Page 2 | What would you think…..

Awkwardisfunny · 03/10/2026 19:02

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 17:15

If a secondary school principal said (in a principal talk to parents at an open day event) that if you and your children are not prepared to co-operate with the school’s policies and behaviour expectations that you shouldn’t apply to the school?

Well yes. Read the contract before you sign up to anything!

Awkwardisfunny · 03/10/2026 19:09

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/10/2026 18:50

@ItsCloudyToday It’s designed to put off Sen and dc who cannot stick to rigid rules. It’s designed to put off anxious dc. It’s designed to attract compliant dc and parents who are fairly hard line on discipline themselves. The sort who won’t rock any boats by daring to have an opinion. My dc would not have thrived, and I’d think this head was 100% putting off Sen dc as they are too much trouble. So not inclusive. Teachers could be disciplinarians too.

By SEN, do you mean misbehaving children? Not everyone with SEN misbehaves. And sometimes, a child with SEN does misbehave but tries to blame it on their SEN.

It's a bold assumption from one post to assume this head teacher was being discriminatory towards those with SEN.

I know plenty of parents and young people without SEN who flout school rules and don't back up teachers, causing massive inconsistencies and wasted time dealing with them. Why didn't you assume that was who they were referring to?

concertinacornflake · 03/10/2026 19:09

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 17:42

What input could the community have about the school’s behaviour policy?

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Who is the school for? The community.
It's not the head's private enterprise.

The community can express their views if they hold them. The head can deal with it how he chooses. The governors and Ofsted can deal with the head.

AhBiscuits · 03/10/2026 19:15

I've been to three open days in the last week and two of them said exactly this. Pretty normal I'd say.

splendidgirl · 03/10/2026 19:19

Were you at an open day where the head was a Mr M ?

concertinacornflake · 03/10/2026 19:20

AhBiscuits · 03/10/2026 19:15

I've been to three open days in the last week and two of them said exactly this. Pretty normal I'd say.

Yes they say it, they always have, but it is meaningless.
It doesn't stop people complaining!

Original poster

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 19:33

splendidgirl · 03/10/2026 19:19

Were you at an open day where the head was a Mr M ?

Yes!

OP posts:

Original poster

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 19:35

concertinacornflake · 03/10/2026 19:09

Who is the school for? The community.
It's not the head's private enterprise.

The community can express their views if they hold them. The head can deal with it how he chooses. The governors and Ofsted can deal with the head.

Show quote history

It’s part of an Academy Trust so I’m guessing it’s their rules, not his personal agenda 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Original poster

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 19:37

Awkwardisfunny · 03/10/2026 19:09

By SEN, do you mean misbehaving children? Not everyone with SEN misbehaves. And sometimes, a child with SEN does misbehave but tries to blame it on their SEN.

It's a bold assumption from one post to assume this head teacher was being discriminatory towards those with SEN.

I know plenty of parents and young people without SEN who flout school rules and don't back up teachers, causing massive inconsistencies and wasted time dealing with them. Why didn't you assume that was who they were referring to?

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This. The school actually has a very good SEN department, unfortunately all misbehaviour is not caused by SEN.

OP posts:

CostcoFanofThree · 03/10/2026 19:41

@ItsCloudyToday it might be the emotional and mental health aspect of SEN, children don’t want to get in trouble.

splendidgirl · 03/10/2026 19:42

and school begins with H??

Original poster

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 19:52

splendidgirl · 03/10/2026 19:42

and school begins with H??

No! 😆 Obviously the headteachers out there have been busy today!

OP posts:

concertinacornflake · 03/10/2026 19:54

ItsCloudyToday · 03/10/2026 19:35

It’s part of an Academy Trust so I’m guessing it’s their rules, not his personal agenda 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited

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It depends if that policy is devolved to the head or not.
But, whatever, a trust can be right or wrong, a head can be right or wrong.

Favouritefruits · 03/10/2026 20:00

I’d like it, you know where you stand! Least you know you’re not going to have umpteen parents arguing about why their child’s shoes/hair/bag should be accepted!

