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Original poster

Struggling to support JK Rowling…

144 replies

NitroNine · 01/08/2023 01:10

…because what sort of actual monster wants coffee [& walnut] cake for their birthday cake?

She even boasted about this [book-themed] bakery beastliness on Twitter.

It was surprise!cake, but clearly not in a Cake Roulette sort of surprise!cake way. Am shaken to my very core & clearing my diary for mad angry crying & performative packing-up of Potterphenalia.

I’m just not sure how to cope with this disturbance to the magical world. I mean, coffee cake. <shakes head sadly>

However, while I consider my position, I’m willing to be gracious & offer JKR birthday wishes as well as Superior Cake. It’s not as if people just have varying tastes & opinions or anything, after all, right? Oh & happy birthday to Harry Potter, too, who obviously doesn’t need to attend the cake reeducation course, because of course he agrees with me.

(Little late - courtesy of internet issues - & indeed little/lot silly. Not inspired by any specific individual, but rather the reflection even now, as support for JKR is trending there are people throwing wobblies because she is a real person with thoughts & feelings & opinions she expresses. And she doesn’t respond to demands/threats/tantrums so people make ridiculous claims about what the characters she wrote [would] think…)

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1686024491086798848?s=46&t=MY1IHKVfeDY_1v4HEEVDfA

OP posts:
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6
Slothtoes · 01/08/2023 09:07

Carrot cake fans, get thee to the recipe thread where I have posted a brilliant one

Coffee and walnut makers, please kindly hit us with your best shot, I’d love to make one for a birthday coming up.

KohlaParasaurus · 01/08/2023 09:04

Fondant icing on coffee and walnut cake? Outrageous! Someone is feeling neglected and being deliberately controversial to get attention 😉

I'd eat it. Call it fusion food.

Florissante · 01/08/2023 08:55

CherieBabySpliffUp · 01/08/2023 08:05

My ideal birthday cake would be carrot cake but no one else likes it Sad
Should I go and sit on the naughty step?

I love carrot cake, especially if it has cream cheese frosting.

Slothtoes · 01/08/2023 08:44

Oh I love carrot cake too (cream cheese icing)
and was given a great recipe I will find and post, after my friend made a fabulous one recently.

I don’t really trust nigellas cake recipes after an uncookably runny brownie experience when I really needed it to work, but I’m a once in a blue moon baker, so willing to concede that might have been user error.

And oh crap, just realized we’re talking cake again after having posted about Nancy Kelley on the other thread. Recipes after a recent segue into cake chat could go maybe go on here for FWR posterity? This is after a public-spirited thread was begun for this express purpose by the very lovely ChersFrozenFace:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/food_and_recipes/4846855-cake-recipes-and-opinions

Cake - recipes and opinions | Mumsnet

First, at the request of {mention:Slothtoes} on another thread, a link to a recipe for the apple version of Welsh cakes. [[https://www.peoplescollect...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/food_and_recipes/4846855-cake-recipes-and-opinions

RealFeminist · 01/08/2023 08:37

FUCKING FONDONT

RocketPanda · 01/08/2023 08:23

@CherieBabySpliffUp my DM used to make carrot cake using weetabix. I wish she had written it down I'm desperately trying to remember it for you. It was absolutely delicious. She would soak the grated carrot in a bit of cold tea for an hour or so. It'll come to me.

Tinysoxx · 01/08/2023 08:21

The pattern on the cake - I got all excited and thought it’s the Scottish Parliament building seating plan - but on googling, it’s not.

risefromyourgrave · 01/08/2023 08:17

RocketPanda · 01/08/2023 06:48

A big no to coffee and walnut. I like coffee and I like walnuts but not in a cake. Similarly I don't like those biscoff biccies but christ do they make excellent cheesecake base.

