A realistic account of transitioning

New book "Trans Life Survivors" about 30 people who have detransitioned:

thefederalist.com/2019/01/03/30-transgender-regretters-come-closet-new-book/

The joys of autocorrect Italiangreyhound

yotskly so

welshgendercrit I completely agree with you. I was not meaning to detract from what you said. Perhaps just wanting to say to Leanne that her situation (although different) is similar to a number of people I know/have known.

But you are yotskly right. People are sold a dream not a reality.

Need more sleep Thanks for posting the YouTube link to Rene Jax's talk. As you say powerful and extremely thought-provoking.

Italiangreyhound I agree completely that there are many reasons why people find it hard to find partners or relationships that last, but I felt the Leanne's story was important for pointing out that transition isn't the miracle-worker that it is too often sold as, something that comers across strongly too in the talk by Rene Jax.

I so much hope the whole debate can regain balance. Society was so biased against trans people once but admitting when things go wrong don't send us back to some sort of 'dark ages'. Eith the internet now no community can hide the issues. It will all come out.

welshgendercrit

"Leanne actually passes very well, if the photos are anything to go by, yet has not found happiness or contentment."

Would agree Leanne does pass well. But I also think there Is s lot more at stake than passing. I know a lot of women who were desperate to marry and have children but did not. In my friends cases they are either Christians (and wanted to find a Christian man. They have remained single) or doentvyears eith the wrong person etc.

Others might be single because they just never met the right person, or they did and he, or she, died or ran off with someone else. Mumnset is full of women trapped in unsuitable partnerships with people.

I think there is s kind if fairytale ending we are sold and it's just not true for a lot of people.

Each time I succeed in my efforts, I become more and more inspired to push further and further. It's incredibly emotional but at the same time I feel I'm stronger as a result. I'm determined to make a difference to the madness, however small.

Good for you, Leanne
Whittle seems to have very narrow-minded views on gender performance and has said some very sexist things, so I'm not surprised if he has similarly narrow views about what trans people are supposed to say and do. He had a tough upbringing by all accounts but comes across as a bit of a champagne activist.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3436955-Stephen-Whittle?pg=1&order=

The testimony from Rene Jax, author of "Don't Get on the Plane: Why A Sex Change Will Ruin Your Life"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN0sT6bHjR8

is also powerful.

I remember reading a very sad account about an Australian who went on to regret a MtF transition and who suggests his/her dysphora was as a result of childhood trauma, and also an American FtM who whose later detransition was also attacked.

Plus obituaries of Julia Grant www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3468329-julia-grant-has-died seem to suggest major health problems, and an opposition to "transing" children.

It appears that:

• people are discouraged from speaking up about the downsides of transition.
• health problems happen
• people regret

Anecdote is not research. We need research. Today's teenagers need to understand that transition is not all unicorns, mermaids and YouTube videos, but a massive decision with lifelong consequences.

In the meantime, many thanks to Leanne and others who have spoken up. I hope we can help ensure their voices are heard.

I guess Leanne is now whatever the equivalent of a "suppressive person" is in Scientology, and that would be Whittle's excuse for ignoring a person who was reaching out for help.

Exactly this.

Despite our differences, we have each others' backs

Do they? Ask Leanne. Ask any regretters, desisters or detransitioners. Ask any who do not toe the TRA line - ask Miranda 'Truscum' Yardley.

Thanks for sharing Leanne.

It makes me wonder whether there truly is such a thing as a trans community.

Jess Bradley's contribution to the book, 'To My Trans Sisters'
edited by Charlie Craggs (publ Oct 2017)

"The first time I changed the world was when I told my mates to call me she rather than he. I literally constructed a new world where its possible to understand myself as a genderqueer woman, despite being asigned male at birth simply by changing the language to describe myself. This is why language and pronouns are so important. Its about creating a world in which trans people are allowed to exist"

"And I can honestly say that the work that trans people do for each other means that, for me at least, the trans community is a beautiful place to be. Despite our differences, we have each others' backs"

the book is described:
"Dedicated to trans women everywhere, this inspirational collection of letters written by successful trans women shares the lessons they learnt on their journeys to womanhood, celebrating their achievements and empowering the next generation to become who they truly are.

Written by politicians, scientists, models, athletes, authors, actors, and activists from around the world, these letters capture the diversity of the trans experience and offer advice from make-up and dating through to fighting dysphoria and transphobia.

By turns honest and heartfelt, funny and furious or beautiful and brave, these letters send a clear message of hope to their sisters: each of these women have gone through the struggles of transition and emerged the other side as accomplished, confident women; and if we made it sister, so can you!"

source:
books.google.co.uk/books?id=gNspDwAAQBAJ

Isn't it ironic that gender critical women treat trans people with more compassion than than other trans people do?

