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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Entitled male refused access to female changing area (despite wearing skirt)

788 replies

ACatCalledPushka · 23/07/2023 22:00

Well done to the hotel staff. ‘trans ‘woman’ given key to the unisex changing room instead of the female changing room ‘trans woman’ not happy.

https://twitter.com/anneicoombes/status/1683090524641566721?s=46&t=5tHsrgY5T97exTqeFD4LWg

https://twitter.com/anneicoombes/status/1683090524641566721?s=46&t=5tHsrgY5T97exTqeFD4LWg

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SerafinasGoose · 25/07/2023 13:12

It will sound a barmy point to make.

But I really am coming rapidly to the belief, not only that no one has the 'right' not to be offended - and when offended assuming carte blanche to go after the perceived offender - but that this lack of right should be enshrined in law.

Hate speech needs an absolutely clear, unassailable set of definitions - already accounted for to some degree with public order offences such as threatening behaviour or causing harrassment, alarm and distress (which surely the TRAs yelling at 'Let Women Speak' in Portsmouth just lately were guilty of doing. Whilst masked, as cowards do).

It's a ridiculous, OTT position to have to be in. But the ridiculous, OTT set of uniquely historical circumstances we now find ourselves in have made it, IMO, necessary.

Labtastic · 25/07/2023 13:08

I try and let stories like this not get to me but this one has got right under my skin partly because he has unintentionally outed his real motivations. Doesn't want to change in a perfectly legitimate unisex changing room because there's no access to women there.

Fucking hell. When will women ever have something that is sacred to us? For the vast majority of these men this is a fetish that we're all being forced to participate in and it makes me so fucking angry.

SabrinaThwaite · 25/07/2023 13:02

This is the first time anyone IRL (in real life) has treated me as if I am not a woman...

That’s a lie.

Labtastic · 25/07/2023 12:59

Yes, and it's also about forcing women to play a part in his fantasy that's being played out in public, and he has to get into the women's changing room to find the women to make them do that.

SabrinaThwaite · 25/07/2023 12:56

Labtastic · 25/07/2023 12:30

Saw a good response to this which was a question asking what he wanted to do in the female changing room that he couldn't do in the unisex, and doesn't that just sum it up very nicely.

Just confirms that’s it all about the validation and not “I just want to get changed”.

Labtastic · 25/07/2023 12:30

Saw a good response to this which was a question asking what he wanted to do in the female changing room that he couldn't do in the unisex, and doesn't that just sum it up very nicely.

SerafinasGoose · 25/07/2023 12:14

There's a section about halfway down the page on women.

SerafinasGoose · 25/07/2023 12:14

stealtheatingtunnocks · 25/07/2023 10:24

Can you recall where you read that @SerafinasGoose

By no means a peer-reviewed source, but I was interested enough to make a cursory search as to how manifestations of these behaviours differed in men and women. The results didnt' surprise, particularly given female sex offenders are extremely rare by comparison with male ones.

Paraphilias | Psychology Today

Paraphilias

A paraphilia is a condition in which a person's sexual arousal and gratification depend on fantasizing about and engaging in sexual behavior that is atypical and extreme. A paraphilia is considered a disorder when it causes distress or threatens to har...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/paraphilias

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 25/07/2023 12:10

Isn't it interesting how, of all the common female names Anne could have chosen to use instead of giving away somebody'd real name, the name chosen to refer to a 'baddie' just happened to be one that's only ever associated with one single person: a serial killer.

If it had been a man whose views had not have aligned with Anne's, would he have been 'anonymously' referred to as Steve, Phil, John, Dave or Adolf, I wonder?

Ofcourseshecan · 25/07/2023 12:05

Ohthisisgetttingmad · 23/07/2023 23:28

I've drafted an email to the hotel - let me know if this sounds ok -
Hi, I’m sure you’ve already received a few emails about this and I have no desire to be antagonistic, but please support the staff member that referred a customer to the unisex changing rooms. I am in no way anti- trans, and can sympathize with the complainants issue to a certain degree. It must have been disappointing for them, but seeing as they have themselves admitted they do not “pass” as female I can understand your employees decision. The complainant is not a natal female and it was fair and appropriate that your staff directed them to a unisex space in this instance. We live in complicated times, and I truly believe that directing the complaint to the male changing space would have been disrespectful and unwise, but your staff member acted fairly and appropriately in my opinion by choosing the unisex space. A woman is not defined by her clothes or bearing, it is a simple matter of sex chromosomes. Given that there was a neutral space available ( eg unisex changing rooms) there was no discrimination here, the complainant was directed to the appropriate space.
Thoughts? I just want to support the employee.

Very polite and moderate, while making a clear point. Well done. I’ve been working on one but keep having to delete drafts as my anger bubbles up through them.

teawamutu · 25/07/2023 12:01

Anne clearly doesn't give a flying fuck for what the support humans want or need. It is literally unthinkable that Anne doesn't get what Anne wants.

