Mary Harrington's Thread: how old at your first sexual approach by a man?

Eleven

10, while wearing my school uniform.

I was 11 when I got my arse groped in a bus queue. I was so shocked I turned round and punched him and he ran away. Revolting little creep.

Christ I just remembered another family "friend" used to do this thing where when I was about to sit down he would whip his hand underneath me, he would make a first with his middle finger pointing upwards so when I sat down his finger was nearly in me. He would laugh at how funny his "joke" was. A fucking middle aged man, with kids my age, trying to finger a seven year old in front of her mother. They really do hide in plain sight.

I was 13 and looked a good few years younger.

I also remember the insurance man who came to our house monthly to collect his premiums (back in the 1970s) always tried to tickle me. It sounds so innocent but it was excruciating and looking back very inappropriate, but my Mum thought I liked the attention and always called me to come and say hello.

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus

I can't even write what I want to express because I'm so angry about adults closing their eyes and refusing to believe what they see.

Yep, or they have seen it but blame you.

My dad refused to talk to me after I was groped by a man old enough to be my dad on holiday in Paris. Infact, I was called a slut or more than one occasion. I was 12 years old.

I remember when I got off the bus (I was going to a friends house - I don’t even remember where she was) we told her mum and she said ‘oh dear. Do you want fish for tea?’ So I didn’t tell my parents.

5 a group of boys pulled my skirt up in front of the class in primary school. The teacher was there and did nothing.

I was about 8. Fortunately I had no idea what was going on and was ushered away by my DM. It was only some years later that I put two and two together.

A man exposed himself to me and a friend on our way back from school when we were about 13.

I was 5 when a man tried to lure me into his car. A grown man also said something sexual to me when I was 11.

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus witnessed and nothing done. But my school was spectacularly incompetent around violence and bullying - there was a boy with special needs and the boys used to follow him home and beat him up; their solution was to let him out 10 minutes early so he could run home. Girls got sexually harassed in gym class all the time. It was this modern learning school without uniform etc. (which was fine) but the downside was they had the idea that children could govern ourselves and that if they didn’t encourage “silliness” children wouldn’t be self-conscious about our bodies and it led to a Lord of the Flies situation on the playground.

In this case the boys were in my sister’s class. I think they were obsessed with her in a disturbed way so began harassing me. I was too little to understand what was going on, and adults did nothing.

I was 11, going home from school in a crowded bus and felt a hand between my bare legs. Fortunately I had a safety pin handy (I grew up in a South Asian country where you learnt to carry something small and sharp for just such an occasion). I couldn't see who it was but a creepy old man got off at the next stop.

My sister was just 6 and sitting on our garden wall when another pervert exposed himself to her.

I was approached at 11 by a man (40s) on holiday by the pool. He tried to give me a key to his room and said I should visit whenever. All whilst feeling my arse. It was in front of loads of families. No one came to my help, my parents were swimming/asleep. I was totally frozen and felt compelled to be polite to him.

1. A bunch of older boys surrounded me on the playground and asked if I loved blowjobs.

Pinging bra straps on ten and eleven year olds was a favourite pastime of boys in those year groups as I remember. I'd forgotten. Plus the loud noting of who had a bra on yet and who didn't. It was so totally normalised, no one staff included thought it was anything more than messing about. It's quite amazing reflecting on it that women grow up as resilient as they do.

Bucking the trend here, my first recollection of being approached sexually by a man was when I was 17 and at university and it took me completely by surprise then. I could attribute this to having been a graceless lump of a girl who had bad hair, spectacles and frumpy clothes and gave out hostile vibes, but I suspect I was just very lucky with my male friends and family members.

Age 11 sexually assaulted.

I'm surprised at how this has triggered some bad memories of being shown and asked to touch our trusted elderly neighbour. I was 6 or 7. Late 1960's.
Flashed at several times as a teenager.
I've been told by a male relative that I've been too protective of my girls!
So sad to see similar and worse experiences.

About 8, being tricked into showing my knickers by a boy 8n my class

About 10 getting my very small boob groped by someone I was helping to find their way to something

About 12 being wanked at by someone parked up as I walked towards their car

Etc etc

Arseholes

4 years old, first time molested by family member.
6 years old, my godfather was a singer in a band and as a treat I was allowed to see him perform in a local pub, on the way out a guy at the bar said "I can smell your pussy from here"
13 years old, in a waiting room for my therapist the male receptionist made a pass. I was not a very developed teen (now at 41 I'm 5'3" and small chested)
14 to now, too many comments, grabs and men following me to count.
Yet everytime these events come up in conversation with men they all act shocked. Bullshit there was other men in the room when these things happened, yet they all imagine that nobody they know would ever.

God this angers me so much.

My heart breaks for you all.

Local old man (70s?) used to drive around with sweets and try and get my and my friends in his car. I must have been about 9 or 10?

Turns out I found out later he used to target my younger brother also.

The next time I remember was the first year in high school being regularly cat called and beeped by men in vans in school uniform. It would have been uncommon to go a day without a comment or a beep.

Then when I was 12 I remember being poached by an older guy (old enough to have his own place) getting me drunk and texting me on my first phone telling me what he'd do to me and making plans (looking back I was groomed, I thought I was special at the time.) I vividly remember him messaging asking me when my 13th birthday was and that he 'couldn't wait because I'd be a legal teenager'. He got me alone one night in his bedroom and tried to 'go down' on me but I was too scared and made excuses to leave.

It all went downhill from there. Regular experiences with older men, attempted rape and sexual assault.