See I’m the opposite, hate coffee and hate walnuts, put them together in a cake and alchemy occurs.
Coffee and walnut cake is my absolute favourite cake, Nigella’s recipe is obviously the best (I tend to find Nigella’s always are). But to put fondant icing on it instead of buttercream flavoured with coffee and sprinkled with chopped up walnuts is an absolute travesty.
We cannot blame JKR for the icing though, as it was a cake made for her. I’m sure she’d have done it properly. (Nods sagely)

BabyStopCryin · 01/08/2023 08:14

CherieBabySpliffUp · 01/08/2023 08:05

My ideal birthday cake would be carrot cake but no one else likes it Sad
Should I go and sit on the naughty step?

That’s my brothers favourite. Every time.

RoyalCorgi · 01/08/2023 08:09

Coffee and walnut is my favourite, but I agree the fondant icing is wrong, wrong, wrong.

ApocalipstickNow · 01/08/2023 08:09

RocketPanda · 01/08/2023 06:48

A big no to coffee and walnut. I like coffee and I like walnuts but not in a cake. Similarly I don't like those biscoff biccies but christ do they make excellent cheesecake base.

They ABSOLUTELY do.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 01/08/2023 08:05

My ideal birthday cake would be carrot cake but no one else likes it Sad
Should I go and sit on the naughty step?

pickledandpuzzled · 01/08/2023 08:05

Can anyone explain the running grave reference? I mean, it has to be really serious to justify cross identifying icing, Surely?

Dammitthisisshit · 01/08/2023 08:05

Coffee and walnut cake is the food of the gods.
Fondant icing is the work of the devil.

I can only assume JK fraternises with a fallen angel?

Whyjustwhy123 · 01/08/2023 08:04

I don’t understand where are the walnuts? You have them on top on the butter icing?

Florissante · 01/08/2023 08:00

Meringue.

lordloveadog · 01/08/2023 07:56

Boiledbeetle, I have a cake denier DS (a trauma that deserves its own thread). He gets 'ice cream cake' ie a big dish with scoops of different kinds of ice cream and sweets and those crispy sugar things you make in the oven with whisked egg whites but I've forgotten the word. You put candles at the top and serve it quickly and everyone takes some. It's quite fun but not cake.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/08/2023 07:46

Agree with everyone else, fondant has no place on a coffee and walnut cake. Does anyone have a good recipe for a C&W cake that isn't too sweet? I love it but the last one I had was a bit sickly. I want a very strong coffee taste just offset by the buttercream.

JellySaurus · 01/08/2023 07:46

Dear God, she has an opinion. A woman has an opinion! Klaxon!

(JKR can keep her coffee and walnut cake, it's the only possible non-utterly-disgusting use for coffee, as long as I can have the Marmite crackers.)

borntobequiet · 01/08/2023 07:45

I rather fancy making a cake, it will definitely be coffee and walnut. Very strong fresh espresso coffee in the mix really makes a difference.

Florissante · 01/08/2023 07:35

JKR just went up in my estimation. I am not sure about the fondant icing, though. However, she is such a wonderful person I shall forgive her this transgression.

AlisonDonut · 01/08/2023 07:32

I love coffee and walnut cake, with or without icing and with if pushed, coffee ice cream.

Boiledbeetle · 01/08/2023 07:29

bellinisurge · 01/08/2023 07:21

I despise cake in all its forms and I am sick...SICK.. I tell you .. of people imposing THEIR idea of what a birthday celebration should be.

So, as a cake despiser (that's a terrible affliction to have, my thoughts and prayers are with you) what do you suggest (I'm with you in the cake despising corner if its lemon drizzle). A chicken wing for each year of age? A hamster jumping out of a pretend cake with a radish in its teeth? Marmite covered crackers laid out to spell your name?

What is the preferred option for cake despisers? I presume you are here to represent the total cake deniers.

Slothtoes · 01/08/2023 07:27

I love C&W and JKR remains my spirit animal. So long as that disgusting fondant icing was peeled off and left to the side of the plate where it belongs. Acceptance with some exceptions chez Sloth.

Igneococcus · 01/08/2023 07:25

Pistachio, you say @BabyStopCryin Is there a recipe?
I bought a massive jar of pistachio butter from a middle Eastern shop in Edinburgh last week. I'm pondering what exciting baking I can do with it.