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Original poster

School being extra?

35 replies

Schooline · 15/10/2026 18:08

Daughter is in year 7. I usually pick her up and drop her to her secondary school as she’s very near my workplace. Today I got really delayed (never happened before and never will again) I phoned up school to ask about after school club and they said it finishes at 5. She then said will you be here to pick her up? I said yes. I felt she was a little intense (the receptionist).

5:01 she calls as I’m on route to pick up my daughter and has a go at me that she told me it finishes at 5 and I’m still not there. I told her it’s fine to let my daughter go and she has a mobile so I can tell her where I am and pick her up. The receptionist in a very aggressive and rude way said “no! I cannot do that MUM, she is in our duty of care”. I asked her what about children that travel home by themselves! She said that’s not the issue here it’s that I told her I’ll pick her up at 5 and I’m not here.

She then demanded I drive into school and come and speak to her and she will wait, I told her it’s no need at I will collect my daughter from her usual place of collection. I then I panicked at the entrance to school where she demanded in drive into was blocked so I quickly parked on a side street near by with permits (I know!) and ran in with my toddler to collect her. I had an earful from receptionist and her colleague and was there for around 5 minutes. Came out and got a ticket for £160.

I’m really annoyed with myself for phoning school as if I had not then my daughter would just have met me in our usual meet up spot and I wouldn’t have had to park up.

Was receptionist being extra? Seriously they are in secondary school

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/10/2026 18:11

Well you did sort of put her in their care by phoning and explaining your situation. Being late and getting a ticket were your fault and we’ve clearly only got your side of the story here. Next time just don’t phone

Arlanymor · 15/10/2026 18:13

Whether she was aggressive or not we only have your word for. But she was following safeguarding procedures. They looked after your kid when you couldn't be there.

MozzieFreeZone · 15/10/2026 18:16

What does ‘being extra’ mean?

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 15/10/2026 18:17

After school club in year 7? Was there no public transport she could have taken?

WhateverMate · 15/10/2026 18:18

Aren’t CPZ fines £70 if you pay within 7 days?

Either way if you’d agreed to pick her up at 5 then that was the arrangement.

All the rudeness and ‘demanding’ I often take with a pinch of salt on MN, so it doesn’t cloud my view.

Teeheehee1579 · 15/10/2026 18:19

Is the school in the middle of nowhere? I presume not as you got a ticket for parking in a side street. Next time get her to go and sit in a cafe - she’s in Y7, there is no need to phone the school. Mind you it does sound a bit odd so I wonder what the school’s side is.

Hankunamatata · 15/10/2026 18:21

Do you usually pick her up in person from after school club?

I think you massively confused situation by ringing the school.

Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 18:22

No school is in a town! She could take public transport but as my work is literally 2 minutes drive away she walks down and I park up outside a cafe and she gets in.

I don’t know what people are making out the receptionists side of story! I’ve been very clear I phoned up to ask what time the homework club / after school club closes there is nothing I’m hiding. I could just have left it but wanted to double check it was 5 and not 4:30

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Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 18:23

I did not ask the school to keep her. The school does not check on every pupil leaving the premises! She leaves everyday to meet me and never gets questioned

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user293948849167 · 15/10/2026 18:24

Meh receptionist sounds a bit rude but it’s your fault for not picking your child up on time really. Also no need to phone the school if your DD has a mobile on her, you just needed to tell your DD to wait somewhere near the school 5 mins

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/10/2026 18:24

Why’d you park in a side street then rather than outside the cafe? Was the toddler at work with you?

Muchtoomuchtodo · 15/10/2026 18:25

Year 7? Assuming you’re in the uk I’ve never known paid after school clubs in secondary school. Do they hand all kids over to parents / care givers? What age does it stop?!

Sartre · 15/10/2026 18:26

I don’t understand. School kept her in a club neither you nor her asked for?

MargaretThursday · 15/10/2026 18:30

You said you would be there to pick her up. So the reasonable expectation is that you will be there to pick her up - presumably they asked you because they have to note if you are picking up or they're releasing. They then have to do what that says.

If she phoned at 5:01, you were still driving, and had to park in a place you got a ticket, so if she hadn't phoned then you'd have parked more leisurely/further away. And then you had to get into school to pick her up. So that's going to be around 5:15 by the time you were there.

