Pet cremation

When our lovely girl cat was pts a couple of years ago the surgery were so kind - I had to be taken out a back door because I was unhinged. We had private cremation and the process for collecting her ashes sounds similar to what you describe, there’s a cabinet by the desk, and the ashes were passed to me by reception (it was actually a vet nurse who I spoke to) in a navy cardboard carrier like a gift bag. As it happened - purely coincidence - our vet appeared out of one of the consulting rooms and gave me a hug. I dropped a card for her in the surgery a week or so later, thanking her for all she did.

(Where I did get upset was when the crem rang me to say her ashes were ready and how did I want them. Possibly my own fault as I was at work and just about to teach a class, but I felt conned into paying ££ for an urn and wasn’t given the option of a cardboard tube.)

Your pet didn't suffer by a member of staff rummaging in a cubboard. I understand your grief but your pet is at peace.

I’ve had two pets cremated. Both times they got them out of a storage cupboard. The ashes were in a container, in a box and in a bag that does kind of look like a gift bag.

We got a card, a paw and a lock of fur.

I'm sorry for your loss and I know how devastating it is but I didn’t expect any more from the vets. My pet is currently still in a cupboard at home.

Sounds completely standard, have been through it a few times with different vet practises, and the 'rummaging' as you put it, of course they have to look through and check they have the correct ashes as it would be far more distressing to be given the wrong ashes, the last set of ashes I had returned came in a lovely paper carrier that went straight into recycling as I felt it couldn't be used for anything else, whilst you would have liked the option of a room sadly the cannot afford to just have an empty room waiting for times like this. It is devastating when you loose a pet as many don't understand the grief but be kind to yourself.

We had our pet cremated at a specific business set up for this. They couldn’t have been lovelier. We were treated with such kindness and told of a local walk we could do while it was done. We picked him up in a small scattering tube with a card that called him by name and referred to personal traits that we’d talked to them about. There was also a packet of forget me not seeds with the card to scatter at the same time. I think these things can be done so well or so badly. I’m sorry you had a bad experience.

I think that your understandable grief is clouding your judgment. The vet can't stop treating ill animals to give the room over to someone collecting ashes. My vet has 2 consulting rooms which are always busy. To take you into a room to hand over the ashes, someone who have to vacate the room meaning that a living pet who needs medical treatment doesn't get it. I am very sorry for your loss and how you feel but I can't really see what they did wrong or how it was disrespectful.

I'm afraid it's somewhat unreasonable to expect animals cremains to by default be treated the same as humans'. A vets office isn't a funeral home.
If you don't pay for a coffin or urn or whatever you think would be more dignified then the vet practice aren't going to be expected to supply it at their own expense.
They could have that side of things dealt with in a side room though. Rather than just in full view of reception.

My cat died last week. Still waiting for her ashes. They’ve always been very quick before.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

The alternative to a git bag is a carrier bag - I liked the plain paper gift bag my cat and dog were returned in.

A cupboard is a normal place to store something safely.

Rummaging - well yes, chances are your pet is one of many hundreds taken through the same process this month.

Passing the ashes to you isn't ceremonial, it's transactional. There isn't a fluffy way to do this. Why would you need a separate room to receive them?

I'm sorry for your loss, but you're being massively unreasonable in your expectations.

I was back in the same room with the same vet a month they put my cat to sleep because my dog needed her jabs - should I have asked to be seen in another room? It was slightly discombobulating but I've been back in again several times since - it's part of life.

I got mine In a bag that looked like a gift bag. The ashes were In a box. What’s the issue with that.

I am sorry for your loss. I have a lot of experience in this, and I always ask if you would allow your GP to arrange the funeral of a human member of your family. Veterinary care and private cremation are two very different things and very different skill sets. Always use a local independent pet crematorium if you are looking for care and dignity. Vets have contracts with the national companies and make huge profits as the middle man.

Me too. When my Sheltie was put to sleep in April I was treated so kindly. My DH and I were in tears as was our lovely vet.