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 04/10/2026 11:59

@Awkwardisfunny They want compliant easy dc. Ones who don’t challenge and who don’t cost money. I’m aware everyone tags Sen onto
misbehaving dc but others who are Sen can cost the school far more than they bring in (to be blunt). Schools like this don’t want the effort.

Awkwardisfunny · 04/10/2026 20:50

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 04/10/2026 11:59

@Awkwardisfunny They want compliant easy dc. Ones who don’t challenge and who don’t cost money. I’m aware everyone tags Sen onto
misbehaving dc but others who are Sen can cost the school far more than they bring in (to be blunt). Schools like this don’t want the effort.

I know those school leaders exist. But to assume that about this one from one post about someone asking parents to be sure they were happy with the terms before signing up.. no. I'd make the exact same statement, but I'd never discriminate against a child.

EgregiouslyOverdressed · 04/10/2026 21:35

Awkwardisfunny · 03/10/2026 19:09

By SEN, do you mean misbehaving children? Not everyone with SEN misbehaves. And sometimes, a child with SEN does misbehave but tries to blame it on their SEN.

It's a bold assumption from one post to assume this head teacher was being discriminatory towards those with SEN.

I know plenty of parents and young people without SEN who flout school rules and don't back up teachers, causing massive inconsistencies and wasted time dealing with them. Why didn't you assume that was who they were referring to?

Show quote history

Quite. My child with SEND needs a calm, disruption-free environment and finds clear rules and boundaries reassuring. I'm afraid that if it were the headteacher's intention to dissuade us from applying to the school then this would backfire terribly as it's exactly what we are looking for .

Awkwardisfunny · 04/10/2026 22:16

EgregiouslyOverdressed · 04/10/2026 21:35

Quite. My child with SEND needs a calm, disruption-free environment and finds clear rules and boundaries reassuring. I'm afraid that if it were the headteacher's intention to dissuade us from applying to the school then this would backfire terribly as it's exactly what we are looking for .

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Exactly this. So many students with SEN need exactly that and struggle even more than those with general needs, so it's vital parents are onboard with rules.

seahorsessky · 04/10/2026 22:31

Agree. You can homeschool if you want. If you use state services you have to accept the rules. Most of us aren't crazy about all of them.

HarrietSchulenberg · 05/10/2026 00:06

I really hope it was my HT who said that. My job does not require me to attend open evenings so I wouldn't know if he said it, but it does require me to deal with parents who think their child should be exempt from aspects of the behaviour policy such as attending lessons they don't like and arriving on time for the start of the day. I would like to think my HT set our stall out clearly from the outset.

YourAmberExpert · 05/10/2026 00:32

Makes sense. Other schools are available

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 05/10/2026 11:15

The problem with dc needing peace and quiet is that it can stop normal conversation and other dc being allowed to be dc. I don’t agree with disruption but a buzzing classroom can be a great thing as long as learning is taking place.

In my home area, there was a grammar or one secondary modern. What choice? No other schools within the LA and no transport to neighbouring LA. There is no choice for many and and school head that cannot find anything good to say about pupils is no great head. They are absolutely trying to put some dc and parents off. It’s designed to divide.

clary · 05/10/2026 12:01

Hang on @MeetMeOnTheCorner you think that “normal conversation” is OK in the classroom? Have you worked in a secondary school? Yes in some situations a lesson might involve talking (speaking practice in pairs or small groups in MFL as an example from my own experience), but that would be in a focused way to enable learning. I think posters here are talking about students taking over the teacher or other students.

I don't agree with you btw that the HT is trying to put off parents of DC with SEND. It’s not OK to suggest that all YP with SEND will be disruptive (my DC certainly were not, although they did have other issues), any more than it is reasonable to suggest that all NT YP will be.

I agree though about the illusion of choice at secondary level. In many ares it does not exist.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 05/10/2026 15:23

@clary To qualify that - about the wotk being set. Working in pairs and threes. Yes, conversation is normal in schools that trust dc. I’m not talking about lesson disruption but having a chat before the lesson starts and conversing with a teacher is fairly normal. Sitting is silence is like a prison! There’s middle ground isn’t there?

LateNightOne · 05/10/2026 15:27

I wouldn't think a lot. All schools have rules. A lot of parents don't seem to care a lot.