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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do pronouns feel alien to anyone else?

466 replies

janeseymour78 · 21/05/2022 18:42

By this, I mean I have friends who are 100% pro pronouns as a show of support and we've had our debates, and then there are others who say it is unhealthy to reinforce stereotypes, eg. By using them on work signatures

For me though, adding she/her pronouns to everything and even having being asked what they are verbally, she/her feels alien to me in a visceral way. I'm curious about this because I have several friends who don't share that feeling at all.

Im GC and I don't believe people are binary. I have elements of feminity and masculinity that whatever else that form who I am. I know I'm a woman, I have endometriosis so I'm painfully aware, as well as all the other reasons women are made aware of their sex.

It comes down to adding 'she/her' to everything would not feel right to me, as though it didn't reflect me. It would like I was falsely reinforcing my womanhood when I don't live my life that way or feel that way. Am I making sense? Do others feel this way?

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Helleofabore · 25/05/2022 08:54

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/05/2022 08:33

They'll be back in the style of Arnie

definitely. I believe they usually are .....

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/05/2022 08:33

They'll be back in the style of Arnie

Helleofabore · 25/05/2022 06:54

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 10:59

Although, maybe SeldomHere may be even more seldom here with all those deletions ....

I can only assume since we have had no sign of SeldomHere, that they will be now ‘NeverHereAgain’.

As I missed the final posts, did they follow a quickly escalated flame out pattern?

Perhaps it was a slow weekend somewhere.

Zerogravity · 24/05/2022 22:19

There really is no need to patronise me.
Of course I know what the both the word and the phrase mean.

So why are you saying it's confrontational? It's not.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 22:58

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:56

There really is no need to patronise me.
Of course I know what the both the word and the phrase mean.
People aren't calling themselves 'The critical thinking about gender group'. They are using the term Gender Critical. This appears confrontational. Surely you see that?

No, not at all. It is a neutral, descriptive term. The reason I asked is because of this, the meaning is not confrontational,.

Bolleauxxxx · 23/05/2022 22:06

Beowulfa · 23/05/2022 11:04

I would love to give SeldomHere a leg-up onto a stallion downwind of a field of mares, and let him explain to the horses that sex is a social construct/label made up by humans/fluid innate feeling/special identity and that it really shouldn't matter what's coded in their cells.

Ha. I used to ride a suspected rig. (At best gelded way, way too late). I don’t think that the lovely grey thoroughbred mare on the next farm over was a social construct to him.

More of a constant challenge in escapology.

IstayedForTheFeminism · 23/05/2022 22:04

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:10

Is there a reason why the people who wish to debate the newly thought up gender ideology needs to be called GC? Could we not be GQ - gender questioning? So we then put ourselves into an arena of debate ràther than confrontation? 'Critical' is very emotive...

Gender questioning makes it sound like we are questioning our own gender though. (I thought 'questioning' was one of the letters in the LGBT+ if you wrote it in full rather than using +)
Gender critical means we are critical of the whole concept/stereotypes.

A subtle difference.

A bit like the difference between atheist and agnostic.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 23/05/2022 22:01

People aren't calling themselves 'The critical thinking about gender group'. They are using the term Gender Critical. This appears confrontational. Surely you see that?

I don't think it's confrontational. It is, however, taking an actual position which 'critical thinking about gender' is not. I would hope that people on both sides of a debate can do 'critical thinking about gender' whether or not their starting position is that sometimes sex is relevant and not gender.

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:56

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 21:42

Are you maybe not clear on what critical means? What about the phrase critical thinking?

It doesn’t mean disparaging, or attacking.

There really is no need to patronise me.
Of course I know what the both the word and the phrase mean.
People aren't calling themselves 'The critical thinking about gender group'. They are using the term Gender Critical. This appears confrontational. Surely you see that?

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 21:42

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:22

But there appear to be thousands upon thousands of school aged children involved who probably are totally confused and would welcome discussion rather then people being 'critical'. We don't need to fight fire with fire, surely that will just alienate the young people who are the most vulnerable to this whole debacle?

Are you maybe not clear on what critical means? What about the phrase critical thinking?

It doesn’t mean disparaging, or attacking.

TheBiologyStupid · 23/05/2022 21:40

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:22

But there appear to be thousands upon thousands of school aged children involved who probably are totally confused and would welcome discussion rather then people being 'critical'. We don't need to fight fire with fire, surely that will just alienate the young people who are the most vulnerable to this whole debacle?

There was a thread about this recently: www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4548447-gc-is-a-slur

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:22

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 21:14

When the other side literally has men calling themselves women I don’t think calling on one side to restrict themselves to “non emotive” language is reasonable.

