Please or to access all these features

30 days only

How can I support my daughters more

4 replies

sharksnip · 22/09/2026 10:35

I have two adult daughters. Both have dc and are really in the trenches.

They are angry at me as I’m not supporting them in the way they need. To be honest I’m doing nothing at all apart from being a listening ear really. I used to help with childcare , babysitting etc but I have a degenerative condition that’s worsened since the beginning of the year and I’m navigating a life as a wheelchair user and trying to just get through the day myself. I have no carers and dh is working full time and caring for his parents who are frail.

my daughters are quite angry with me atm. They hardly visit (one has once since February and the other three times just quick visits as she was passing). I miss them, I miss my grandchildren. But I can’t physically help anymore.

are there any other ways I can help really, at the moment I’m just ringing regularly and checking in. I feel awful about the situation and I’ve really let them down

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
MyOliveViewer · 22/09/2026 17:15

Gosh you really haven’t let you down, they sound entitled, how are they supporting you?

If you did want to help Is there anyway you could help them financially if you wanted to such as pay for a club for each of the DGC.

SuperGinger · 22/09/2026 12:12

It sounds like they are being harsh, increasingly I'm thinking children should be independent and work things out for themselves. You cannot expect your parents to continue supporting you throughout life, but there is a lot of this nowadays. I get life is expensive and childcare is difficult but it isn't an excuse. Live your own life and I'm sorry about your degenerative health condition.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 22/09/2026 12:11

You absolutely haven't let them down. They have let you down for being so self-centred and unsupportive through what sounds like a life-changing health condition.

Clearly, you helped when you were able to. Now you are no longer able. And yes, that sucks - for all of you. But it is not your fault, obviously.

Being charitable, perhaps they are more angry with the situation than with you personally. But they have got this very, very wrong.

excelledyourself · 22/09/2026 12:07

If you can’t physically help, what is it they expect of you? What have they said?

Sounds to me like they’re being unreasonable.

I’m sorry to hear about your health.