My sister has been hurting her son

The whole system is fucked up pal. I have professional and personal experience with child abuse, parents keeping PR etc and it’s just a clusterfuck.
These poor kids deserve so much better.

Im so sorry to hear about this, that poor little girl. The second time I've cried about this thread today, first after the OP's post. I need to toughen up about it, I know.

Thank god there are people like you around to fight the good fight, hopefully I'll get there too in time.

Its just abominable that not only are there adults abusing children, but that there are people in positions of power putting the same children back in danger. Of course they won't see it as more abuse, but thats exactly what it is.

This information is really helpful to me, and im sure will help the OP navigate her family's awful situation so thank you.

This child will never be a tragic headline because everyone concerned did the right things when his mother didnt.

couldn’t agree with @PyongyangKipperbang more.

this @Kickpot

Thank god the boy is safe, fight to the end of your days to NEVER allow those monsters to have him back ever again

Also, at 5, while some brain wiring will have taken place a great deal of repair work can be done with the correct help. The brain also rewires heavily during adolescence and a lot can be done then, too.

Not all damage can be undone, and it depends on how severe the abuse was, but a great deal can be helped.

I think it may help to remember (this is to all on the thread as well as @Kickpot ) that as awful as what this poor wee man has been through, he has been removed from it.

It hasnt been ignored by teachers, glossed over by his family, let slip through the cracks by social workers or played down by the police.

This child will never be a tragic headline because everyone concerned did the right things when his mother didnt.

That is heartbreaking, poor little chap.

Please make sure that your parents are logging the visits, so there's a record if when she doesn't turn up or only stays for five minutes, etc. This could be really important in a court case. If they have a Ring doorbell which proves when/if she arrives and leaves, all the better

I will never ever understand it. Knowing how I feel as a mother, about my kids… I can’t imagine turning on them, whatever abuse I was going through. I’d rather be arrested for murder. Luckily my mum never turned on us either despite she was with an abuser herself.

I’ll never understand it but there’s a lot of stories about these situations so you must be right.

As you don’t live locally, you will be limited on what you can do. But you can do something. Could you offer financial support for your parents to have a break occasionally? Or pay towards therapies? If that isn’t affordable, you could offer to babysit when you are over again. Or take him out for the day.

My family stood by as my mother and her partner abused me and my siblings. They act surprised why we no longer talk. Anything you do to help him, will be great.

Sadly people change under the influence of a malign partner, sometimes out of all recognition.

I've come to the conclusion that there are very few people who will really stand up for their principles no matter what. It takes a lot.

Fucking hell. Evil truly walks among us doesn’t it?! Did she really not show any vindictive signs as kids, minor bullying etc? If not I’d def say drugs are involved.

The other thing is that it's probably essential that once the right therapist is found, that you stay with him or her. Change, once a bond is built, will be extremely difficult for your nephew.

@Kickpot

Your financial support will help a lot - getting specialised therapy will really make a long term difference.

your parents need to make sure it's a therapist specialized in both autism and in trauma. I really can't emphasise this enough - people with autism often respond differently to treatment than NT people and the wrong sort of therapy can actually make things worse.

In fact trauma itself can be hard to treat, and the combination of the two really does mean that a highly trained and experienced therapist is needed.

Im so glad that this abuse was detected now, and not later.

That will be it then. She has little or no income and he is refusing to share his income with her so she wants DN back rather than get a job.

I feel as you do, desperately hoping that it goes the way it should and the wee one stays with your Mum and Dad.

Have you told her how you feel? im guessing she wouldn’t care. She sounds monstrous.

I’ve read lots of good advice on the thread so I won’t add to it but wanted to send my thoughts that you and your parents are amazing! And I’ve been left in tears at the thought of this little boy.

I just want to echo this. Both my adopted DC have traits that could easily be confused with autism, but is in fact neglect and trauma based.