Spottysock · 15/10/2026 18:55

Could she not walk to your place of work?

Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 19:05

Spottysock · 15/10/2026 18:55

Could she not walk to your place of work?

That’s my point! School would not let her leave homework club till I collected her! That’s what I said in my OP that “kids travel alone by bus at that age” to the receptionist who refused to let my daughter go as she was in the duty of care of the school.

I’m okay with it now, I’ve spoken to people in real life and I agree it’s not worth the headspace and not worth souring the relationship with the office staff as my DD will be in the school for many years to come. I’m just going to let it go and learn from experience to never call the school again to check anything. There is a WhatsApp group I could have asked on what time homework club finishes.

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Laura9899 · 15/10/2026 19:17

Sounds like a lot if drama over nothing

redskyAtNigh · 15/10/2026 19:30

It does sound like you rang to check when after school club finished because you wanted to work out if you'd be there in time and were worried that you wouldn't be. Otherwise you've got no need to ring and your daughter just goes and meets you as planned. I understand why in this circumstance the school decided that it would be better to hang onto your daughter until you arrived. She's a newish Year 7 student and they were just looking out for her.

What's the relevance with needing to check the club finished at 5 and not 4.30? What would you have done if it had been 4.30?

Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 19:33

What would you have done if it had been 4.30?

I then would have picked her up first then my toddler but as I thought I had a bit longer I picked toddler up first but traffic was unusually busy

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redskyAtNigh · 15/10/2026 19:39

Schooline · 15/10/2026 19:33

What would you have done if it had been 4.30?

I then would have picked her up first then my toddler but as I thought I had a bit longer I picked toddler up first but traffic was unusually busy

Ah ok. So I assumed that you had rung the office because the school had a "no phones" rule and you couldn't ring your daughter. But it sounds like you would have had to ring her to tell you when you'd arrived, so that's not the case. That explains why the receptionist thought there was an issue -most parents would have just rung their child and sorted something out.

stichguru · 15/10/2026 19:47

You made it clear you wanted your child in after school club...not waiting for you by herself or independently travelling home and then when you couldn't make pick up, you decided you wanted her to go alone. I think that sends mixed messages to the school about whether you believed your child to be safe coming to meet you or not. To be honest, I'm surprised a secondary school even has an after school club. Round here, it's assumed that year 7 and up will just go home after school and be alone until a parent gets home.

seahorsessky · 15/10/2026 20:25

MozzieFreeZone · 15/10/2026 18:16

What does ‘being extra’ mean?

Over the top.
And no, she could potentially get in a lot of trouble if she doesn't follow the school procedures. And she might have had to get her own child/parent etc to an appointment after, and worried she was going to have to miss it.

BoarBrush · 15/10/2026 21:03

Surely you know by when homework club finishes? It's a month or so into the English school year is it not?

Year 11 is last year of primary/starting econdary isn't it?

This threads top of my list of things that didn't happen today.

Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 21:30

BoarBrush · 15/10/2026 21:03

Surely you know by when homework club finishes? It's a month or so into the English school year is it not?

Year 11 is last year of primary/starting econdary isn't it?

This threads top of my list of things that didn't happen today.

can you read? She’s in year 7!!! So FIRST year of secondary. Yeah it didn’t happen you caught me out you clever thing. Join a detective agency x

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Original poster
Schooline · 15/10/2026 21:34

I know how anonymous forums work and thank you for the input but it’s okay now. I’m over it. I was upset earlier hence posted this but in the scheme of things not a big deal. I spoke to my friend who is an assistant heafteacher and she laughed when I said would her school do that and she replied no but then it shows my DD’s school is on a different league. Year 7 onwards are expected to travel to and from school independently. She even said in year 6 kids start travelling by themselves. The school had no obligation to keep her there after club finished and as she had a phone so was easily reachable by me.

plus at no point did I say to keep her there I was enquiring about finishing time to plan my pick up for youngest. But as people have told me the school went over what is expected and that’s a good thing that they keeping DD safe but for future I will contact DD myself than ask school about end of club timings.

She’s not allowed to have phone switched on till she leaves the school building so I couldn’t contact her as they wouldn’t let her leave the school till they physically saw me, I know it’s overkill but at least I know they will keep her safe even though she walks the same road since September!

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