Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

30 days only

Is choosing not to have children really still seen as unusual?

77 replies

PinkIguana · 21/07/2026 20:51

I am 40, married since I was 28, and we made the decision not to have children several years ago.

I am facing having a cancer risk-reducing hysterectomy in the next year or so and have had appointments with three various HCPs to discuss it. All three have asked whether I have children, whether I am planning on having them, and two out of the three have seemed very surprised when I answered no to both questions. The first consultant I saw reiterated three times about loss of fertility after a hysterectomy despite me saying it wasn'ta consideration each time, and the second said 'what, never?!' In disbelief.

I understand that they need to be sure that I don't want children before an irreversible operation (although at 40 years old I think my chances of conceiving are fairly low anyway) but it's the way both of them seemed completely taken aback by my answers, and made me feel like there's something wrong with me for not wanting children. I also told a friend about the hysterectomy and she had a similar reaction.

Is it really so strange, in 2026, to not want children? Genuinely curious!

OP posts:
Beachbeach · 21/07/2026 21:02

YANBU it’s way more common these days, people should be used to it

SpottyAlpaca · 21/07/2026 20:59

I’m childfree by choice and it’s obviously not the norm. We are in the minority & should expect to be treated as such. I don’t have a problem with that and, anyway, who wants to be normal & follow the herd? I quite like being the odd one out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread