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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A realistic account of transitioning

36 replies

Sowhatifisaycunt · 01/01/2019 11:27

www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/im-still-man-says-transsexual-2375238?fbclid=IwAR3ehLFI-DLip7pNx8EDR9IbMTX9BAWf1ESMvFnsFV5kzoMJip3YrVOnSCI

OP posts:
R0wantrees · 01/01/2019 17:39

There is no one standing up for these people except for feminists. They are either doubted or ignored by the medical community and transgender community.

James Caspian's appeal against being prevented from researching this is ongoing:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3129659-Update-from-James-Caspian-on-his-case-against-Bath-Spa-University-to-be-allowed-to-research-detransitioners?pg=4

FWRLurker · 01/01/2019 17:31

Detransitioners, desisters, and regretters are constantly informed they don’t matter, that they are pawns of the far right, that they should take responsibility for their choices (though trans people have no such obligation), that they are wrong and are actually trans so should try HRT / surgery again, or that they are crazy or stupid, and anyway, they are vanishingly rare so who cares.

There is no one standing up for these people except for feminists. They are either doubted or ignored by the medical community and transgender community.

I think they are being under counted as well. No one knows my husband desisted - he simply stopped going in for treatment. His provider likely assumes he went elsewhere for his hormones. His primary care doc knows, but he’s not in a position to really influence anything. I suppose he might be more skeptical than your average primary care doc if he has a trans patient in the future.

Maybe nothing will change until enough people detrans / desist and docs see the problem for themselves... which means hundreds of unneeded surgeries and sterilizations are the cost we’ll pay...

Sowhatifisaycunt · 01/01/2019 17:17

Debbie’s story is just heartbreaking.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 01/01/2019 13:48

Where is the big nationally supported charity for people like Debbie? And all the others who have been operated on and regret their transition?

If Mermaids get support so should a charity supporting detranitioners.

papayasareyum · 01/01/2019 12:45

it's affirmation culture, isn't it? Nobody is allowed to question anything. It's a pat on the head and off for hormones and surgery. It's affirmation or nothing. Many many people will fall through the cracks. Nobody found out about her complex PTSD because they didn't want to know, they were there to affirm only.

R0wantrees · 01/01/2019 12:35

Following from the title of the OP, there was a very moving series of articles interviewing a woman who wanted to share the catastrophic consequences of medical interventions to 'transition' without the cause of her deep-seated trauma being identified.

Many people who have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria might have been better helped by the medical profession if other very relevent factors were identified and nuanced support was available for these.

Abuse, childhood trauma, homophobia etc seem often also present in people's stories. If this is the case, contextualising it as transgenderism/transsexualism lessens the possibility of healing from what may be the source/s of the dysphoria.

I was so struck by Debbie's story. She was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, underwent full medical transition without her PTSD as a result of being sexually abused as a child being identified.

Mirror November 2018 (also in Mail)
(extract)
"After undergoing years of counselling, he says he has finally discovered he wasn't transgender. Instead, he says, he was a woman suffering with horrific complex PTSD after years of sexual abuse.

"Looking back now I realise that it was simply a feeling that if I didn't have a vagina, I couldn't be raped," he revealed.

"I feel completely 'mutilated'," he added.

He has spoken out on the 'taboo' subject of gender reassignment reversal to encourage others to seek talking therapy before surgery.

He says he should never have been allowed to transition, claiming sexual abuse sparked his dissatisfaction with his female body.

He alleges his father raped and abused him when he was a teenager, but died five years ago, before he could be charged.

Now, he looks in the mirror "through the eyes of that terrified 15-year-old girl and see this funny little man staring back at me".

He said: "I wish I could turn back the clock and just have the foresight of what the nightmare the next 15 years would be.

"I'm a woman I'm not meant to be a bloke. I'm trapped. It's a complete mess - where do you even start? I just regret the decision.

"There is this myth that when an individual 'changes gender' they go into hospital one gender and come out 'all done'. That isn't the case, there are years of surgeries and hormones for the rest of your life.

"The session where I realised this was so bad that I had a complete break down and panic attack because I realised it was a huge mistake.

"It should never have happened. It was a big wake up call.

"I was traumatised by what had happened in my life and it was misdiagnosed as being transgender.

"I was vulnerable, I just though that if I wasn't a girl my life would be different, I would be different, I would be accepted and that would be it.

"I thought that becoming a man would make me worthy and I would become a different person."

He added: "I'm not a man, I am an approximation of a man.

"I wish I could wake up as Debbie and realise that the last 15 years were just as bad a nightmare."

Lee primarily blames his father for what has happened to him.

But he says he believes the private psychiatrist who started off his transition should have "picked up on the fact I was abused".

"I should have had help somewhere along the line," he said.

"Nobody ever raised the idea that I could feel like this due to trauma. Not once - until it was all done.

"I have spent my life despising my own body.

"It's so inhumane to feel that was about your own body. But the fact is I now know I rejected my body because of the way my father treated me." (continues)
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/im-still-debbie-man-reveals-13532989
thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3414138-Im-not-meant-to-be-a-bloke-Woman-who-changed-gender-to-become-man-called-Lee-says-sex-swap-was-a-huge-mistake

Like Leanne, Debbie describes being motivated to share her story to try to help others. I hope people with influence in both medical and transgender communities listen to them & reflect.

Vegilante · 01/01/2019 12:21

Link posted doesn't work:

www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/im-still-man-says-transsexual-2375238

papayasareyum · 01/01/2019 11:59

that's really sad. I wonder what kind of life she would have had if she'd not had reassignment surgery and had come to terms with who she was. What her Dad said is considered horribly un pc, but he was absolutely right. Thats pretty much the best they can do. From what I understand, from reading in depth on this subject, most people who have SRS experience post op complications and that doesn't even touch on the emotional/psychological toll. This surgery should be an absolute last resort after many many years of counselling and over the age of 21-25 only.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 01/01/2019 11:53

Clicky link?

Italiangreyhound · 01/01/2019 11:52

That is such a sad story.

I hope she does find happiness and love.

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