Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing

DrSpouse It's sort of a mixture, really. Some have limited understanding and some will have taken it all in. Some where probably wondering where the tea trolley was

Perhaps requesting a different trainer may be in order.

It could well be. As far as I know, the company only provides this service to similiar settings and he mentioned he had been there for some years. Perhaps he is so used to his usual place he misjudged how to approach somewhere new?

I think what bothered me was that what he was saying was mostly true but didn't need to have been said? So instead of observing them exercise and then adapting where neccesary - so moving the skittles closer, choosing a lighter ball, noticing when concentration dropped - he would just talk about it.

So - 'Lets stretch our arms. Can you do that, Bob? Yes! Good man! See, how Bob is trying? He's not getting them all the way up, true, but he is doing his best. That's what I need to see. I'm assessing you, you see, and I need to see you trying. I need to see what you can do so I can help you do it better. Well done for trying, Bob, I like to see you try....' and so on and so. For each person.

And yes, Buffy they are elderly

Are your residents the kind of people who take things too literally and have limited understanding? Or the kind of people who are only too aware what people say and can be ultra sensitive to any nuance?

Because in either case it might be worth having a "word" in someone's ear (not sure if that should be a trainer or a manager).

If the former, then that type of resident is likely to take "people might say they were lazy" to mean "people definitely think we are lazy".

If they latter they are probably already offended...

(I was actually thinking of asking for some nuanced-speech type related advice here myself but will hold off for a little bit).

I'll try

Usually, the trainer will chat to the residents as they come in (we are rarely 100 per cent ready on time) so things like 'hello, how are you', 'Great weather this morning', 'looking forward to easter?'.

He will then do some basic stretches (reach for the ceiling, pretend to brush your hair and so on). We use some 'gym' equipment like stretch bands and play skittles or a similair game and then finish off with some more stretches. All with cheery music and lots of encouragement.

The first part happened as usual, although a bit less personal as the trainer was new (not his fault obviously). This was fine.

The stretches took about half an hour, instead of fifteen minutes because he was talking so much. We used some of the equipment but never did the games or second round of stretches.

He kept saying that it was important for everyone to try and join in and do as much as they can. I didn't have a problem with that, as it's true and I say myself in various activities. He also, however, spoke a lot about 'keeping the Doctor away' and 'making sure people see you doing things'. I can't remember word for word, unfortunately, but he repeatedly emphasised that they didn't want to be the 'only one not doing anything' and that he was assesing what they could do so 'he could help them do it better' and he wanted to 'stick up for them when other people said they were lazy'

Does that make sense?

I think you should trust your professional judgement that it wasn't quite right for the setting. Are you able to give an example of something you felt was off?

I work as an activity co-ordinator in a care setting.
Yesterday we had our weekly 'gym' session, which involves a trainer coming in and leading a fitness class that is specially designed for our residents. They really enjoy it and it's good for them.

We usually have the same instructor every week but haven't for the last two sessions. I suspect the trainers are paid on a 'when we have work we call you in' kind of basis, so they often don't stay long term and are prone to changes, if you see what I mean.

Yesterday was a new trainer. He was nice enough - very chatty - but there were some things that he said that I felt were...wrong? I'm finding it hard to articulate but I felt like he was giving out the wrong kind of message to the residents - though nothing dangerous.

Since I brought him in and deal with the company who employs him, I sort of feel like it is my responsibility to 'protect' the residents from things that are potentially harmful but, on the other hand, I don't know if I am over-reacting. Maybe my perception is off?

Sorry for the ramble.

I read it as he's almost as proud of her for this comedy thing as he was proud of her for marrying him. Being proud of someone for marrying you seems odd, but it's the almost that doesn't sit well.

It depends what they are being proud if me for. DH was proud of me when I passed some particularly tricky professional exams and when I got a big promotion at work. I'm OK with this, because he was proud of me doing something for me IYSWIM.

Oh, and of course feel free to ask away Vampyre

The only people who are allowed to be proud of me are my parents. Anyone else I would feel patronised. But I'm very grumpy.

Ask away vampyre.

Morning all!

DC's will be fine and dandy Lord Copper and Oubliette. Enjoy the peace and quiet

Can I ask for some advice, even though it's not particularly to do with Feminism?

An old schoolmates posted on fb about his wife performing in some comedy thing. "Almost as proud as the day she said 'I do'," he said. So getting herself an owner is more of an achievement?

Good morning!

Perfectly reasonable question Buffy.

DS1 will be going away on his own too soon and a bit worried about feeling homesick. The packing list does not include a soft toy! We were ! Woodcraft Folk camping list always include a teddy.

Thanks everyone - I'm feeling less worried today

It is a bit of a strange trip structure. Part school trip and part family trip. Some of the boys are going with their parents and siblings, some (like DS) are going on their own. I'm not quite sure how the dynamics will work. I'm sure he'll be absolutely exhausted by the time he gets home - given they are travelling by coach, I imagine he'll be pretty tired when he arrives in Austria.

Ooh where I put "distraction" I meantto write "reassurance" but got... erm... distracted!

Kickass hope you and dd are having a peaceful evening

He'll be fine Oubliette.

I'm off on a school trip on Tuesday. I'm ridiculously excited for somebody who is about to spend 4 days with a busload of teenagers, but it's going to be brilliant!

We'll keep you company.

I remember DS1's first school trip. I took DS2 out and we basically did everything I could think of. It's not sustainable, is it?

Sorry I'm not helping. DS1 is due to go away with school too.

Dp's school do FB updates and photos which go down really well (plus some parents write soppy comments underneath which embarrasses all the pupils!)

They will be kept deliberately busy to knacker them out and reduce the risk of homesickness too. Dp takes children on trips who are 11yo, so a bit older but still often their first trip away from family, and some do get miss home a bit but the teachers usually know when they just need a bit of distraction and when they need to make a call home to hear a parent's voice

I'm going to spend all week avidly following the ski trip twitter account, aren't I? and I'm not even on bloody twitter yet

But of course they will be fine!

(Sorry!!!!)

Oubliette. I think I don't really breath until the DC are back from their playdates locally.