1st Holy Communion - Advice please!

Is your child baptised into the Catholic Church? She will need to be before she can receive her first holy communion in any case. I went to a catholic school but I’m non/ catholic, there were a few of us, we learned what was happening but didn’t take part.

I’m catholic and I don’t think you’d even be able to do it if not baptised

Peer pressure is not a good reason to participate in a religious ritual. If the students or teachers will treat him differently, the school really has no business operating. Even children of religious parents have the right to choose their own beliefs.

1.have you actually checked most children are doing the communion? Because it is unlikely now. When I was at catholic primary we were all catholic but it’s very different now.

2.Have you checked the criteria for entrance to the secondary? Usually it isn’t on the basis of having done all the sacraments but is on the basis of being at the catholic primary.

3.Holy Communion is about committing to the catholic ethos and practice. It’s generally a commitment required by both child and parent because it requires a lot of mass attendance in preparation. Moreover, if your child has not been baptised in the catholic faith they cannot do holy communion. So I’m surprised you think they have the choice to.

I would suggest talking to the school. It is likely that they encounter this situation regularly & have established ways of managing it. Presumably your child is not a baptised catholic, so the issue should not arise. They will automatically opt out, and they probably won’t be the only one.

Additionally, holy communion is not a Catholic ‘tradition’. It is a holy sacrament, and therefore a fundamental part of the practice of the faith.

Unless your child has been baptised in a Catholic Church, Holy Communion isn’t an option for them.

They will be required to show their baptismal certificate at some point.

The First Holy Communion is a time for catholics to receive the Body of Christ for the first time.

She won’t be able to take part if she isn’t baptised, and it’s the lack of baptism that’ll rule out most Catholic secondary schools.

She can’t do it anyway if she isn’t baptised. I remember a kerfuffle in one of my dcs year when one parent had lost her ds’s baptism certificate and was struggling to get the copy from the church in Poland where she hadn’t been for years. Most classes even in schools with almost all Catholic kids will have some not doing it. Ds’s friend was “held back” to do it with his sibling in the year below, some attended a different church and did it there, some went to their home country and did it there. It’s a real sacrament like marriage or baptism and she would need to do first reconciliation before first Holy communion. It’s not just something they do by in y3 like going on a field trip to the space centre or doing Egyptians.

Not everywhere- in Scotland you only need to attend the catholic primary to get automatic admission to the secondary.

Confirmed?

Confirmation happens when the child is older, ie secondary school age, around 12 years old. They basically confirm their faith as Catholic.

Being baptised and making your first holy communion still wouldn’t put you in the priority category.

You shouldn’t become a catholic just to get into your preferred school either.

Your lack of knowledge on this subject is astonishing OP, considering you actively chose to send your child to a catholic school and she is now in Year 3, which is the year that they start preparing to receive their First Holy Communion!

I suggest you do some research - you are making a lot of assumptions here. You’ve already said that many of the children aren’t Catholic - if this is true, they won’t be able to receive their First Holy Communion. They may receive a blessing if their families wish for them to take part in the service, but that’s all.

Speak to the school and the local priest, be curious about what you have actually signed your child up for.

Your child cannot be baptised at this age if neither parent is Catholic/ have an intention to raise the child as a Catholic so the issue will not arise.

I don’t live in the uk but friends do, and when they were enrolling their children into the local catholic school the requirements were quite strict; they had to attend mass every Sunday without fail and be baptised catholic. it is interesting that the school your child attends sounds much more lenient.
where I live. ROI, there are mixed faiths in the schools so it is normal for some children not to take part in the communion sacrament

My DD’s best friend from birth had her first holy communion here in Ireland where it’s big and all the girls dressed like mini brides. It was a big day for her friend so we made a huge effort and dressed our DD in an ivory trouser suit. Her friend’s school were so good to her they even had a place at the party table despite not even going to the school!

I can advise that in Ireland the children have classroom based learning about the sacrament and about once a month the normal Sunday mass the children take active roles such as readings and prayers, parents are involved in these masses also.
then closer to the communion date the children have their first confession with the priest usually followed 1-2 weeks later by the first holy communion mass

I find it very difficult to believe that secondary school requires a child to be confirmed when generally a child is 10-14 when confirmation is done. When I did it, only year 6 and years 7-9 at the secondary schools participated. This was because the confirmation was carried out by the Bishop of the diocese and he could only get round to the group of schools every 4 years (size of diocese)

I am also surprised that the communion class is held within school hours as I thought it was an after school class nowadays due to the numbers of non-catholics attending primary schools, it certainly is where I now live.

As for your child supporting classmates, I haven't a clue what support you think is needed 🙂 just an oh well done, and a 'did you enjoy it?' after the event - and maybe assistance in working out what sins to confess to for first confession

I think it would be very unusual in a school where most children aren’t Catholic for your child to be the only one not doing it.

FHC is the second of 3 sacrament of initiation into the church. Baptism is the first, confirmation the last. They are usually done separately but they can be combined in the same service if you have missed an earlier sacrament.
our parish now does it slightly differently but typically there will be a series of taught sessions (monthly?) teaching about the sacrament and the different parts of the mass. Then children will be prepared to make their first reconciliation (confession). Depending on the parish there is then a service where all the children make their first communion together. Sometimes this is in a regular mass. Sometimes there will be a special service for it.

Not sure there is much your DS can do to support friends other than attend the service if he wants to.

I’m really surprised that you are saying they will baptise and do holy communion in the same service. I have never heard of such a thing. You should maybe ask the priest rather than the other parents.

You also normally can’t get baptised in the catholic faith unless you have a catholic parent. I am catholic and come from a very Irish catholic family and I had to convince the priest to baptise my child because I wasn’t attending mass regularly myself.

It’s not something you can just turn up and do.

As for the actual service. The children wear an outfit such as a white dress or shirt and sash for boy and they have to answer some questions by priest which are scripted and practiced before. After communion you can take the bread and wine in mass. But the main thing is in the build up- lots of mass attendance and activities at school.

I'd also say that if you do attend the FHC service, you won't be able to take communion as you yourself haven't done your FHC and aren't Catholic

Technically speaking the church doesn’t require either parent to be Catholic for baptism. Only the godparents. It is likely to raise some questions though and I’d imagine quite a few priests would refuse.

Not sure if that applies once a child has reached what the church considers the age of reason though.

Hi @LotsToLearnHere
Sacramental Prepaeation will take place in the school and home. The parish is also often involved and the school chaplain will visit the class in school or the children will visit the church during this preparation.

As some previous posters have stated First Holy Communiion is a sacrament. It is one of the three sacrament of initiation, the other two are baptism and confirmation. Baptism is the first sacrament received, often as young babies, then children will prepare for the sacrament of reconciliation in P3 and The Eucharist/First Holy Communion the following year in P.4. Shortly before their Holy Communion they will attend confession/reconciliation again. In P.7 they prepare for the sacrament of confirmation and again, attend confession before receiving it. In most archdiocese the Bishop or Archbishop is the celebrant and he confirms the children.

The Holy Eucharist is the source and summit of the Catholic faith and receiving it for the first time is only done after participation in the preparation programme or lessons. Children would not receive it at the same time as their baptism.

Adults who undertake a period of preparation in a RICA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) are fully initiated into the church at the Easter Vigil Mass. They are baptised, confirmed and receive communion for the first time during the same Mass.

On the day, children and families will gather at the church. This may be at a special Mass or at the weekly Mass times of the parish. In my local area there are 4 Masses over two Sundays with small groups of communicants. In the past, there were two masses with whole classes.

The Mass is celebrated with the Introductory Rites, the Liturgy of the Word, the Liturgy of the Eucharist, and the Concluding Rites. The communicants proceed to the altar first to receive communion then the other Catholic members of the congregation receive communion. Upon reaching the altar, they will place their left hand over their right hand to receive the host. The priest will hold up the host and say, "Body of Christ." They reply, "Amen." The priest places the host in their hand and they lift it and place it in their mouth. Non-catholics, younger children and catholics not receiving communion can receive a blessing or remain seated. If they choose to receive a blessing, they approach the altar with the procession and cross their hands over their chest when they reach the priest. The priest will bless them. The celebration of Mass continues and after Mass, families will host their own celebration with family and friends.

You’re worrying too much.

If you have zero interest or knowledge of the Catholic religion and do not plan to attend mass with your dc then this option is not for your dc.

Your dc doesn’t need to support his friends.

This makes no sense to me. Popular Catholic primaries in the UK often require children to be baptised and show evidence of the family practicing before even applying. Yet you got your child into a school without the most cursory knowledge of the stages of religious practice as they affect a child at a Catholic school? And now you’re saying ‘Oh, he might feel left out?’

For what it’s worth, a friend’s DD was the only one not making her communion at her school (not a choice of Catholic school, in Ireland where the vast majority of schools are still Catholic, and she’d attended the only local secular school and been withdrawn due to bullying) — she and her mum just did some kind of treat day out on the day. No need for ‘support’ of classmates.