Am I being unreasonable about being offended when people think men should sit at the head of the table?

Why don't you give it a go? Check out what food a family could buy/eat under rationing and the same for clothes and limit your family to that. Get rid of your central heating, only watch one channel on your TV (BBC) and use public transport (you certainly wouldn't have had your own car back then). Only have a bath (not a shower) a couple of times a week.

It sounds utterly hellish to me as women had no rights back then (no access to contraception, no access to abortion, marital rape was legal) but that seems to be what you would prefer.

Well she should know that it is very unclassy to talk hypothetically about anyone dying, and that is an awful thing to have said. Utterly bizarre, and awkward for you to hear no doubt.

That’s why we’ve always had a round dining table!!

There was room on the sides, MIL made a gap on the side to put him at the head of the table

I watched that; its incredible that they basically tried to weaponise the (totally natural and justified) anger of the mothers of dead children as “hysteria”, and portrayed it as women being unable to control themselves as opposed to whole families being upset that their children had died and no one was accepting accountability.

It made me really angry.

You sound like my toxic ex-MIL. She never worked but she was a housewife rather than a SAHM. She worshiped her husband and she told me that if she had to choose, she'd rather her own children died than her husband.

We clearly are very different people- I would never live with a man I wasn’t married to, certainly not have children with either. I respect tradition. I also did not marry a housemate- not going on dates or maintaining a physical relationship and letting things drift is weird- I don’t want a flatmate and I have plenty of platonic friends. A husband occupies a very unique and special role in my life.

This was a strict rule in my family. Still to this day my father must sit at the head of the table at their house, even if we’re just having tea. I specifically always place myself at the head of the table when they come for a meal at my house. My mother questioned it once and never again. 😊 When it’s just my own family we sit wherever we please. We have our favourite spots but it’s got nothing to do with rank. Youngest usually ends up at the head.

Your MiL was really rude to a) set a table for 6 people with uneven sides so she could put one person at the head and b) not immediately acquiesce when you told her it wasn't how you do things (and even ruder to scoff).

We put the cook at the head of the table when we have uneven numbers a it's closest to the kitchen. I would go absolutely mental if someone tried to insist it should be DH because he's the man.

I really don't understand how anyone can be "offended" by something so petty. I couldn't care less who sits at the head of the table.

No. I had a mother-in-law like this. Absolutely no filter and passive aggressive. Said things like, “You’re a smart girl, so I know you’ll realize I’m right. I’m surprised your mother didn’t teach you this.”

Well done for being assertive re this sexist crap... It's all thése small things that make girls think men are inherently superior in some way!

My father does this and it drives me insane.

People say it's no big deal but I've set a table for 4 people and had him move everything to one end when I wasn't looking because he thinks he should be the head. He also insists on having a special sharp knife to cut his dinner with that nobody else gets, has never cooked a meal in his life, and insists he is first served with gravy and wine and so on. It's repulsive behaviour, to me.

I sit at the head of the table on principle if we are an odd number or just the 2 of us because my step mum thought men should.
At 90 she’s just starting to get with the equality of the sexes.

Surely both ends of a rectangular table are the ‘head of the table’?
Our kitchen table seats 6, as a family of 4 we sit in twos opposite each other. Our dining table seats 10 and when we host DH and I usually sit at the ends so we’re both ‘head of the table’ I suppose
OP maybe MIL was moving the chairs to also make more space? 3 chairs next to each on each side of the table is not as spacious as moving 2 of the chairs to either end?

Our youngest sits at the head of our table. She’s a girl so I’m all for it. MIL should have listened and DH should stop being so wet.

Ok, well, that's quite different to my life. My dp and I aren't married by choice, and we're equal partners in everything. We spend plenty of time together, but twenty years into our relationship I can't say that "being wooed" is high on my list of priorities. It all seems a bit performative to me.

Our relationship seems to have survived fine, so it's possible your theory about dates and wooing being essential might not be correct in all cases.

It sounds like maybe your relationship isn't so stable if you'd jump to divorce so easily? Though, I would definitely end a relationship with anyone who wanted me to serve them their meal and sit them in a special situation to bolster their ego, so perhaps it isn't unreasonable.

What has all this got to do with the OP and sitting the H at the head of the table?

The head of the table is only used when there’s no space along the sides and anyone can sit there.

Maybe she was just pulling your leg knowing she had to put someone there?

R U ok hun?

^ this ^

yes he did probably did have the best slice of meat because he had probably been toiling all day in some shitty job to provide for his family

Unlike the woman who had doubtless had her feet up all day with a box of chocolates and several glasses of fine wine...?

And the head of the table is where ??
Semantics.......

Why don't you just give him a side to himself?

The MIL said it was the head of the table