The receptionist gave my husband the ashes in a bag which contained the scatterbox, when he called to collect her. He just wanted to go in, get the ashes and get out without crying. I was not brave enough to go in.

It ls so difficult to lose a much loved pet @Namechange26andabit please don't dwell on this.

@GreenFootstool our vet actually has a “special room” where euthanasia is generally done - there’s a back door that comes off near it so you can exit without having to walk back through reception if you need to. (I did!)

@Judystilldreamsofhorses yes, this is also a back room with an exit but it is used as a regular treatment room as well. It's a small locally owned practice with three treatment rooms in an old Victorian farmhouse, so they don't have a lot of options. L

Our.vet also has a specific room and backdoor for this, we had a dog that died at home, they let us in the backdoor and took the dog away, we didn't go for seperate cremation as we didn't want ashes back

This isn’t necessarily true. Our vet gives options, including a local service.

Yes it's true - I'm in the industry. Just because your independent vet gives options or recommends alternatives, it doesn't mean that the standard crematorium isn't either CPS or PCS. A small independent cannot compete with the big corporate crematorium who can afford to charge the vets a fraction of what they actually pay.

The key word is “necessarily”.

I could also have said “universally”, or “always”.

Vets can arrange through local providers even if they have a contract with a service. People just need to ask about options and your post makes it seem like that wouldn’t be an option.

I suspect this room may also be used for regular appointments (likewise a local surgery rather than a chain) but we’ve never been in it other than that one, and it’s definitely tucked away at the back. To me now it’s like the room I had a root canal in at the dentist - bad juju.

I made a valid point based on mine and my customer's experiences. You made a valid point based on yours. Why are you making this a point scoring argument?

I’m so sorry for your loss , it really is heartbreaking .
When I went to get my dogs ashes the receptionist recognised me so I didn’t actually have to speak , I kinda grabbed them and run straight out of the door biting my lip the whole time . I don’t remember getting a bag , maybe I did , whole experience was a blur.
You’re understandably very upset, but your pet was so loved & you did your absolute best for them , they knew that I’m sure ,
but I will reiterate what others have said that I don’t think vets did anything wrong , perhaps could have been a bit kinder but you’re feeling sensitive right now , lots of things will trigger you these coming weeks so be kind to yourself . Sending you a hug x

Our (small) vets practice rang to say they had the ashes, booked a slot for collection out of hours, gave us a card and said, "I'd pop her by a garden bench and raise a glass to her of an evening. She was one of the good ones."

Even if they say that to everyone, it was well done.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I've never had a pet cremated via the vet, because it was insanely expensive and much cheaper to go directly to the pet crematorium.

But when dropping off they placed the pets in a lovely room, for you to say goodbye, a book to write in if you wanted to leave a message.
If you had an individual cremation I got the ashes back a week later, again very thoughtful.
If there was a group cremation they had a memorial garden where the ashes would be scattered.

When I enquired via the vets they were very heartless and I totally could have imagined it going your way. I'm pretty sure it was so bad I complained, but it was a while ago now.

I'm a vet nurse and i agree with everything this poster says, our protocol is very similar.
I am really sorry you feel this way , speaking for myself and i know for my team too we really do have a lot of empathy in these circumstances.
We hand over pets ashes in our reception area too , they are given to the owner in a deliberately thoughtful gentle manner , if the owner is particularly upset we will offer to carry them to the owners car for them or plan a collection time that may be quieter.
In a busy practice such as the one i work in we often have no spare room to call the owner into sadly.
The 'gift' bag you describe is likely to have been supplied by the pet cremation company so you could contact them with your feedback.
Sometimes an inexperienced member of staff who hasn't had much experience in this aspect of the job may not get things right but as a whole in our field we all do our best for the families collecting their beloved pet ashes.
Perhaps you could arrange to speak to the practice manager or senior vet or nurse who may be able to offer you some reassurance.

A paw @lookatmylife? One of his/her actual paws preserved by taxidermy?
If so, was it a comfort or distressing?

We only had one pet cremated, the rest are buried in our garden, and we had a little urn with his name and dates on it😪