My husband is screen addicted and it affects his mood, how he parents, our life. And I don’t know what to do about it

Spend more time on things you enjoy either with or without the kids.

Why can't you divorce? You'll probably get enough benefits to get by. I wouldn't put up with this.

Ask him why he married and had children when all he's interested in is his phone.

Well if you won’t leave him, you will have to learn to live with it 🤷‍♀️

Well as he is firmly in denial and you can’t leave then all you can do it keep going as you are. You have a life which is great. Let him support you financially and just live your own life. There’s nothing else you can do

It's an addiction like any other. If it was alcohol, what would be different?
I'm sorry you're in a tough financial situation, looks like there's no easy solution (you can stay or you can divorce and neither option is easy. You have to choose the less bad)

It’s not that he doesn’t see his addiction, it’s that he doesn’t want to do anything about it and you can’t make him. If you can’t leave then you’ll have to make your life around him as best as you can.

Turn the WiFi off and/or change the password so he’s disconnected - he’ll hopefully run out of data.

Take the phone when he’s asleep and lock it away. People will say it’s controlling, he’ll say it’s controlling, but he needs intervention, it’s ruining more than his own life.

In all seriousness if he’s that addicted - and it sounds like he is - then he needs professional help. The algorithms will just feed more and more of what he watches and he’ll get more addicted. Very little is wholesome.

My ex-h was similarly addicted to his phone. You say divorce is not an option but I also had, and still have, a chronic health condition and disability. With minimal child maintenance, UC including housing element, a part time job and lower rate PIP the kids and I managed and managed quite well. I honestly never thought we would. Life has been infinitely better. And TBF, the ex stepped up and properly parented when he had them. I got to rest a lot more than if we’d stayed married - it’s amazing how much mess and additional work around the house an extra, disinterested adult made for me - once it was just me and the kids it was far easier.

Ask if you can do a challenge together? Two weeks without phones?

When my husband got unwell the TV would give him headaches so we started doing other things. Now I only watch TV when I have a bath… I stopped caring about watching it.

Then don’t have a relationship with him. Arrange your life accordingly.

You’ve told him how much this upsets you (and rightly so) and how it’s having such a negative effect on the family as a whole and he doesn’t care. You either put up and shut up or leave….i know which id do. This is no way to live and the example is setting your children is really scary.

Its really sad. It’s like living with a vacant robot. Someone who’s there but really they aren’t. Where’s the connection, where’s the presence, where’s the bonding.

My ex was like this to the point of having a nice walk together with them on their phone every 2 minutes.
I ended it. It drove me mad and made me feel invisible in the relationship.

Divorce is financially impossible.

It's never financially impossible, just financially uncomfortable.

suppose there is some irony in that you are posting this on a screen rather than giving him an ultimatum irl

I am married to a work addict. I didn’t know he was a work addict when I married him.

Over the seven years we’ve been married work has infiltrated every area of our lives. He sits hunched over spreadsheets on Saturday evenings, Sunday mornings, bank holidays.

It is bearable when he’s in the office. When he is in front of us working but not seeing us it leaves you with a strange discombobulating sensation. The children’s behaviour becomes worse because they want his attention but are never going to get it, then I need to manage them and feel increasingly more het up and annoyed.

I wish I had answers for you @Roseyposey10 but I am in a similar boat.

It’s very difficult. It’s not just your life he is affecting. He’s not emotionally available to his kids, is a terrible role model and where do you even begin getting them to limit screens? - they’ll just say ‘but dad does it’. And if you separate, they’ll be with him some of the time without you to try to protect them from this!

You need to sit him down and have a serious discussion where you don’t let up until he listens and makes a concrete commitment to reduce his phone use. Make him see how awful it is for the kids and for your relationship. See if together you can come up with a workable plan to wean him
down to something that’s more acceptable. You might start with something like no phones at mealtimes or in the hour before the children’s bedtimes. Then gradually work up to something like no more than half hour max when the children are around and awake. And a few times a week you and he will have some couple time in the evening with no phones. It might help
to build in times when it might be easier for him to put it down and focus on family time- weekly family movie or game night for example.
Review how it’s going after three months. Then it’s time to figure out what happens next for your relationship. It might be quite sobering for him to hear that you don’t trust him to parent his own children on his own.

So you are using him for his money if you cant afford to leave, do you work

i like to call this stuff out, with the kids and with family.

So, “isn’t it a shame that dad is just sat on his boring phone and not having fun with us?” Or “isn’t it a shame that dad wants to play on his phone instead of xyz” Because ultimately he’s choosing his phone over his family and that’s pitiful. Don’t let the kids engage over his shoulder at breakfast. Send him to eat elsewhere if he can’t be present. Cut it from their lives, if you can’t from his. And if that includes cutting him out, that’s his call.

Change the WiFi code... regularly.

Divorce and tell him he can have kids and house. Find yourself some help from family/friends/council/Social Services. Eventually, you'll have somewhere to live and some benefits to start your life again. You can visit kids or kids can visit you. He'll surely step up and start looking after kids and himself, and have more respect for you.