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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

You are safe with me

186 replies

Justme56 · 09/08/2023 18:49

I saw this on Twitter as David Tennent was wearing one. I’m sure his intention is good but it gave me weird vibes. Can he guarantee that everyone who is wearing one is ‘safe’ to be around? Am I overthinking this?

You are safe with me
OP posts:
Backstreets · 09/08/2023 21:26

DT is such a dork

Ourladycheesusedatum · 09/08/2023 21:18

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

Are you for real? Are you naive? Do you have any children in your life?

People (men mostly) will go to great lengths to get contact with children, like oh, train as a teacher, join the seminary, become social workers, oh the list is endless.

But buying a badge is what really difficult?

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 21:01

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 20:50

what if your child was a gender critical lesbian? do you think she'd feel safe with the 'go on, one little penis won't hurt' baby pink and baby blue rainbow?

Since AmaListening was confused by my posts I’m not sure she’s come across that concept.

ArabeIIaScott · 09/08/2023 20:57

borntobequiet · 09/08/2023 20:47

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

People with ill intent do far more difficult and complicated things to enable their ill intentions. They train (among other things) for the priesthood, as teachers, as police officers, to become someone who people feel they can trust. Buying a badge is an easy win in comparison. Why wouldn’t they buy one?

But the Scottish government keeps telling me 'There is no evidence that predatory and abusive men have ever had to pretend to be anything else to carry out abusive and predatory behaviour'

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4729635-a-reminder-of-the-people-who-said-there-was-no-evidence

A reminder of the people who said there was 'no evidence'. | Mumsnet

'...we must be clear: all of the evidence tells us that the cause of violence against women and girls is predatory and abusive men; not trans people....

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4729635-a-reminder-of-the-people-who-said-there-was-no-evidence

ArabeIIaScott · 09/08/2023 20:55

.

Joe Biden Goodbye GIF by The Democrats
BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 20:50

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

what if your child was a gender critical lesbian? do you think she'd feel safe with the 'go on, one little penis won't hurt' baby pink and baby blue rainbow?

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 09/08/2023 20:48

popebishop · 09/08/2023 20:26

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

Exactly. It says that the wearer claims to be an ally. Something you would normally determine from someone's actions.

So should people believe claims? If Farage wore one, what would you think?

oh my god I wish Nigel Farrage would wear this badge

some people's heads would LITERALLY (ok, maybe figuratively) EXPLODE

'twould be amazing

borntobequiet · 09/08/2023 20:47

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

People with ill intent do far more difficult and complicated things to enable their ill intentions. They train (among other things) for the priesthood, as teachers, as police officers, to become someone who people feel they can trust. Buying a badge is an easy win in comparison. Why wouldn’t they buy one?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2023 20:46

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

It's pretty unsafe for women too and I wouldn't trust a man wearing similar for women. In fact, I'd assume they were a twat or a predator unless I had very good intell to the contrary.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 20:40

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:04

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

The reason I find it problematic is that Nancy Kelley, while still running Stonewall, stated that lesbians were the equivalent of sexual racists because we’re not attracted to transwomen. The idea of lesbians not being attracted to males with a feminine gender identity is unacceptable. This is known as the ‘cotton ceiling’.

The so-called ‘LGBTQ community’ prioritises gender identity over biological sex. This attitude leads to homophobia because to quote the wonderful JK Rowling, ‘Without sex there is no same-sex attraction.’

And that’s just the start of it.

MrsGalloway · 09/08/2023 20:40

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:02

The badge isn't a substitute for a DBS check. That's not the point of it. We're not in the realm of safeguarding here; we're not talking about whether your child can go home with someone because they're wearing a badge.

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

This is hugely important because the world can feel a very unsafe place for those who aren't straight or cis.

Well it’s daft to encourage the idea that because someone wears a badge saying they’re safe means that they actually are so it’s not hugely important it’s extremely naive and potentially dangerous.

Any human being whatever their sexual preference or gender identity is safe with me but that doesn’t mean I have to do what they tell me to do to my own detriment if that what “safe” means in this context.

teawamutu · 09/08/2023 20:37

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

Almost certainly that's as deeply as he's thought.

But in a world where the uncaught-as-yet Isla Brysons or Wayne Couzens can get one just by asking, there's no farking way I'm going to tell my kids to trust them. It's just a bit of metal. It's not a guarantee.

Mochudubh · 09/08/2023 20:37

@AmaListening

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I have a bridge for sale. Call 8I0I067-101.

