Nothing for my 60th.

That is awful. I would treat myself to something I really wanted to do.. If I'd got a friend who might like to join me I would ask them along, if not I would do it by myself. Moving fwd i would stop making an effort with their birthdays.

I'd be really upset if my DH and DC didn't want to make a fuss of me on any birthday. I think you need to set up expectations ahead of your special day. In our house if anyone has a birthday the birthday person chooses the restaurant and we all go for a nice meal. A birthday cake is bought. Cards and gifts are purchased by each person for birthday person and birthday person is waited on all day long. I'd expect a couple of bouquets of flowers, breakfast out with DH. Coffee out with DC who lives close to me at around lunch time. Cards arriving in post or had already arrived and DH had put them away for me. DC and foster DC had little gifts for me. This year foster teens bought me a nice key ring and shower gel. I have a large extended family so got 17 cards this year. They all go up on inglenook mantle for about 10 days. Then evening meal out on my favourite restaurant with DH, youngest D's who lives close by and foster DC. My 2 eldest DC and DGC video call me. DH always gets me a nice gift. He generally asks what if like but occasionally he has just bought me jewellery he knows I'll like diamond earring studs or similar. You need to tell them what you'd like to happen.

I’m sorry you had such a disappointing day but I think other posters have made the point, maybe expectations in your household are low. Also I can imagine DD has other things on her mind. Did she actually realise it was your 60th - adult children don’t always think about how old you are?

I don’t have a DH to disappoint me 😄 so I have to organise birthday things myself. I have some good friends who ensure it’s not overlooked, I’d actually like a bit less fuss these days.

Come up with a list of some different things/experiences/places you’d like to do. Doesn’t have to be fancy - stately home visit, coffee with a friend somewhere you wouldn’t normally go, cinema trip, shopping day in a different town - and do one a month for your 60th year. In my friendship group birthdays ending in 0 are celebrated throughout the year.

I totally understand, I was 60 in July, there is just my husband and my mum lives in a care home.
My husband bought me a nice m and s birthday cake, roses, nice chocs, a bottle of prosecco but after my birthday we went to look for a birthday present and it was actually our 30th wedding anniversary on my birthday. I was looking for a piece of jewelry but couldn't find anything but eventually settled for a silver ring from somewhere else which I think I chose as something to have.
We went out for a lovely lunch on the day even though I had hinted that I wanted to do a walk with alpacas.
My mum gave me a card but for the past 3 years, she has stopped saying take £50 out of her account, even though she always give me a list of what she wants for birthday and Christmas.
Now I know not to expect much and just get on with life.

I organise any celebrations myself
a meal
a holiday
its the only way i find
i am sorry you felt let down op

dont forget op you have a whole year of being 60
make the year special

@JoannCourcyIveGotThePowerNSoul

I couldn’t agree more,which is why I’ve hopefully shown my boys that thinking and preparing for Mums or anyone else’s birthday is fun,enjoyable and important.

So many threads on here sadden me. My Mum does a lot of the advice pp have suggested . No doubt she’d advise the same. But I don’t think it truly makes up for the person you love not finding an hr or two out of their day to plan and think of something.

I realise everyone is different x

How old is your DM?

My mother is 92. Her mobility is minimal as in she needs assistance to move from her, chair, bed, going to the bathroom etc but there is nothing wrong with her memory, she is as bright as a button.

After a disappointing birthday life has taught me to set the bar very high.

I make exactly the plans for my birthday I want and go at enjoying myself hard.
People can join in if they like - but they'd better make it good.

We went on a great holiday! Just me and DH. He’d had a party but we found some friends are flaky. I also had an Expensive meal out with family. Few remember me but I had an amazing holiday! Concentrate on what you can do and generate your own excitement. We went to the Arctic on a wildlife and experience cruise. Had a lot of fun.

I couldn’t agree more, life is too short not to have lovely birthdays, I’m worth it.

So many of my friends arrange nothing, play the martyr, say they don’t want a fuss etc etc and then get quietly upset or sulk on their birthday.

I agree with this. If you wanted something different to the norm then you need to communicate this!

It's my 50th soon and I will be quite open about what I do (and don't 🤣) want to happen.

It's rubbish if your adult children did not even send a card or gift though. Is this the first year they have not bothered, or is it a regular thing? If they had form then I would have said to DH - Please remind DC about my birthday as I find it hurtful when they forget.

They didn't even get you a gift OP? You literally got 3 cards for your 60th birthday and that's it? I'd say it's unbelievable but these threads pop up with depressing regularity on here. So many women seem to get no thought or consideration from their families.

I agree with this. The actual day has passed but perhaps you could suggest something you’d like during the year, and also treat yourself to things you’d like for your 60th year as it happens?

It does sound like you’ll have to do the suggesting and organising but maybe that’s fine? I am sorry you had a disappointing birthday on the day itself though, I think your family could have done more to make you feel special even small things like phone calls are part of that.

I agree with this.
You read it all the time on MN, where people are upset because other people didn't do what the OP wanted for their birthday (and sometimes other occasions) but they don't have any conversations with their dh / dc / whoever else is in their life to make it different the following year. It is like people are supposed to guess.

This is really sad. I’ve always saved hard for my families special birthdays even when money was tight. Even my friends I would treat extra special. happy birthday to you. Go treat yourself and f**k the lot of them

It sounds like your family is just used to not doing anything for you.
I think you have to lead with the expectation that they need to do something so they will step up. I find people just really don't pay attention to you doing it for other people as an example it's just becomes an expectation that they deserve it and you'll do it.

My 60th was spent in lockdown and we weren't allowed to go anywhere or do anything even locally, and I was alone it kind of sucked

Sorry to hear this op. My 50th my mother gave a card no gift. People are weird. I def dont make a fuss of others now lesson learnt. It did hurt though at the time.

I would divorce the lot of them that's what I'd do.
Its take mum/wife for granted syndrome.

Happy 60th Birthday 🎂🎁

You deserve better

are you recovering from an operation and posted yesterday about them doing nothing for you?

Many Happy Returns @Thevegetarianchef 💐💐💐💐
Hope you spoil yourself but I would have to tell the family that I was disappointed.
Cheers to you and a big, fat, fancy TV 👍👍👍

You can still celebrate your birthday.
Have a weekend away with dh and he can pay
Or have a weekend away without dh and he can pay