Boiledbeetle · 25/07/2023 11:52

I'm unsure as to why Myra felt compelled to agree AC couldn't uses the gents changing room, I suppose it would depend on how that was presented to Myra as a non option.

I note that poor Myras NO has been completely overridden by AC who has basically decided that their wants and needs take precedent over the woman who is uncomfortable with a male in her single sex space.

😠😠😠

PriamFarrl · 25/07/2023 11:45

SqueakyDinosaur · 25/07/2023 11:38

Here is Anne Coombes' own blog from last year on the subject of changing for swimming. The entitlement and encroachment is absolutely jaw-dropping, IMO:

https://annecoombes.medium.com/why-changing-is-a-conundrum-following-my-change-e3914e5e14ea

"In fact, I don’t actually want to upset anyone, but I am determined that I am going to use the female changing rooms. I am not going to be shunted off to a separate facility such as a disabled changing room. As I see it, the problem with that solution is that once it is taken not only are you identified as being different but it will inevitably become permanent. Having been ostracised, no one will give any consideration as to when that arrangement will come to an end."

He goes on to say that it's up to the woman who objects to find a solution that he is happy with.

The women you change with will soon notice you are different due to your cock and balls, sunshine.

MavisMcMinty · 25/07/2023 11:44

Someone should email that article to the hotel in question, just in case they’re thinking of disciplining the staff member.

Annaishere · 25/07/2023 11:42

well he genuinely believes he’s a woman

SqueakyDinosaur · 25/07/2023 11:38

Here is Anne Coombes' own blog from last year on the subject of changing for swimming. The entitlement and encroachment is absolutely jaw-dropping, IMO:

https://annecoombes.medium.com/why-changing-is-a-conundrum-following-my-change-e3914e5e14ea

"In fact, I don’t actually want to upset anyone, but I am determined that I am going to use the female changing rooms. I am not going to be shunted off to a separate facility such as a disabled changing room. As I see it, the problem with that solution is that once it is taken not only are you identified as being different but it will inevitably become permanent. Having been ostracised, no one will give any consideration as to when that arrangement will come to an end."

He goes on to say that it's up to the woman who objects to find a solution that he is happy with.

Why Changing Is a Conundrum Following My Change

I am later than most when it comes to transitioning. I waited until my sixtieth birthday before I realised that if I was ever going to do…

https://annecoombes.medium.com/why-changing-is-a-conundrum-following-my-change-e3914e5e14ea

Glittertwins · 25/07/2023 11:09

It's made the Daily Mail

stealtheatingtunnocks · 25/07/2023 10:24

Can you recall where you read that @SerafinasGoose

SerafinasGoose · 25/07/2023 10:10

Teenagehorrorbag · 24/07/2023 20:47

Gosh @Helleofabore - how naive am I? I stand corrected, thanks.

I didn't see it either. Until I saw it. Up until that point I was very much on board with the 'live and let live', why should it bother me how people choose to dress and present themselves, do whatever makes you happy, type of response. I think that's the position a good many of the women on this board started from.

Then it gradually became apparent what does make your garden variety TRA happy. Even wholesale erasure of women is insufficient, they need to be subjugated and preferably humiliated into the bargain. Women's humiliation is part of the 'kick'.

Until the land-grab of women's spaces started in earnest, the paraphilic tendencies of the men appropriating trans rights for their own ends might not have been necessarily apparent unless you've been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end. One very good reason is that we vanishingly rarely see women publicly engaging in paraphilic tendencies (the only exception I can think of is the woman being walked around on a leash). I've been reading out of interest the manifestation of such behaviour in women vs. men. Perhaps predictably, I read that 'Some paraphilias, such as exhibitionistic disorder, frotteuristic disorder, pedophilic disorder, and fetishistic disorder, have little evidence of women engaging in them at a diagnostic level'. Again not unsurprisingly, the paraphilia which does manifest in more significant numbers in women is sexual masochism. The key differences here are that this is not (usually) behaviour that's masqueraded in public, and it doesn't involve the unwilling participation of unsuspecting bystanders.

That alone is a strong argument as to why we need single sex spaces.

Glittertwins · 25/07/2023 08:04

This is a man. I've seen him face to face also using the ladies changing room at the pool. Also the only official wearing a skirt - all the ladies are wearing trousers.

SinnerBoy · 25/07/2023 08:00

Teenagehorrorbag · Yesterday 20:47

Don't be hard on yourself, being naive isn't blameworthy. Everyone starts off naive, then has experiences, which lead to "Oh!" moments.

SinnerBoy · 25/07/2023 07:57

This reply has been deleted

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nzborn · 25/07/2023 05:34

Sounds like a great idea

sashh · 25/07/2023 05:18

nzborn · 24/07/2023 15:20

makes me want to spend a weekend in Shielfield at the Mercure.

Could we organise a meet up?

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