What time would you leave a family BBQ with primary-aged children?

If I was hoping everyone would be gone by 7 then I’d probably invite guests for midday so it was a lunch event.

If you don’t invite until 3-4 pm as you have, they are more likely to still be there early evening, other things to consider would be how much alcohol was there, within our family if we were expecting a late one there’s always lots of alcohol out to last the night, where if I only wanted to host a short visit there would be much less.

It would also depend on who was coming, you say family BBQ so i imagine it’s either your family or your in-laws which I know for me would make a big difference on how long I would want to host, surely you’ve had/been to your own family BBQ’s before so would have an idea how they usually pan out?
If it’s in-laws and you don’t want them to over stay then definitely buy less drink or start offering coffee/tea after you’ve eaten and if you invite for a 12:00 lunch then people will be hungry later and you’re not expected to include them in your dinner plans so I’d expect them to go home and make dinner, if I was expecting them to stay late I’d have provided more food/spread for later on when people got hungry so it’s just a case of read the room.

Would go off the kids. I would pack jammies and toothbrushes and ask host if the kids can shower if it gets late and then just carry them into bed if they fall asleep in the car home

I’d estimate about 9pm.

I’d read the room and base leaving on how tired the kids seemed and their behaviour - hosts’ kids included. If it seemed like everything was getting a bit fraught / winding down earlier I’d say oh shall we get out of your hair and let you do bedtime? Or if everyone was having a wild time and happy then maybe we’d stay later, it being a Saturday and school hols!

I have a toddler and hang out like this with my toddler parent friends and we’ve continued having a drink and chat while sticking them in the bath together before! Equally I have some who are much stricter on bedtime and I’d not expect to stay past 8pm absolute latest.

Saturday night . No school tomorrow. Kids all getting along and roughly same age . No set time . If you want to put your kids to bed when you have guests there then you need to tell them to leave. They won’t be mind readers ..

I have a lot of friends and host regularly at my house. I have many times said “sorry friends I need to go to bed” when it gets too late, with a smile and not aggressive . Friends have defs invited me back at their house and have come again to mine. So defs possible to do in a polite way.

If the host has something on the next day that necessitates calling it a night at a certain time, they need to use their words and express that ‘we’ve got an early start tomorrow as need to be at xx by 10am and it’s a few hours drive, do we are going to need to wrap it up at 9pm tonight folks’. What’s so hard about that. We do that with friends when needed, would have zero hesitation doing it with family.

Probably about 9.

9ish maybe if no school the next day

Yes this, things happen when they happen kids have a late night life moves on

No clue what time I’d leave just when the vibe was right to leave- probs be having a drink and a laugh kids stay up later… my friends are relaxed people leave when they leave it’s a mutual fun night not organised fun…

I'd make sure the kids were entertained, act accordingly, enjoy yourselves and leave when you need to or if you're hosts start winding down.

9pm latest. I can handle a 10pm bedtime during holidays for my kids but I’m not having them up til
Midnight or the next day will be absolute murder

I’d leave by 7ish but run of steam early

Ask the host what time they want you out by. If they do that neurotypical "polite" preference falsification thing where they claim not to mind, you can follow up with "you will want to bathe your children prior to bedtime, surely you don't want guests around for that?"

If my hosts wanted us to leave by a certain time, I'd expect them to tell me - either before, or when we were there. No mention of an end time means it's open.

I'd be helping clear up once we'd finished eating. If they wanted to get kids to bed at the normal time I'd rave when they started doing that, but I'd appreciate a heads up.

When I've had similar events, I've said "it won't be a late one though, big day for the kids on Sunday" or such.

This.

If it's not a school night and we didn't have big plans the following day, I'd be pretty flexible about it.

I agree.

Just play it by ear.

Kids are on school holidays now anyway.

7.30pm

If you are the host - just put the kids to bed when they are tired. It doesn't matter for one night if they are up later than 10pm and ok. Otherwise your guests stay and wait for you to come down. Guessing 20 mins max - don't worry about baths etc just PJs on and bed.

Then continue with your guests 🙂

I consider the host yes but I consider them to make it obvious or at least give strong hints they want me to go.

Some people leave tidying for the next day and are glad of the company.
Some people want everyone gone to tidy up.

If its a 'when the guests leave' then im assuming ill leave when me and the kids are ready to - or im given a strong hint. A yawn from the host, they syart tidying away or frankly tell me to go home!!

But to answer your question im usually gone by about 8/9pm with my DS as thats when he starts running out of steam and wants his own toys and bed

I’d leave at 7pm

@Jetsun3456 are you the host or the guest?

“Well it’s been so lovely having you over but we need to start clearing up and getting the kids to bed now”…

There are so many ways to tell people to bugger off home.

As a guest - When the hosts start looking tired/clearing up or mine are acting up/overtired (not so relevant now as both old enough to stay up later and are no trouble if having a good time,doesn't 'ruin' bed time). Or if in doubt,would just ask!

As a host - Would never ask anyone to leave. I would def continue to get my kids to bed if things overran and was really late,but wouldn't do any pointed sighing or stares.I'd just come back and enjoy after. Anyone with kids, there is always somewhere for them 2 doze so parents can chill too. For my family and close friends, if I was knackered/didn't feel well etc.I would just say 'sorry,am off now' and leave them to enjoy (unless I am entertaining solo!)

If you think they are going to outstay their welcome, set an end time in advance. Eg ‘come at 3 so we can spend time with you. We’ll eat at 5 and then finish up by 7/&/whatever so we can get the kids to bed and cleared up as we have a busy day on Sunday’