Page 10 | I feel physically sick at how much grandparents spending on Christmas

Sadiuit · 2026-10-24T01:25:51+00:00

My mum let slip that she’s budgeting £250 per child for Christmas. They’ve already picked up a long list of things, so we’re talking lots of toys in the £10–£30 range, plus bits and bobs from B&M, rather than one or two bigger presents each. If they’d told me they wanted to spend that much on the children, I could have suggested one or two larger items that we actually wanted or needed. Instead, I’m now facing the prospect of an absolutely ridiculous number of individual items coming into our house. I posted before about my mum and the B&M 2 for £20 toys, and it’s going to be £500 worth of that sort of stuff. I genuinely feel physically sick thinking about it!

ttcat37 · Yesterday 14:44

Just say no? You’re the parent ffs. £250 worth of presents is crazy and overwhelming for parents let alone their kids.
I set a 1 present limit last year. It was glorious. Would recommend wholeheartedly!

IVeryMuchDoNotThinkSo · Yesterday 14:50

My in laws used to do this. But like someone has said, they never took them out for a meal when they were at university or paid for a driving lesson. There is no savings account. It was all just about stuff. When my dc were little I used to take the stuff straight to playgroups and doctors waiting rooms. Some years I didn’t keep any of it. When my oldest was three, we told PIL we were buying dd a kitchen so they also bought her a kitchen.

CleverlyBeery · Yesterday 14:52

Sadiuit · Yesterday 14:17

Well i suppose that's actually making me feel deep dread is the volume. I knew it would be all 'tat' tbh as we have been there before, but I didn't realise the budget- higher budget means higher volumes.
This isn't a case of them spending £200 on something like a bike. Though that said, we bought son a specific bike, measured for his size, had extra features, and then they went out and got him a character one with stabilisers (and a load more stuff too) . I honestly think they were trying to one up us, they had to win top gifters.
I have asked them to buy a specific thing (a character toy no longer in production) but it's only available second hand so they won't get it and have told me they've bought something vaguely related from Amazon.
I asked them to buy magna tiles last year and instead of the brand, or even a copycat set from Amazon, they got the cheapest flimsiest set that couldn't be more than £5 from somewhere and they didn't even stick together and weren't compatible with what we had. We had to bin them within 72 hours, the plastic cracked easily and a magnet came out. It does make me feel sick all over again just the complete and utter waste of both money and resources.
It's quantity over quality always.

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That's awful.
Most people probably know, but in case anyone doesn't:

Small magnets are incredibly dangerous around little kids. They can be life-threatening if swallowed as they can cause internal tears.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwy7wy54wyxo

CleverlyBeery · Yesterday 14:54

Argostoys · Yesterday 13:45

Magazine subscription are another good choice.

My children have absolutely loved theirs. It literally is the gift that keeps on giving as they get excited every week!

HowHaveYouFoundThis · Yesterday 15:00

Could they pay for you to have a holiday instead?

Howmuchisthatparrotinthewindow · Yesterday 15:13

Open it all at their house and leave it all behind 'so the kids have something to do when they visit'

Arabelllllllla · Yesterday 15:19

Sadiuit · Yesterday 14:17

Well i suppose that's actually making me feel deep dread is the volume. I knew it would be all 'tat' tbh as we have been there before, but I didn't realise the budget- higher budget means higher volumes.
This isn't a case of them spending £200 on something like a bike. Though that said, we bought son a specific bike, measured for his size, had extra features, and then they went out and got him a character one with stabilisers (and a load more stuff too) . I honestly think they were trying to one up us, they had to win top gifters.
I have asked them to buy a specific thing (a character toy no longer in production) but it's only available second hand so they won't get it and have told me they've bought something vaguely related from Amazon.
I asked them to buy magna tiles last year and instead of the brand, or even a copycat set from Amazon, they got the cheapest flimsiest set that couldn't be more than £5 from somewhere and they didn't even stick together and weren't compatible with what we had. We had to bin them within 72 hours, the plastic cracked easily and a magnet came out. It does make me feel sick all over again just the complete and utter waste of both money and resources.
It's quantity over quality always.

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Ugh we have this with my MIL, she won't stop buying stuff from Alibaba and Temu. Im the same as you, I just bin it because it's not fit to give away. I wouldnt want to endanger other kids!

I dont have any solutions, just to say I understand. I do make sure it doesn't all end up in my house, but it's so wasteful and unnecessary.

Could you suggest they buy tickets to an experience they could enjoy with the kids instead? Or as their main present. One of those Christmas light trails etc.

Ohthedaffodils · Yesterday 15:34

I’m a gm and I’d love to buy my dgs loads of gifts but I stop myself as there wouldn’t be enough room in their house.
Instead I buy a few gifts from B&M and donate them to the children’s Christmas present charity. I can buy them at B&M and just leave them in the cages I store. Very easy to do.

Switcher · Yesterday 15:43

That's really awful of them. They don't have to go as far as giving the kids a certificate saying they planted a tree in Africa as their Xmas gift (yes, my mother gave her 5 year old grandchildren that), but just getting them one nice thing each, with a few small stocking fillers for the fun, would be fine. She could buy them bikes for that money.

Ophy83 · Yesterday 15:43

I agree with @Easilyforgotten . Tell your mum space is an issue so you only have room for a couple of physical presents each. Anything else will have to stay at hers. If she doesn't want that to happen she could simply buy 1 or 2 presents or get something like an annual zoo membership

BillieWiper · Yesterday 16:02

Just tell her how overly generous that budget is. That it's not necessary. But Lucy would love x and Joe would love y (1 bigger present each but more like upto 100 in cost) and they really don't need anything else. Send links to the exact items.

Sgreenpy · Yesterday 16:16

Ask they to put the money in bank accounts instead. Say a limit of £50 fir a gift.

ChocolateCinderToffee · Yesterday 16:32

Which of your parents is the driving force behind this behaviour? If it's mainly your mother, I would try to tackle your father and ask him to support you in stopping it. For the amount of money they're planning to spend, they could have an extra holiday!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · Yesterday 16:41

user1492757084 · Yesterday 05:22

Thank DGP for their generosity.
Insist that it is too generous and not sustainable for the planet nor for your home storage. And that one or two gifts each is enough.
Give ideas ...
Remind DGP of collections/sets that can be added to.
Suggest a family yearly pass to a zoo or museum.
Suggest a term of swimming lessons etc
Inform them of any super large combined gift to which they may contribute.

Remember to ask children to donate 10 toys to the thrift shop about now.

Maybe.. ask them to cut the purchasing in half and if they want to spend that much put the remainder into the children's savings accounts.
I liked the idea of family passes... We used to buy them for nearby attractions when offers came up and it was a godsend for school holidays or very bored on Sundays after sports.

aLittleWhiteHorse · Yesterday 16:57

Hmm… I would let the kids open every gift and then ask them which one they wanted to take home, because the rest have to stay at the grandparents’ house for when they come to play there. And if grandparents insist on you taking them home, conveniently forget to do so. if they bring them over to yours next time they visit - bring them back to the grandparents next time you visit and just state you have no room for them. What a shame when present xxxx wpuld have been so useful.

FlowerUser · Yesterday 17:32

My DH tells me that when his DD was three her mum spent £1,000 on lots of presents, "to see her magical face". By the end, DSD was so bored with having to open yet another present.

She's now in her 30s and doesn't remember that Christmas at all.

It's such a waste - and just for the sake of the OP's parents' feelings.

Thesillysocks · Yesterday 17:46

My late grandma used to send a small gift and money in a card to buy the children their next winter coats. That was so thoughtful.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · Yesterday 17:47

Honestly, I'd just sell it on vinted and use the money for a nice family day out. She clearly wants to do it, and will be hurt if you say no, and you definitely don't want all that shit in your house - sell it and let someone else get a bargain that their kids will love. If your mum asks just say it got broken or the batteries are being changed.

Packofsix · Yesterday 18:00

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Packofsix · Yesterday 18:02

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Argostoys · Yesterday 18:06

CleverlyBeery · Yesterday 14:54

My children have absolutely loved theirs. It literally is the gift that keeps on giving as they get excited every week!

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What subscription do they have? We’re looking for new ones.

Original poster

Sadiuit · Yesterday 18:16

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Ha, for what it's worth their dad's side are entirely reasonable!

I am ungrateful, that's fair, I don't see why I should be grateful for a load of stuff no one wants and more work sorting it out just because one day they won't be around to do it anymore 🤷🏼‍♀️

I also think the magic of Christmas is watching a film by the tree with a hot chocolate or baking gingerbread etc....maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store? 😉

OP posts:

thepariscrimefiles · Yesterday 18:22

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Why on earth should OP be grateful for £250 worth of Temu and B&M plastic tat?

HearHareHere · Yesterday 19:38

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · Yesterday 17:47

Honestly, I'd just sell it on vinted and use the money for a nice family day out. She clearly wants to do it, and will be hurt if you say no, and you definitely don't want all that shit in your house - sell it and let someone else get a bargain that their kids will love. If your mum asks just say it got broken or the batteries are being changed.

But doesn’t that just create more work for a possibly already very busy OP? Selling loads of stuff takes time and it sounds like a lot of it might not be worth very much for the hassle to even be worth it?

TrustyRusty · Yesterday 20:21

Ask them to keep some of the toys at their house for when you visit. It’s a grandparents privilege to
spoil their grandchildren. They won’t be around forever & they want to delight them! So many children don’t even have any grandparents - or grandparents who bother with them! Suggest some days out with them but just let them enjoy your children in their own way :-)