My husband has a PhD in history but the academic job market is dire so he no longer works in the field. His PhD was published as a book and he still publishes occasional journal articles or book chapters, but I guess it’s a hobby at this point. I am very proud of him.
That said, I’m a bit peeved that I’m currently on maternity leave with our second baby, and he’s taken a week of annual leave to work on a book chapter. He’s still out of the house all day, just at the library instead of his office.
I haven’t raised it with him as I do want to support him, but is it fair that I think his annual leave should involve being on hand for his family, and giving me some alone time too? Or at least that he shouldn’t make unilateral decisions about how to take it?
All the annual leave I accrue this year is being added to the end of my ML so I will spend mine doing childcare.
Some caveats that might make me the unreasonable one:
- We’re not planning any holidays this year so it’s not like it takes away from our ability to do that.
- Our baby is pretty easy and I’m generally not having a hard time on ML. Would just be nice to have some days where I wake up and know someone else is responsible for him!
- I don’t have an equivalent hobby or passion that takes that kind of focused time. Pre- children when I had random days off I would go to galleries/shows/ out to lunch/ to the gym, so I would probably just do that.