Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing

I skimmed it last night gibbering and have added to my reading list for later, I felt sad at the thought of girls being held to sexual ransom just to get their phones back. Dd has asked for a phone, dh wants to get her one but I'm not so sure, and some of the issues in that article do play on my mind, she's smart with online safety and has internet access via her ipad and PC, but for some reason a phone feels different and I can't explain why, maybe it's because a phone, and the personal info on it, is easier to lose.

Has anyone else seen this yet www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/2360689-Guest-post-Internet-giants-are-exploiting-our-kids-and-we-need-to-take-a-stand ? It's about the social issues around modern digital equipments and habits to do with kids and concludes with a bill of iRights for the modern age. These kind of issues come up on the feminist boards regularly and I thought some more intelligent people here (than me) might be interested.

m-pesa is the company rather than a charity. I am pretty sure m-pesa sends shillings though?

(The link just says "money" or "currency").

That's what I meant. :)

Yes. NAMALT.

I think that's a legit place for a NAMALT, LordC. Reminds me of why child benefit is usually paid to mothers - because some fathers (not all by any means but a sizeable proportion) would spend it on themselves rather than their families. It's a gamble if you fund men, but funding women benefits their entire household.

So a woman in a good position will look after others. A man won't?

M-Pesa rings a bell, especially the bit about the mobile wallet, which is Bitcoin-like. Digital currencies are fascinating.

Google search on "Keiser Report recently who is head of a mobile phone money transfer system in Kenya" comes up with M-Pesa.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M-Pesa

Could it be Give Directly? They come up when I google money transfer charity Kenya.

There was an interview with a woman on Keiser Report recently who is head of a mobile phone money transfer system in Kenya. She said micro loans via mobile phone were transforming womens' lives and those of their families, as they're used to buy goats and chickens etc, and they can send their children to school and earn a living. Unfortunately I can't remember her name nor the organisation she worked at, and much as I love Max I'm not going to trawl through 6 months worth of shows. That's about 78 half hour shows.

What I did find interesting is that many of these African women were using digital currencies, well, Bitcoin, because it can be split infinitessimenally, transfer is almost instant, payments can be traced through the Blockchain and it's impossible to forge.

I checked earlier and you can also sponsor a woman through Woman to Woman.

Well done Inicked's DD. :)

Just watched Peter Lloyd on This Morning, after seeing a link on my sisters Facebook, he's saying that's it's women's fault that marriage is on the decrease. He gave me the rage so I turned it off.

Dd is excited to receive a letter and has started writing one already, she wanted to help a girl her age but wasn't sure about a specific country so we selected "wherever it's needed most" option, I've literally just set the direct debit up and dd is saying she will be checking the post everyday :)

We sponsor a girl through Plan too. I specifically asked for an Asian girl, in the hopes that I might save even one from child marriage. We get letters from her family, and her birthday is only a week off DD2's. The DDs love having thing link to a girl who lives so far away, and spend ages writing their letters to her. It turns out that the money doesn't specifically go to her/her family, but rather her community. But having a girl to contact in the community makes it all feel personal, and I hope that Plan is developing that community in a way that means the girls don't get married off. She's definitely getting an education out of it, which is so important.

Well done to your DD, Inicked!!

I sponsor a girl through Plan. I can't remember whether I've got a specific girl or if I just pay for a girls place at a school. I do know that I pay £15 per month to further a girls education in India and they occasionally send me post. I'm considering sponsoring another one. I also fund loans through Kiva, and only ever fund loans to women, preferably those women who want to study.

I've read similar in The Times. I think it's a source of optimism that this is now being recognised and some agencies (govt or otherwise) are starting to realise they need to channel resources to women.

I've heard that before too. I don't know if it's a depressing fact ...

about a year ago there was an international charity worker talking on the radio, and she said that there's a huge amount of evidence that helping women in poorer countries benefits the entire family, whereas helping men benefits the men. so, yes, sponsoring a girl to go to school, or a woman to be a midwife, would be a really good thing to do.

We don't match anything... Years of living in furnished rented place have blinded our eyes to decoration (which explains the colour of the flipping back bedroom which we actually did paint ourselves, in a colour that wasn't what we imagined. )

Not usually, no, but it's enormous. I do match the toy boxes - plain wood in the front room, Ikea primary colours in the DCs' room. The other larger toys (red ride on engine, red rocking moose) go much better with the front room.

People match toys with decor?

I hadn't actually thought that DS might reject a toy on grounds of pinkness! I was mainly choosing another colour to clash a bit less with the decor...

@bertie It's a good point about maybe my dad and his wife feeling uncomfortable about buying boys things for a girl. I hadn't thought of it like it that and just assumed they were trying to hurt me, as I'd wonder why they asked what she wanted, and then just ignore me. They probably did feel uncomfortable.

I loved my dad very much, but after reading here, he (and his wife) very sexist and I dare say now mysoginists, and it confused me at the time, I always felt I was doing some thing wrong around him, and I couldn't see what I was doing that was so bad that would get all the negative comments about my life, wheras my brother, who was pretty much the same was idolised. He was fine to live together and have a child out of wedlock and was praised for being a great dad, wheras I was constantly reminded in every conversation about being unmarried, allowing dd to have make friends, being a shit mum, the list goes on and I can see now my anxiety problems all stem from him. It got a lot worse after he died, his wife would say "what would you dad think?" Then I'd feel guilty and do whatever it was she was wanting me to do. And I didn't want dd having her head messed with so I cut contact. I explained to her why in a long letter and wished her well etc, for months his wife told anyone who would listen that I got pissy at not being left money and said some horrible things about dd who was 6, basically me letting her wear track suits was encouraging her to be a lesbian. I did the right thing going NC and know I didn't do anything wrong. It was my Dad. I'm sad it took him dying to make me realise as maybe I coukd have spoke to him, but I also think if he was still around I'd be just as scared of making him disappointed in me. It's mind boggling the hold he had when I look back.

I waffled a lot. Dh suggested starting a journal to say the things to him I can't say now as he's gone, think I might do that actually, I have over 30 years of crap and every time I let a bit out I feel better.

The charity was Plan, I'm going to set a direct debit today for dd, I like the idea of sponsoring a student nurse or midwife too, so I will look into that, are there any charities/companies I should avoid?

I don't think I'd paint the dolls house, I would want to, but the effort would out me off, if it involved sandpaper then no way. The thought if touching that stuff makes me cringe. The sounds of kids using stones to draw on the path has the same cringiness. I can drag my nails down a blackboard though.

I wouldn't paint the doll's house. If DD is going to have a pink phase she will have it regardless of the doll's house. And if DS is going to decide that a doll's house is too girly, it won't matter if you paint it army camoflage, it will still be a doll's house.