DojaPhat · 09/08/2023 20:29

Are people really reading more into this than a basic marketing gimmick?

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:27

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:14

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

because, obviously, literally anyone can get one so how can you possibly know if the wearer is a genuine ally or someone using it as an easy route to harm LGBTQ+ ppl

I think it'd be a very rare occurrence for someone with ill-intent to buy that badge.

I'd think it far more likely a badge bought by allies, to make that solidarity and support immediately visible.

David Tennant I think has a child who identifies as non-binary? So he's taking a stand for them by wearing that publicly, I'm guessing.

popebishop · 09/08/2023 20:26

It's simply saying that the badge-wearer identifies as an ally to those whose sexual orientation or gender identity isn't accepted or tolerated by all.

Exactly. It says that the wearer claims to be an ally. Something you would normally determine from someone's actions.

So should people believe claims? If Farage wore one, what would you think?

WallaceinAnderland · 09/08/2023 20:25

A warning to children about people who claim to be 'safe' written in 1829

Will You Walk Into My Parlor? ~ A Classic English Poem by Mary Howitt

“Will you walk into my parlor?” said the spider to the fly;
“‘Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you may spy.
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair, And I have many curious things to show when you are there.”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly; “to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne’er come down again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high.
Well you rest upon my little bed?” said the spider to the fly.
“There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest a while, I’ll snugly tuck you in!”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly, “for I’ve often heard it said,
They never, never wake again who sleep upon your bed!”

Said the cunning spider to the fly: “Dear friend, what can I do
To prove the warm affection I’ve always felt for you?
I have within my pantry good store of all that’s nice;
I’m sure you’re very welcome – will you please to take a slice?”
“Oh no, no,” said the little fly; “kind sir, that cannot be:
I’ve heard what’s in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!”

“Sweet creature!” said the spider, “you’re witty and you’re wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings; how brilliant are your eyes!
I have a little looking-glass upon my parlor shelf;
If you’d step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself.”
“I thank you, gentle sir,” she said, “for what you’re pleased to say,
And, bidding you good morning now, I’ll call another day.”

The spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready to dine upon the fly;
Then came out to his door again and merrily did sing:
“Come hither, hither, pretty fly, with pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple; there’s a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!”

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer grew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes and green and purple hue,
Thinking only of her crested head. Poor, foolish thing! at last
Up jumped the cunning spider, and fiercely held her fast;
He dragged her up his winding stair, into the dismal den –
Within his little parlor – but she ne’er came out again!

And now, dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words I pray you ne’er give heed;
Unto an evil counselor close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale of the spider and the fly.

Tinysoxx · 09/08/2023 20:23

The badge’s message is a no from me. It gives off ‘Here we are children, come and get your lollipops, lollipops, come along my little ones’ vibes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2023 20:14

It's the Posh Spice Rule.

If you have to say it, it's not true.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:14

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

because, obviously, literally anyone can get one so how can you possibly know if the wearer is a genuine ally or someone using it as an easy route to harm LGBTQ+ ppl

Wishitsnows · 09/08/2023 20:12

I remember as a kid in the US houses would have little signs in their window which was ‘safe place’ or something. I thought that was like an old van saying come inside and see little kittens! That badge is creepy

Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/08/2023 20:11

Is there any gatekeeping for this badge or can literally anyone get one? You know ppl with convictions for GBH that sort of thing

I mean if I wanted to harm someone and I wanted to make it easier to do it, I’d wear a badge saying that. Make it nice & easy wouldn’t it

God the utter stupidity of the beeeee kiiiiind brigade makes me want to repeatedly bang my head against the wall

Myalternate · 09/08/2023 20:08

A police uniform used to signify that the wearer was to be trusted but I think we all know that’s no longer true.

itsmylife7 · 09/08/2023 20:05

Crikey this badge is going to be badly used by the unsavory characters.

As a decent person I don't need to wear a badge. If I was aware someone was being harrassed due to their sexuality I'd help.

AmaListening · 09/08/2023 20:04

EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/08/2023 19:54

As a lesbian I wouldn’t feel at all safe around someone with one of those badges, because it suggests they think I’m a bigot for being exclusively attracted to my own sex. And I wouldn’t want them around young lesbians either.

I don't understand this comment, can you help me? The badge seems to have the rainbow flag colours and the trans flag colours and is surely marking the wearer as an ally to all LGBTQ+ people? I'm struggling to understand why a gay woman would find this problematic.

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