But there appear to be thousands upon thousands of school aged children involved who probably are totally confused and would welcome discussion rather then people being 'critical'. We don't need to fight fire with fire, surely that will just alienate the young people who are the most vulnerable to this whole debacle?

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 21:14

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:10

Is there a reason why the people who wish to debate the newly thought up gender ideology needs to be called GC? Could we not be GQ - gender questioning? So we then put ourselves into an arena of debate ràther than confrontation? 'Critical' is very emotive...

When the other side literally has men calling themselves women I don’t think calling on one side to restrict themselves to “non emotive” language is reasonable.

frostedfruit · 23/05/2022 21:10

Is there a reason why the people who wish to debate the newly thought up gender ideology needs to be called GC? Could we not be GQ - gender questioning? So we then put ourselves into an arena of debate ràther than confrontation? 'Critical' is very emotive...

fromorbit · 23/05/2022 16:00

Correct Pronouns are bound to come up in the Parliamentary recognition of nonbinary debate today at 4.30. So prepare yourselves as we see what MPs think about this. Please post gender critical takes on the meaning of nonbinary on twitter while the debate is on. Few people have started.

Hashtag is
#NonBinaryRecognitionDebate

You can watch live here. Going to be surreal as the Commons turns into Tumblr:
committees.parliament.uk/committee/326/petitions-committee/news/166136/legal-recognition-of-nonbinary-gender-identities-to-be-debated-by-mps/

3timeslucky · 23/05/2022 15:11

Between heavy make-up, airbrushing and filters I don't trust photographs of anybody to represent what they truly look like anymore. The clues we get about sex don't just come from the face though. Hips, hands, feet, movement/gait, voice ... all of these give us information also.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 15:06

SeldomHere · 23/05/2022 07:38

@FrancescaContini
If you're so confident, tell me, is any of these women trans?

Let’s see them walk, hear them talk. Giving a poor quality picture is so dishonest; which you know.

Men do not “pass” in the real world.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 15:02

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 20:34

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee
> If you don't separate men from women you don't have women's rights though do you?

This mindset is precisely the issue here. Why, exactly, do you need to separate trans women from women for women to have rights?

Oh, I know this one. It’s because trans women are men. Men with a psychological condition, gender dysphoria.

Have you read up on the condition in the DSM? It explains it.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 15:02

I suspect that 'biology can be altered' is the new mantra along the lines of TWAW and no debate.

Oh yes, we have seen it argued that about 3/5's of sex characteristics can be changed.... ergo should be enough to be considered a 'biological' sex change. And also the play on 'biological' rather than mechanical. So some people say of course they are 'biological' women as they are not robots??

The attempt of twisting of material reality goes on and on.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 14:56

SeldomHere · 22/05/2022 16:46

@IstayedForTheFeminism
> “doesn't make you the opposite sex”
Misinterpreting everything as usual.

> “It makes you a man who likes x or a woman who likes y.”
A trans woman being a woman has nothing to do with what she "likes".

> “He's breaking away from gender norms whilst still being a boy.”
Okay. And some other peoples gender non-conformity extends to pronouns and labels. What's your issue with that?

Are you at some point going to try to move beyond argument by assertion, and onto explaining why someone should view a transwoman as a woman?

What are you saying makes a transwoman a woman, and why are those wrong who say it’s clearly a man?

Waitwhat23 · 23/05/2022 14:14

I suspect that 'biology can be altered' is the new mantra along the lines of TWAW and no debate.

A nonsense statement which can be repeated ad infinitum against all evidence reason and sense.

Igneococcus · 23/05/2022 13:16

There was a "biology can be altered" poster on some of the Times comments sections recently. So tedious and so wrong.

SpringBadger · 23/05/2022 12:58

Voice is a big part of it too. Easy to overlook for the Extremely Online. I saw Laverne Cox in a TV programme recently, and it was the voice that almost immediately clued me in. I hadn't been paying much attention to the TV and then I realised there was a strangely deep voice coming out of this new female character, and then I took a closer look and realised she was also towering over the others and so on. It's especially striking on podcasts or radio, when "Mary Smith" is introduced and starts speaking in what sounds 100% like a man's voice.

Helleofabore · 23/05/2022 12:55

Anyone find it tedious that posters will post pictures of young people who may have the benefit of puberty blockers as a 'you can't always tell' gotcha.

To be clear Seldom how about you post up some images of transitioned males who are over 60+ for instance?

Or even over 50?

Why not?

Zerogravity · 23/05/2022 12:48

Funny how Seldom can't be courteous and keeps on getting deleted while accusing us of being the baddies. 😂

I can't ALWAYS tell from photos. In real life, it is easier but it doesn't really matter does it? Sex isn't about appearance. I expect trans people to follow rules just like everyone else- are you saying they can't? Pretty offensive to trans people.

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