Family member and drug use

Please find a narc anon support group. The key thing you need to know is that addicts will lie and lie and lie and manipulate until you are exhausted and spent. You will never get them to admit or take responsibility until they are ready.

Cutting off parental support will accelerate this.

To weigh their bag to check how many G is in the bag..they could be buying eighths or quarter ounce at a time..that's an expensive past time plus it will wreck their mental health.

I agree with this @Itsgettinghotinere You can't help the addict. NSPCC might have advice on how to help the kids. And if you live hours away, things are probably very much worse than what you've seen would suggest (though scales doesn't mean dealing, necessarily).

I wouldn't worry too much about the job. And I can understand why you don't want to tell the parents. But I think the kids need to be your focus and I think you might need to risk the parents finding out, if you're going to help the kids.

www.famanon.org.uk is a 12 step programme for families or friends when there is a suspected drug problem. They have a helpline, literature & UK wide meetings.
I turned to them, we had drug addiction in our family. I had to learn not to enable, set boundaries, not Accept the Unacceptable etc.
But the priority has to be the children, you can safeguard them by contacting their school, the NSPCC or social services.

OP, check out whatever the drug equivalent of al-anon is. You didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it.

For the children, speak to the NSPCC helpline for advice, if you have concerns Whatever you are seeing, is likely sadly to be the tip of the iceberg.

If you won’t tell the parents the reality of what is going on, then you can’t accomplish anything.

You can and should report to social services. Being a child living with an addict, even a functional addict, is hell.

To weigh their dose out. Or make sure they are getting the amount they pay for.

Having had an addict in the family, there's only one way, confront and then deal with the answer and sadly they have to want help, help that often isn't there of you'llfind impossible to give. Issue immediately apparent is neglect of the children, whether intentional or not, along side what happens when they can no longer 'afford' drugs, or their health is impacted by them. No formula for help, how I wish there was and we, as a family, tried A - Z, in the end deteriorating health meant alcohol became the end drug of choice and an early death followed.

To make sure their dealer isn't ripping them off? It happens.

An addict won't get clean unless they want to get clean.

The fact they are weighing it points to using a lot . Which is probably why they are short of money . At this rate it is only a matter of time before it affects their work . What would they do if they lost their job? And they could also loose their kids if they are using drugs around them . Never mind loosing their liberty as they could be jailed .
I would point this out to them , that you are now aware of their problem. Ask them are they willing to take measures to address this or you might have to get authority involved because if the kids . It might be a wake up call , it might be ignored , but at least they are on notice now.

I do have quite a bit of experience with severe addiction yeah.
Obviously if there's neglect then SS should be involved. There's a chance you mentioning that and saying you're concerned about the kids could be the thing that makes them try to change. It's different for everyone.

The scale would be used for them to weigh their drugs. Obviously dealers use them but most regular users do as well so it doesn't necessarily mean they're selling it. But they might be.

They will deny it even if you have evidence. They won’t stop until they are ready to, and unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. You can make sure the rest of the family are aware so as not to enable them, and be up front with them and tell them that if they don’t make any efforts to stop you will be reporting them to social services.

You could also signpost them to CGL or other organisations that offer recovery support.

You can’t deal with the 2 things separately. Just go and see them and say “I’m worried about your cocaine use”. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

How much does the cocaine cost? Could be anything from £10 a day to £300 a day - depends on too many factors but from what you're describing, it is far too much.

Most habitual cocaine users will be taking something else as well - alcohol is a common one.

A problem with cocaine is that the user has no idea what it's cut with - it could be baking soda, sugar, flour or boric acid, paracetamol, or a synthetic opiate with deadly effects (fentanyl or a nitazine derivative) or any number of emerging chemicals.

https://wedinos.wales/sample/?sample-filter-keyword=Cocaine

There's no point looking for proof. If the person doesn't want to quit and they think denying they are using will enable them to continue then they'll just lie. And they won't stop just because somebody tells them to.
You need to approach it with concern, rather than judgement. If they don't feel like they can trust you they are less likely to take your help.

Why not ask the school for advice then? If you are happy for your family member to know you've spoken to school, ask the school if they will be speaking to the parent, if so, you could follow on from that conversation.
If they won't tell you or say it goes straight to social services then either wait till that has happened (if you think the family member would tell you about social services involvement) or also bringing up the effect on children would possibly be a good opener (I don't know anything about drug recovery, only about schools/safeguarding and that only from concerns when my DS who has SEN couldn't explain an injury - but having social workers turn up on your doorstep is an unforgettable moment).

You don't need proof to tell school you have concerns. If they already have concerns too you may help them to increase their level of concern.