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Original poster

My sister has been hurting her son

313 replies

Kickpot · 20/10/2026 08:56

I wasn't sure where to post this, and I'm not even sure I'm expecting responses, but I needed to write this down somewhere.

I recently found out that my sister and her partner have been neglecting and physically and verbally abusing my nephew (her son).

He is 5 years old and this has probably been going on since she met her partner when my nephew was around 2 years old. My nephew is autistic and has only recently started speaking in a way that others can understand, previously he would repeat certain quotes over and over. I believe this is one of the reasons they were able to hide what they were doing as they would brush behaviours off as "autism" and he couldn't tell us any differently.

I live abroad and only visit my family once a year. I video call often and my sister would send photos and videos most days. I thought they had a normal life. If anything, I was proud of her as it seemed her parenting journey was much harder than my own and yet she was so happy. The guilt I have that I was too far away to notice that things weren't right, and that I'm still too far away to really help is all consuming.

This all only came to light as his teacher became suspicious. Then my mum found bruises. It has spiralled from there.

The thought that he has spent his short life feeling afraid and unable to ask for help is destroying me. The thought that my sister has inflicted such harm on a child, and watched as the man she chose did too, makes me sick. They recorded a lot of it. My sister shared the videos on the family WhatsApp as she believed they would absolve her. The images and the sounds never leave me, day or night. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know how my nephew will ever trust an adult again.

My nephew will stay with my parents now, hopefully permanently. I offered to have him live with me but that would upend his whole life. He loves his school and he has all of his therapies already set up in their town. My sister wants him back though, as does her partner. That surely won't be allowed?

I don't know if anyone will read this. I'm just devastated.

OP posts:
Fortuity · 20/10/2026 09:20

Kickpot · 20/10/2026 09:16

I won't share the details as they are traumatic
She believes it shows them trying to "deal with" meltdowns when all I see is taunting language and an unrelated male shoving and pushing a very small, very confused and, understandably very upset little boy. I see my sister snarling as she grabs and contorts his arms and his face.

Show quote history

Has someone given these recordings to social services and the police?

Fortuity · 20/10/2026 09:19

Are either or both of them being prosecuted?

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 20/10/2026 09:19

I'm sorry, OP. The videos must have been harrowing to watch.

It sounds like your sister has maybe been in denial if she thought that sharing the videos would absolve her. The violence has obviously become normalised for her.

Original poster
Kickpot · 20/10/2026 09:16

penguinineden · 20/10/2026 09:09

Your poor nephew.

what do the videos show? Why did she think they will absolve her?

hopefully her and the boyfriend will not be able to get her back. Particularly if the abuse captured on video is bad enough to warrant him being taken out of their care. There is no doubt / ambiguity if it is on video.

I won't share the details as they are traumatic
She believes it shows them trying to "deal with" meltdowns when all I see is taunting language and an unrelated male shoving and pushing a very small, very confused and, understandably very upset little boy. I see my sister snarling as she grabs and contorts his arms and his face.

OP posts:
Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 20/10/2026 09:14

Thank goodness actions taken. Please take comfort in that. I've made genuine reports that haven't gone anywhere..keeps me awake at night how those dc are living.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 20/10/2026 09:13

I'm so sorry for that poor little boy.

It must be awful to know that your sister has done this. And heartbreaking for your parents.

I hope that you and your family can help your little nephew recover from the trauma that he has suffered. I can't imagine that your sister will ever be allowed to have unsupervised contact again.

Kudos to the amazing teacher who helped to protect this poor child by spotting the signs and raising the alarm.

Original poster
Kickpot · 20/10/2026 09:13

GoldMoon · 20/10/2026 09:03

Has SS been contacted at the content of what was shown been shared to them , has RSPCC been contacted ?
Yes I get she is your sister , but you must not try to protect her . Tbh I would not see her as a sister from now on . She ( and her partner ) need prosecuting for what they have done and they need to never get him back .

I am absolutely not protecting her. I can't even look at her. I'm not involved in the investigation at all as considered too far removed from his day to day life, which is fair. I am doing what I can to support my parents through all of this. Paying for his therapies, ensuring he has everything he needs at their house. All I can really offer right now is money and a listening ear. It doesn't feel good enough.

OP posts:
Wherehaveallthesatsumasgone · 20/10/2026 09:09

That’s a devastating thing to find out. I’m so sorry. I understand why you have feelings of guilt but people who do this are often excellent at covering their tracks so even if you had been close by, you might not even have seen it then.

I’d be surprised if she will be allowed anything other than closely supervised contact, if that, for a very long time. Abuse over that long a period, clearly planned and filmed, is not something that they can just apologise for and they’ll get him back. Presuming all the checks on your parents come back satisfactory the mos likely outcome, I’d guess, is a special guardianship order whereby they would get parental responsibility. I don’t know the ins and outs of the process so don’t quote me on that, and it’s a long road, and if it started when she got with her partner there’ll be a lot of examination of that relationship too. Her chances of getting her son back will partly depend on the dynamics of that, I’d have thought, but it’s impossible to say without knowing the ins and outs of it all, and police will be involved too.

Make sure you have someone to talk to about it. This is a horrible shock for you and you need to process it, so while I’m sure you want to support your family you need to look after yourself too.

penguinineden · 20/10/2026 09:09

Your poor nephew.

what do the videos show? Why did she think they will absolve her?

hopefully her and the boyfriend will not be able to get her back. Particularly if the abuse captured on video is bad enough to warrant him being taken out of their care. There is no doubt / ambiguity if it is on video.

Greenseawitch · 20/10/2026 09:05

Poor boy, this is awful.

I hope your sister and her partner end up in jail for this.

Your nephew is now safe with you parents and you could not have known what was happening if you live abroad.

GoldMoon · 20/10/2026 09:03

Has SS been contacted at the content of what was shown been shared to them , has RSPCC been contacted ?
Yes I get she is your sister , but you must not try to protect her . Tbh I would not see her as a sister from now on . She ( and her partner ) need prosecuting for what they have done and they need to never get him back .

Oli34 · 20/10/2026 09:01

Your poor nephew.

Surely she’ll end up in prison and I can’t imagine she’ll be allowed any contact never mind to have him back.

If she was comfortable sharing some videos with you in an attempt to show it wasn’t ’that bad’ and absolve her I can’t imagine that was the worst of it.

Solotravelwonder · 20/10/2026 09:00

So sorry to hear this. It is horrific.
I'm glad he had your parents and you and is safe now.

You couldn't do any more than you have so don't blame yourself.