Overwhelmed but with decisions to make- does that make it easier or harder?

Work FT

The logical thing here which I think is what you are asking is that it makes sense to take the pension at 65 when its 10k higher.

In 2 years time when your kids are 18, increase your hours for as long as you can bear it to put a bit more in your pension.

In the meantime, it would be good to try and pay the mortgage off earlier so he should keep trying with jobs.

And ask what do you value most on how you all spend your time as that dictates the day to day budget. Nothing spent that is not adding value or essential.

You said that your wages covered council tax but anyhow...

£700 council tax / gas / electric
£600 food
£200 trains
£130 on phones
£20 WiFi
That all totals just £1650

That's still.£2350 to cover car tax, insurance, petrol, subscriptions, driving lessons and any other adhoc. If you are struggling on that then driving lessons & 3rd car are not essential... your kids could get a job and start paying themselves. It's nice to lay WHEN you can but if your DH isn't working and you aren't willing to downsize you need to make reasonable cutbacks.

Ok well I think you need to sit down with the last 3-6 months bank statements and figure out where your money is gone. What you are saying now currently doesn't stack up at all.

If your salary is covering the mortgage, what exactly do you need his 4k per month to cover? Groceries? Bills? Car finance? Where is it going?

First of all, sit down with your bank statements and credit card statements from the last 6 months and map out exactly where your money is going every month. I am completely astounded that you are frittering away 4k a month and have no idea where it is going! No wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed!

Your teens bf/gf live with you? Can you go up to ft if youre part time to support the teens but dh is now home more?
what support are they needing?

Maybe take the £100k lump sum and use it to live off while DH looks for a new job (rather than paying it into the mortgage). This would give you a couple of years to get the kids off to uni, after which you could look to downsize and clear the mortgage.

Ad a fellow former fritterer niw avid budgeter... if you can comfortably afford to fritter away and not know where £4k is going then I suspect you don't need £4k to live on, you've just overspent because you could. Nothing wrong with that but now is the time to tighten your belts.

1. Why have 3 cars?
2. Why spend so much on trains if you have 3 cars?
3. Are you wasting food? Over-eating? Buying branded when there are cheaper alternatives?
4. Do you actually use all of teh subscriptions services?
5. Are you on the best tariffs for gas and electric, phones etc?

You need to sit down and write down all of your outgoings - everything including any takeaways / coffee stops etc. once you have done this you can then review and stop any unnecessary expenses such as multiple TV streaming subscriptions and get your food bill under control. Once you have done this you will than know how much you actually need to live on. You will likely be very presently surprised how much less you actually need per month if you take control and stop frittering money away on “stuff”. I know it’s easy to spend on the invisible stuff ( take aways etc) when you have the money but in your current circumstances you need to take a detailed look and make sure you know where every penny is going.

That was advice to you.

it doesn’t apply to everybody.

In two years, you will no longer be restricted by where your kids go to school. Can you hang on long enough for that and meanwhile plan to move somewhere affordable with your £750k equity?

I know it can be very hard to contemplate moving away from the current home (big draughty house in a nice area sounds like my kind of place) but it seems like it will need to happen sooner or later.

Why are your expenses (after mortgage & council tax) so high that you'd need £4k a month? Have you a lot of debt?

Can you go full-time or take up an extra role?
Can you downsize to a house worth £650k so it gets rid of the mortgage? Might be in a further out area but your kids are old enough not to be really restricted by schools I would think?

I think the big issue is the outgoings. There must be something in here to cut back on because it's an awful lot if I'm honest.

I spoke to an IFA and he said taking the 25% tax free wasn’t a good idea. Keep it in there.

I wouldn’t have thought so.

presumably the £100k lump sum would be used to pay down the mortgage?

OP, have you run the numbers on doing that and then repaying the remaining £100k mortgage monthly out of income? How does that look?

It’s an expensive house, is it large? Are you planning to downsize at any point?

You need to figure out your incomings and outgoings if your husband takes his pension, uses lump sum to repay £100k, continues to work to supplement income, and then how it looks when you both finally retire. If it’s a large house with large running costs you would presumably factor in downsizing at some point.

That seems a lot-most couples don't make that between them, after tax. Is it very expensive where you live-could you consider moving, maybe?

How do you need 4k per month after paying for mortgage, council tax and utilities??
Surely it would be comfortable on half of that??

Would your dh invest his lump sum, or what would he do with it?
Is £25k enough to contribute to the household and have some spare?