Help explain non binary

The fact remains - gender identity and gender norms are 2 different things. That's why some trans girls are tomboys, and it remains a fact whether or not you like the word "tomboy".

Really?

Hey OP, I posted about my experience of this on the autism and GC thread that popped up again recently. I was your sister in some ways! Although I was not calling myself non binary or had even heard the term until I was 17. For me, being non-binary was based off my belief that I was agender because I believed gender was a social construct, just groups of stereotypes basically. I'd always considered myself gender nonconforming anyway I suppose and always felt like an outsider as a bisexual, autistic, gender critical female being bullied in an girls high school. I think a lot of girls who use terms like non binary are probably coming at this from the same place as I was, a rejection of sexist gender ideology, they just don't have the tools or the language to express this coherently and struggle to apply gender critical views to real life situations for fear of causing offence or hurt to transpeople, plus the fact that non-binary 'identity' particularly the idea of being agender having been co-opted into a wider 'trans*' community can be confusing for young people. I was welcomed into LGBTQ groups and genuinely felt I had some sort of closeness or connection to young transmen and transwomen through my identity as non-binary. Which now I'm older and more educated I see how that was ludicrous given I never subscribed to the gender ideology that their whole transition experience was based on! Sorry for the ramble but hope that might be of some use in considering where your sister might be coming from.

It's utterly ridiculous.

Girls in the 70's (80's/90's) were called "tomboys" because sexist people couldn't accept girls to be happy in "boys" attire doing thing reserved for "boys" even though the girls themselves were perfectly happy and knew full well they were female and happy with that.

.... Has now become-
Sexist people say that if a girl is dressing/playing like a "boy" she should breastbind/chop off her tits and change her name to a boys name, stick her on testosterone with permanent changes including infertility and higher risk of cancer.

How progressive.

How I long for the 70's.

"Tomboy" is a sexist description of a girl that doesn't behave in ways that are considered feminine. No girl is a tomboy, they are girls with their own personality.

"Buying into gender ideology makes people suicidal according to research"

Citation please

Shizuku are you saying you are unfamiliar with the latest research that you yourself posted yesterday at 21:52, that seems to show those who believe they have a gender are at higher risk of self harm/suicide ideation etc.

Why is an ideology based on lies, myths and manipulation still being promoted when it obviously causes such harm and distress to those taken in by it?

The most vulnerable people such as autistic girls and those who have a CSA history are being sold a lie (namely that becoming trans is a cure-all to your underlying problems).

It's no wonder that they then become suicidal as result.

Shizuku - debatable but what does that have to do with this? You still can't change sex and telling a young girl she can would be putting her at risk.

Someone on Twitter claimed that they were non-binary and that meant they were not a woman (even though they said they were having a female). Apparently they were just cased in a "woman's flesh suit."

I would just concentrate on retaining your sister's trust, and hopefully be in a position to discourage them from making any medical changes. Give them a chance to grow out of the whole thing.

I would just tell her you're non binary too. After all, unless you wear make up, pearls and heels literally 24/7 you probably are according to TRAs' definitions.

Non binary is very simple - it essentially just means that their gender identity falls somewhere between male and female
So that's everybody then. I think it's important that she understands that she does not need to conform to gender norms (which many of us find oppressive but can be particularly scary going into adolescence) but for many reasons, not least safety, she needs to know that there is no non-binary option when it comes to sex. And keep her away from Tik-tok!

The ones who thought it was a good idea for kids to put transphobic stickers on their school books?

I'd give them a miss if I were you.

Citation please.

Buying into gender ideology makes people suicidal according to research, so I think it is imperative that you do make the effort to approach her for sake of her mental health.

As you said she is also autistic so she is obviously already going through a lot at such a young age and will already feel like an outsider.
She is probably buying into the idea of gender identities to try and make sense of her differences in life.

Do whatever you can to reassure her she is perfect the way she is, and buying into this ideology will make life much harder, less safe, and more complicated for her. Not easier.

Strongly recommend that aeon article. ^^

It's the consequence of the insistence that female sex is somehow "matched" with feminine gender expression, and male sex "matches" masculinity. There is very little provision made under this framework for a woman to be less than 100% feminine without this changing their gender.
So as nearly everyone on the planet would encompass some mix of femininity and masculinity, we are all somewhat "non binary". This shouldn't preclude knowing what sex we are.

Good luck OP. I found this article really useful when I was first getting to grips woth all this stuff

aeon.co/essays/the-idea-that-gender-is-a-spectrum-is-a-new-gender-prison

Your sister is a girl on the verge of becoming a young woman. No matter what label she would like to apply, she will be a woman for the rest of her life.

My sister says she isn’t old enough to decide what her gender is so she’s non-binary. The curse of using the word "gender" when the appropriate and factual word "sex" should be used strikes again - not by you Educationneeded but from other sources.

Your sister doesn't need to choose or have a gender. Her sex is female and she will soon be a woman, and that may be a frightening proposition for a number of reasons (one of which is how women are treated because of our sexed bodies) as well as the misinformation spewed by TikTok and other social media.

Gender is nothing but a set of stereotypes that your sister need not buy into or adopt no matter any external pressures. If she has concerns about becoming a woman that's understandable given the mixed messages sent, and discussing those concerns may be helpful for her.

She's 11 and still only at Primary school?!!! I think sorting out social media exposure is a priority to be honest.

I would definitely look at transgender trend for advice.

She really struggles to make and maintain friendships and struggles with bullying at school too which I think is why she has fallen into this.

That's such a shame. I wonder if you could offer help to address these issues? The following site's for parents but the advice is helpful and may be of use for you:

www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/safety/helping-bullied-child

I just wouldn't worry too much about the gender thing at the moment. Bit odd where it's coming from - my eldest is 11 and wouldn't have a clue. He's not allowed any social media at all. But I expect she'll grow out of it, given support and someone to talk to. So my suggestion would be to be the person she can talk to - practise active listening (can be a useful and difficult skill to master). Spend time with her, encourage her to talk without judgement.

Conversations will need to be age-appropriate taking into account the specific needs of the child.
Its important not to over complicate or overwhelm them with too much.
Transgender Trend have useful resources:
www.transgendertrend.com/resources-for-parents/

She has recently adapted the terminology ‘cervix havers’ and ‘chest feeding’ and I don’t even know where to begin with that?

current relevant thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4220265-I-just-came-out-as-GC-at-work-to-the-big-boss-and-I-feel-a-bit-sick

Tiktok is for 13+ isn't it?
Get her off tiktok and into the real world. Meeting with others into the same stuff as her, Pokémon would be better.
You need to give your mum and dad a briefing. And chat to your sister. Sounds like she needs a big sister guiding her, not randoms she's watching on social media.