It makes me wonder whether there truly is such a thing as a trans community.

Walking on eggshells. The people within the cult are made to do it just as much as the rest of us, and are not treated kindly if they break the rules.

I guess Leanne is now whatever the equivalent of a "suppressive person" is in Scientology, and that would be Whittle's excuse for ignoring a person who was reaching out for help.

I read a women saying she'd been called a t*rf because she'd detransitioned. She was very upset.

Seems cruel

It's awful what you've been through. And then Whittle added insult to your many injuries. What he said to you is cruel, wrong & unconscionable.

My understanding from what LeanneMills1961 posted was that Stephen Whittle did not ever reply to her.

the comment/warning, "Watch what you say, now, Leanne, there are many out there who would seize on any negative content and put back all the rights we have fought so hard to get, and you will be responsible..." comes from someone else. Not sure if this is a direct quote or summary.

The abandonment of transgender people by the trans community as described by Leanne is appalling. Especially those, like her, who shared such personal stories to raise awareness. Where was the duty of care?
I've seen on social media how those trans people who step outside and challenge the orthadoxy of trans ideology are treated. Its viscous.

There's another reason not to like Steven Whittle. TRAs seem to treat everyone like Whittle treated Leanne, as if they were just tools that exist to help the TRA achieve their goals. I'm not sure most of them are even capable of recognizing their fellow humans as actual people with feelings and needs of our own.

Leanne I’m so glad my post resonated with you.

Thank you so much for making your voice heard. It can’t have been easy. I’m sure your example will help others like you come out and you will find more people like you.

Best wishes to you and keep living and fighting.

LeanneMills1961 thank you for telling your story & coming here to share more.

It's awful what you've been through. And then Whittle added insult to your many injuries. What he said to you is cruel, wrong & unconscionable.

Glad to hear you've found support. Women on the FWR threads have sharp minds & sometimes even sharper tongues. This makes some perceive us as cold-hearted. But I think most would agree that we have only warm wishes for you & everyone else already & potentially damaged by trans ideology.

Happy new year & best wishes to you.

LeanneMills1961 thank you for your message.

It must have felt so hard not getting the support you wanted and needed.

I am very pleased you have found support.

A young member of my family is identifying as trans and it is so very hard to be supportive of them but also wanting to encourage them to slow down, that they are so young to want to identify in this way.

I want to ask a personal question but I am not sure how much it is fair to ask a personal question. So can I ask a general one? In terms of the trans 'communities' can people find love and acceptance with other trans people? It's heartbreaking to hear you have not found the love you are looking for. I just wondered why it is so hard to find acceptance even in the trans 'communities' that exist now. I say trans 'communities' because it is often said there is not one trans community.

All best wishes.

Thankyou for this thread following my feature in the Nottingham Post
and your warm words, you can't know how reassuring I find them.

Each time I succeed in my efforts, I become more and more inspired
to push further and further. It's incredibly emotional but at the
same time I feel I'm stronger as a result. I'm determined to make a difference to the madness, however small.

FWRLurker's comment is absolutely spot-on. In 2016 I attempted to 'come out' then and tell my sob-story; but being isolated I knew no-one who might help. So I wrote to Stephen Whittle (among others) hoping for moral support and guidance. Since he had also participated in the same ground-breaking TV documentary I had been in way back in 1980, I felt sure he would be understanding and pleased to help.

Alas he never replied, despite my emails becoming more and more anxious. For all that, neither did the others, save for a warning- "Watch what you say, now, Leanne, there are many out there who would seize on any negative content and put back all the rights we have fought so hard to get, and you will be responsible..."

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? If that's the way the trans community treats its own and who are in deep crisis, then how could THEY rightfully expect acceptance from society? I won't belabour you with the details but I went into meltdown.

It was only finding Debbie Hayton on Woman's Place UK that gave me hope. In her I knew I had found the side I really belonged to. Therefore any success in what I am doing now is completely down to her friendship and support.

All being well may hear from local radio very soon.

Love to everyone
Leanne x

Quite heartbreaking. Not surprising though.

"It has not brought me what I dreamed. You can only be a copy. There are very few men and women that would be willing to spend their lives committed to a transsexual person."

If only those words could be shown to everyone exploring the possibility of medical transition before they start on the path. Leanne actually passes very well, if the photos are anything to go by, yet has not found happiness or contentment. Very sad and a story likely to be repeated many, many times in the future.