Keeping pregnancy from toddler but nieces and nephews have been told

You're over thinking

You're not keeping anything from your toddler - but if you are worried just tell her.

There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to tell her even if her cousins know. Is she likely to see them and are they likely to say anything to her in a way she can understand? If so maybe it would be better to tell her yourselves before she sees them, but otherwise I understand wanting to wait.

Our toddler is 2.5 and we mentioned briefly that there was a baby in mummy’s tummy after the 12 weeks scan and after the 20 week that it was a little sister. I know a year older probably makes a different but we have keep it super light so he knows it’s happening but that it’s. It wasn’t a big announcement for him but a matter of fact thing.

We also had a miscarriage in between so didn’t tell him too early.

if you are worried just mention it as a thing but no big announcement

The 8 year old is definitely old enough to not mention it to your daughter if you ask them. My 4 year old would be able to, but obviously that age they can be loose cannons! I’d just explain the situation to the parents and then if they don’t bring it up or make a big deal then the kids will probably follow suit.

It’s possible that the 4 year old has already forgotten or your 3.5 year old wouldn’t register what they were being told anyway!

Given the update about the holiday, I would be inclined to tell DD. She’s bound to hear something (especially with DH being such a blabbermouth) 😊

Many congratulations.

4 year old might have forgotten already or might mention it.

who do you think is as thoughtless? Your partner or SIL and Bil?

it’s unlikely people will remember not to mention it around your toddler to be honest

We had exactly this - my 4 year old didn’t know but my SIL told her 8 year old. I think 8 is old enough to understand not to say anything, but 4 is too little to ask to keep a secret. We also only saw them once before we told our daughter, as they’re not local to us. I think I’d tell your daughter before the holiday as I think she’ll find out from the 4 year old.

I'm surprised you decided to share the news with other family at 12 weeks if you're not planning to tell your DD till 20 weeks! I wouldn't rely on a 4 and even an 8 year old not saying anything to be honest, and it wouldn't be fair to blame them if they do blurt something out. Young children are not good at keeping secrets! I would tell your DD before the holiday - keep it light and just say mummy's got a baby in her tummy. She'll be busy having fun on holiday with her cousins so she'll have plenty of distractions and probably won't focus too much on the baby news.

I'm pregnant after 2 miscarriages and was also reluctant to tell DS whos 3.5 years old. I'd rather have kept it a secret longer but my husband nearly blabbed it several times by accident plus several family and friends knew by then and I wanted to be in control of how my son heard the news. In your position I'd tell your DD, sounds very likely that someone will let it slip.

At 3.5 my son has a great understanding that the baby isn't coming until November. He hasn't been impatient or anything, it's just giving him plenty of time to get used to the idea. It's also been useful him knowing to not jump on my belly and that I'm a bit slower (23 weeks now). We told him around 12 weeks but I was showing shortly after so dont think I could have hidden it until 20 weeks.

I’m late 30’s. We had to tell my 4 and 2 year old at 7 weeks as we have no childcare, baby wasn’t planned so we had to have a private scan before we went on holiday to check everything was okay and they were in the room with us. I was a little worried them knowing in case anything went wrong but I realised as long as we didn’t make a big deal of it initially, if the worst was to happen then they’re so young that they probably wouldn’t actually dwell too much on it if we said the baby was too poorly or something. Luckily everything was fine and we started talking about it a lot more after the 12 week scan and more so after 20 weeks!

Baby is now here and very loved by her older siblings ❤️

Thank you 😊 it's definitely tricky after a loss. I actually had a scare shortly after we told him which made me regret it a bit. I've also told other people very gradually this time around, no big announcements.

I'm sure my son was psychic about it. He was randomly talking about babies and what to name them and things before we'd even told him.

This book is lovely for telling them btw, we told my son and then read this to him :)
amzn.eu/d/094PJKaA