Topics of conversation to get through boring evening with DHs colleagues wives

I have done a lot of these boring things over the years - in desperation with one particular group I started bringing “dinner party games” along with me. If you google there are lots you can buy - some of them are physical games but a lot more you can just download the rules/lists of questions and then you can all play that.

The game may trigger more conversations -
I once found out (through playing a game about UK number 1 songs, where the Beatles came up) that a very shy/quiet woman also grew up in Liverpool, and that filled the rest of the evening with chatting about Liverpool.

Even if it doesn’t lead to more chat it may make the evening more bearable to have a game and some structure.

Some people just don't gel, no matter how hard you try you just can't get an interesting conversation going.
I'd either try to get out of these invitations, or suggest a game like a PP said. Trivial Pursuit or a card game or similar.

They've probably caught onto your "I work in AI, No-one gets what I do" schtick and realise that you think you're considerably more amazing than they are.

I am a card-carrying woman. I have never felt the need to confine my conversation to talking about family and friends. Or that politics, climate change and favourite films were my only other options!

But why do your DH's male colleagues feel the need to drag their bored wives who don't get along to get togethers when they could clearly have a perfectly nice time themselves? I mean, the other wives are presumably saying exactly the same thing about wanting to shoot themselves with boredom!

It makes for a long evening - fine if you are just chatting for 10 to 15 minutes at a party then small talk is great. But for a whole evening - you need something in common.

I would ask them all the story of how they met and married their husbands, if you don't already know. About their favourite holidays and then their first memory of a childhood holiday. Then I'd probably start slagging off DHs work, that's often something people can get on board with.

Have you explained to your dh that these evenings are painful and you hate them and it sounds like the other wives hate them and there is absolutely no reason for you to all be there sat in awkward silence for several hours whilst the blokes bore on about Barry from accounts? Why would it increase the enjoyment of the husbands to have the wives there when you don’t get on and none of you want to? I genuinely don’t understand why anyone is subjected to this

Women talk about their family , friends, Quite intimately -so and sos mothers died, my DGS is autistic , DD has dropped out of uni -you don’t want to discuss these things with near strangers. And certainly don’t want their advice.
They also can discuss climate change, politics, but you are on dodgy ground there.

Favoutite movies, musicals, festivals might be Good topics, but men can talk for half an hour on The merits of one car over another /one footballer over snother/ it’s just easier for men

I'd really lean into the awkwardness and make sure I was never invited again:

"Shall we all hold hands and see how long we can keep holding hands before it just feels too weird?"

"If you cloned yourself and then had sex with the clone, is that incest or just masturbation?"

"Let's see whose husband has the biggest penis - but you have to be honest about the length!"

"Would you rather all three of us went on a camping trip to Aleppo, or share a bed with Donald Trump for a night?"

Etc, etc...

It sparks quite a lot of other convos too....

What job? Did you get it? Did you have glasses? Was everyone looking or ignoring it? Etc!

And then where you were when other world news things happened could be a follow on. Diana? 9/11....

You have a DH problem, it’s incredibly rude and outdated for the men to leave the women out and just congregate together.

That's a good idea. (I was on a bridge in London on the way to an interview)

Why on earth can't the men just meet up by themselves?

Don’t go.

If you are not from the UK originally, personally I would be interested in your country of birth.

That sounds horribly virtue signalling, but I don't mean it that way.

Holidays
Cars - what do they think of electric cars
Theatre - do they like going ?
Fave Bands - do they see live bands, or even watch them on tv?

I would steer clear of talking work - i don't mind talking about it to ppl in my line of work but most others just don't get it.

What about the solar eclipse? And where they were for the last one?

Oh, people like that- who answer in monosyllables- are very tough.
Personally, I think it's fine to do something social for the sake of your spouse twice a year. Not LTB territory!

I’d be worried OP! What if one of the others asks “seen any good threads on mumsnet recently?” Then you’ve been rumbled 🤣

And there are specific conversation-starter games out there.

I was going to suggest exactly this. Suggest the ladies (or all of you) play cards/a game. Conversation often flows better when you take the pressure off and have something to fill in the gaps.

By who?

People you have nothing in common with and don't like?
Who cares?

Maybe you're starting to come down with something....

An outside the box idea, but could some kind of game work? Trivial Pursuit or something like that?

I usually find discussion about how difficult/fulfilling marriage is in later life is a good one.