It makes me more angry than I can possibly express.

There’s a transwoman who occasionally uses or used to use the female changing room at the council run gym I go to. I haven’t seen him for a while, but I did tell staff I objected to having a male in the women’s changing room/shower area - they seemed a bit bemused , as though it hadn’t occurred to them. Of course, there were perfectly accessible changing cubicles in the unisex area he could have used, so it was deliberate.
Almost as annoying was the way he flung his stuff all over the bench all in a heap, not bothering to hang anything up, most unladylike.

Yes, it's enormously unfair to expect a swimming pool reception worker to somehow handle such a difficult issue.

Which is why we need EHRC and the government to really step the fuck up and do their job. So far, nothing.

This is a battle that women didn't ask for. No women anywhere in the world have demanded that random men share their spaces where they undress, shower, use the toilet etc.
This breaking down of the social contract has been initiated by men. And often men with a vested interest in eroding women's boundaries. There's been a naivety on the part of so many in power with #nodebate successfully allowing the associated information about the nature of many of the men involved to be hidden. The erosion of the ability of women and girls to identify and call out a pervert / predator is dangerous.
Well done to those girls for being confident enough to stand up for their rights.

Yes when I read it was a school gym OctogenarianDecathlete I could picture the set up. It all made more sense.

I've been following this social movement for many years now. My primary concern has been the teenagers caught up groomed and radicalised in it.

But last week, in our tiny supermarket in our small rural town, I found myself literally shoulder to shoulder with the local trans woman.

He's a massive man. There wasn't really space for me at the second basin. I was extremely uncomfortable, especially knowing he'd been in the cubicle next to me (and he came in banging around - see the thread about the loud men a few weeks ago).

I didn't know what kind of man he is. I don't know if he's going to want to 'punch me in the face' for not sharing his beliefs (as promoted by so many).

Maybe 10 years ago I'd have been more sympathetic. But 10 years ago there weren't hoards of "activists" openly braying for the physical assault of women who don't share a belief.

As for hanging clothes in a gym changing room. Some small gyms are like that. A changing area with benches and hooks. A handful of lockers maybe. A couple of shower & toilet cubicles. Most people just leave their stuff on a hook.

I'm not surprised teenaged girls complained when they mistakenly thought a bug strong manual labourer man was in their changing room. On a positive note, fantastic opportunity to show them a real example of a woman in a male dominated industry.

Here is one about a school pool being used for public sessions too.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4605219-transwoman-in-the-changing-room-at-school-pool

Also worth noting Prion that young women or girls are exposed to a lot of this in schools - sometimes mixed sex toilets and changing rooms and a lot of propaganda about how things should be 'inclusive'. They're at the sharp end. And also more vulnerable. And also dealing with teenage boys and young men.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12350741/amp/Parents-raised-concerns-transgender-pool-official-using-womens-changing-room-time-young-girls.html

This might help also.

The incidences are beginning to mount up OP. Thanks again for supporting the staff in their attempt to make sure the girls are safe.

I’ve not, as yet, come across a bloke anywhere I wouldn’t expect to find one, other than the odd man who accidentally walked into the wrong place.

Indeed I’m fairly sure that’s why so many people think it’s a non-issue.

However, for the women who are affected, the changing social contract is very significant. And those women include some who are both largely invisible and extremely vulnerable. For example, women in prison often have chaotic backgrounds and difficult lives, often marred by abusive men. They are now shut in with male criminals who, quite apart from being a physical threat, also bring the possibility of pregnancy.

Women who want to access rape crisis groups with women only, because they only feel safe with women there, or feel they can’t talk with men present, are discovering there are no groups in their area where it can be guaranteed that only women will be present.

And even if we look at changing rooms, we find out how many young women were disturbed and distressed by the presence of the swimmer, Thomas, who wandered round in an aroused state, while teenage girls were peeling themselves in and out of racing swimwear, that can take fifteen minutes to don. One man can traumatize or disadvantage hundreds, even thousands of women.

I haven’t been affected personally yet, but the demand of transactivism: that we must prioritize those men over all women, regardless of whether the women consent, is entirely unreasonable. We cannot allow it to become the norm.

This might help OP

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4870071-gym-swimming-changing-issue?reply=128349143

I am trying to find another thread at the time where it turns out that there were 4 or 5 Ballantyne gyms that males had been using the female space. That thread came about because Duncan Ballantyne wanted to know more so he could make appropriate changes to get his policy adhered to. Because many women joined and joined their children based on his statements in the past that males were not allowed access to female spaces.

Yes they are. Although I wouldn’t use the word paranoid. Vigilant is more the word.

I would be speaking to the girls about gender stereotyping and that women can work in all sorts of roles, including those that involve wearing ballistic trousers.

Don't blame the girls. Can't trust who is using our bathrooms and changing spaces these days.

Sure OP. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, people are becoming more worried about men in the women's changing rooms, since more and more men are using women's spaces.

I can see how it must have been confusing for you, OP. And I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable.

I am glad those girls for having stated their boundaries and stood up for themselves, though. Even if mistaken.

Sorry OP, I didn’t twig. But if it was a council gym in a high school then that probably explains the clothes being visible to the girls.

Apologies for my confusion.

Oh. Well I guess we probably shouldn’t ask then and send them postcards.

OP said it was a council gym.

I am however very pleased to find out those trousers are called ballistic trousers. 😊

Basically the social contract has been broken. That's a complex and tricky thing to assess or repair and the effects will also be complex and tricky.

We could probably expect to see things like underground networks of women forming and organising, and some pushback. Which we have seen.

What won't be visible is the women who quietly stop going swimming, the 'urinary leash' tightening, women avoiding hospitals and HCPs, a general worsening of women's mental health and participation in society.

The failure to consider or register these things is exacerbated by the fact that women are generally overlooked and disregarded anyway - see 'Invisible Women' for many many examples.

Worst if all has been the omerta on women talking. I can't quite begin to say what the overall effect on women is - to see their rights diminished and taken away but forbid them from speaking about it. To cast any woman who speaks up as an evil bigot is gaslighting abuse. Its damn cruel, is what it is.

Remember the thread from Belfastdad3 about Ballantynes the other month? I wonder what happened with that gym!!

OP the dad came here and told us his girls encountered a naked male exposing themselves in the female change area, and he has been doing so for a few weeks. They had taken to both getting changed in a toilet together to feel comfortable after their swimming lessons.

Also OP, I am sure you must be very pleased that the staff at your gym care about making sure girls feel safe in their changing rooms. I am sure you thanked them for checking, I know I would thank them for making sure the girls were safe and that they would be assured someone would look out for their safety. What a relief!!

Could you tell us what gym chain it was and maybe we could write to them and thank them. The best way to encourage girls to get fit and stay in sport is to make sure they are safe in the changing room.

(not the specific gym just the chain)