Feminist Pub XVIII, in which the Bluestocking greets the first signs of spring with a glass of something soothing

Yes, that would be nice to see!

How about they provide the women with equal funding and training, give it 2 to 3 years, then see how many applicants they get?

Perhaps they could swap facilities see how that works out. If after a couple of years women still cba to apply, then they could swap back again.

May I come in and have a glum pint over the boat race?

I am aware it's an Oxbridge thing and therefore dubious, and so on, but I was really excited about them having the women racing in the main event for the first time, and having Clare Balding commentating.

And I thought it was really a bit poor, TBH. The Cambridge women made the point that they had far worse training facilities and funding than the men, and yet they chose for a soundbite after the race, a man explaining 'well, Cambridge just need to get the message out' and claiming they had the 'right' facilities and just needed women to apply.

So ... the problem with women in sport is just women, then, not applying?

(I admit, just for now, I am partisan, but mainly I am irritated in a feminist way.)

Yeah, there was a bit too much emphasis on their foreignness. My sister is very little Britain, and becoming more so as she gets older.

I don't generally mind tourists, foreign or otherwise.

Well I got annoyed with all the tourists when I was away last week. I conveniently ignored the fact that I was a tourist and had brought 58 other tourists with me - on a bus, so we're the worst sort of tourist!

Tourists are mostly annoying, foreigners are not all annoying, I rather suspect that they're annoying in roughly the same proportion as everyone else. Sorry your sis was rude and made you sad kickass

kickass I used to know someone who used to know someone who denies she's foreign anywhere because she's British.

urgh!
just been on the phone with DSis. she has been moaning about being somewhere touristy that was really busy and "full of foreigners". not only am I an immigrant, but DSis lived in Norway for several years. Apparently they went for a bit of a walk and got away from "the foreigners".

(and I know that coach loads of people are annoying, but no need to other them quite so much)

I work for an American corporation, but I mostly wear just trousers and t-shirt and cardi. Jeans are Friday only, though. And I do occasionally wear a dress or a trouser suit, if there's something big on. I never wear make-up. Well, occasionally I wear nail varnish.

My mother's bee in her bonnet was about my lack of grooming, meaning not wearing makeup to Computer Science school . She now takes delight in rubbing in the fact that I have to dress up a lot for work, as per the American Corporation thread.

Fibon EBear

kickass that sounds like a wonderful Christmas to me.

I've mentioned this many times, but my mum was genuinely shocked one Christmas when I said that I was relaxing as the turkey was in the oven and we'd opened all the presents. DH was building Lego with DD and I was reading a new book. My mum thought I should be doing something. For a fleeting second I felt guilty, then decided that I could bloody well relax and enjoy Christmas Day with my family!

My mother was also like that. I just stopped telling her stuff, so she only got a very edited version of my life.

I do try to remind myself of all the stuff I'm getting right and to make decisions based on what I think is good/right rather than what other people expect. E.g. At the weekend DD and DH love to laze around and do lots of sedentary things.i was brought up to be busy all the time, and outdoors if the weather is nice. However, not only do I have fairly crappy underlying health issues which mean I need to rest and relax, but DD is on the spectrum and has anxiety and needs down time, and DH works really long hours. We do go out and do something, at least once each day,but my parents are horrified that were not all dressed and busy by 9 am. I have really had to teach myself to get over my conditioning to accept that our family lifestyle is actually good for us, not lazy, wasteful and ruining DD's life.

I also regularly remind myself how fucking privileged I am to live in a time and place where I have the headspace to even think about these things.

kickass That's right. But the conditioning is so deep that it's hard sometimes to tell yourself that you are doing fine. I sometimes do that and then tell myself not to be so smug.

Your ex boss sounds like my mom, Helena . Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is ever good enough.

kickass you have articulated that so well Its all about finding fault isnt it? If you "pass muster" in one way they will look for a way in which you dont.

You see you should be successful but not too successful. So no-one can actually say that you look just right. They have to find something wrong with you to keep you in your place. Even if there were a perfect weight height appearance checklist that you met in every way then there would be another way to fail you. If you're good at your job you've neglected your kids, if you're a SAHM then you smother them and should get a job etc etc.

Smile smugly to yourself knowing that you know better and her and she's just a blind victim if the patriarchy who unwittingly perpetuates it.

Thanks I just needed a tiny vent and somewhere to write it down. Im fairly happy with the way i look. I have some loose skin but i see it as a reminder of what ive achieived. I dont think its a coincidence that the pressure on women to look a certain way gets ramped up the more equality we achieve. Ive been posting on her for 4 years (this is my third username ) and its REALLY opened my eyes to this and other ways pressure is heaped upon women.

I want to say something but dont want to start a thread. I saw my ex boss today for the first time in ages. Ive lost over 3 and a half stone since i last saw her. And she just said to me "well done but you really need to lose two more if you can" Im a size 14 so not huge. And im happy I was 21 stone just over a decade ago I lost ten stone originally then put some back on which im in the process of losing now. Ive been feeling really pressured because the weight has been coming off so slowly this time and feeling so pressured has been affecting my mental health. I would NEVER go up to a very slim woman and tell her she needs to put two stone on Why is the other way around socially acceptable?