Support needed for vulnerable 17-year-old possibly trying to get pregnant

I was going to say this. ‘Insist’ on implant. I realise that might be hard. But I think it’s necessary.

What do you want CAMHS and the SW to actually do?

You can acknowledge someones MH and vulnerability til the cows come home, it doesnt change that its her choice

Unless she needs to be subject to MHA assessment and then detained due to her MH, it is her choice.

Its dreadful and frightening for you but telling someone not to get pregnant is all you can do.

Since her mother doesn't want to have to be a parent all over again it's even more important that it gets dinned into her that she needs to be more responsible. If this child is that vulnerable it would be helpful before SS need to get involved after the event.

Does she actually have any experience with young babies? Do you have any understanding relatives/friends/neighbours with a colicky baby that you coud visit, with your DD, one evening? Half an hour of listening to the baby screaming might put her off.

The OP has spent her entire life trying tp help her DD. She doesn't have to quit her job to raise a grandbaby.

OK, that does make it incredibly difficult for you to do anything practical to stop her.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. You can tell how much you love and care for your daughter through your posts, and it must be impossibly hard not to be able to get help from professionals when you know how vulnerable she is.

In your shoes I would write her a letter telling her that you love her and will always be there if she wants to talk. Then I'd look into therapy for yourself. You are going through a lot and a therapist might be able to help you find a way to cope with feeling powerless to help her. It might also be helpful to sit down with your husband and chat through what help you're will to provide if she does become pregnant.

I really hope everything works out for you and your family and this is all just a distant memory one day

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I would be devastated. I’m afraid there is nothing you can do. I’d let go completely. I’d buy a big box of condoms and place them opened in her room. It’s her choice to use them but at least she has access to them without having to ask.
if she gets pregnant you could take her to the council house and explain she can no longer live with you, take her and her suitcase and they will give her temporary accommodation. Or she can move in with her boyfriend’s family and hope for the best. You’ll have to accept that she is viewed as an adult now and you need to step back and watch her make her mistakes.

God you sound great so you are happy for your grandchild to.go into the care system

You can’t just have someone held.

Mental health help is incredibly poor in this country, they wait until the crisis is really bad before they intervene. The threshold to be sectioned is extremely high. People turn up to hospital in absolutely dire mental states begging to be admitted and get sent home with a leaflet.

Exactly what i said as she will get pregnant and either you will end up looking after the child or it will be adopted and then she will get pregnant again,.no you cant lock her in your house but just tell her she agrees to the implant or she finds somewhere else to live, your home your rules

The best thing would be the implant in her arm, yes speak to the boys parents, i would say to her that if she gets pregnant she cant live with you she will have to leave immediately get a job and live in a hostel, i also wouldnt allow the boy in.your house,.and i would also say that if she gets pregnant shes on her own, she probably thinks getting pregnant means he will stay with her and she will be given a lovely home, i think you need to be brutal with her and put the fear of god into her,.

If there's any chance she's trying to get pregnant in order to baby trap her partner, she needs to know that isn't how to secure a healthy relationship. I knew someone that was in a similar situation and everything fell apart quite quickly

I’d rather break the trust than be lumbered with another baby to look after in my 50s.

Vulnerable in what way?

My God OP, you have the patience of a saint - I don't know how you do it, I really don't - I'm so very sorry that you are in this situation - it must be so hard.

In your position, I'd pack up all your daughter's belongings and deliver them to the boyfriend's house and inform his mother, through the letterbox if need be, that you now regard it as your daughter's main residence. I'd tell your daughter not to bother coming home again and firmly tell the CAHMs team, the school and your daughter's health care professionals that you are now washing your hands of her and, as she is 17, that they can take full responsibility for whatever happens next.

I'd then go on a lovely holiday with my DH, preferably to somewhere that I couldn't be contacted and stay away for as long as I could afford. You have done everything you possibly can with zero help from the people who are trained and paid to treat and support those with mental health issues. You must now prioritize your own sanity and physical health. Some burdens are just too heavy to carry, but when you finally put them down, someone else will pick them up. But sadly, you have to go nuclear before the NHS and other agencies start doing their jobs. Good luck and big hugs.

No. OP doesn’t want to raise the baby, she wants to keep her job, and would rather her daughter leave home if she does get pregnant.

Sounds like a nightmare for the OP.

That’s why I suggested a letter, but I see later you said it would be intercepted. Presumably because your daughter would recognise your handwriting? Can you not type the envelope? I appreciate you are saying the boy’s mother isn’t interested, but if you could help her see SHE is the one who might end up holding the baby, she might be more inclined to listen.

So sorry you've got all this to deal with - it sounds so hard.
Are the pregnancy tests that you've found used? And negative, I presume.