Panicking about strict school uniform policies

Sensory issues are a bit more than not liking the feel for something

Sadly, it's not uncommon for schools to try to put parents of SEN students off from applying by saying this kind of thing about uniform. Putting it bluntly some schools don't want the 'hassle' of students who may end up costing them money in additional support or who they think may need various reasonable adjustments. There's already good advice on here about how you can try and address that issue.

In terms of an EHCP, the legal test for if a local authority MUST carry out a needs assessment is really quite low:

• whether the child or young person has or may have special educational needs (SEN); and
• whether they may need special educational provision to be made through an EHC plan.

Ipsea has some good information about the whole process. There's even a simple form you can use to request one - this is what I did when my DS's school Senco said he would never get one (he did).

Also, you can use your concerns around phase transfer transition in your reasons for an assessment (ie moving into Secondary school) - this can be taken into consideration from Yr5. In fact Yr5 is one of the most common times for EHCP requests. I would start making a diary now of all the difficulties your DD has in and out of school. Parental evidence can feed into the process.

As part of the EHCP needs assessment, your DD will be seen by an OT and a good EHCP will cover how her sensory issues must be addressed/supported.

I would also warn you that if you have to appeal refusal to assess and refusal to issue, you could be looking at a 2-year process so it's vital you apply now.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

I think you need to cast the net wide for schools too. There are likely to be more than two options.

Total sympathy here - DS has greater sensory needs/ADHD and is in specialist school thankfully. DD has some preferences but is going to a fairly flexible secondary.
Look around at different schools. Tell them you'll work on school uniform. Start with polos - DS was in the t-shirt only phase for a while and I've got him used to polos by starting with trying on, then a minute or even 30 seconds, then "wear it while you watch this short TV programme" and now he'll wear them all day. Then move up to shirts.
Trousers you can usually get girls' in ponte which is more stretchy (DS will wear light Chino fabric after following the same process).
Get a private OT to do an assessment (good to start in Y5) and make suggestions.
We have looked at about 6 different schools with DS and DD - DS is now in specialist but DD is going to secondary out of area (£900 bus fare eek!) and they are so welcoming and accessible with multiple contacts from the SENCO so far.

DD has these leather trainers that can be polished. We just keep buying the next size!

www.nike.com/gb/t/court-borough-low-recraft-older-shoes-AirlQGBM

Attending open days is a good idea and I would also suggest booking a private show round for you and DD ideally beforehand. Far less overwhelming

My daughter goes to a school notorious for strictness over uniform. They went to court rather than grant a haircut exemption for cultural reasons for instance. My AuDHD daughter who did not have an EHCP at the time was granted an exemption because the simple fact is that it is the law. They had consulted a solicitor, clearly trying to get out of it but they couldn’t. Under the equality act, they have to make reasonable adjustments and failure to do so constitutes disability discrimination. What I would advise to help is getting an OT assessment. But please know that they cannot refuse and will back down if you take it higher. The SEND department of your local authority and SENDIASS can be copied in to any emails where you have issues. Quote the law. There is guidance on this on the National Autistic Society website. Schools may well say no assuming parents will back down or don’t know the rules. Sometimes the schools don’t know the rules . Please don’t anyone force a ND child into clothing they are uncomfortable in- it will
hinder their attainment as well as mental health and contribute to burnout and failure at school.

Also, please don't try to desensitise your daughter's sensitivities with the shirts. I understand why you and others might consider it, but based on your knowledge of your daughter you know already that it'll be harmful.

This

Is her uniform adjustment documented in her SEND plan?

Took us 20 months to get the EHCP. Two tribunals.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5309128-ehcp-support-thread-no-5?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Sensory Smart Seamless socks & more for sensory sensitive kids https://share.google/BjP2cGHOLEkMaVJFs

You may be able to find alternative shirts and socks from somewhere like this.

I will post a link to the EHCP support thread on here.

Even if her needs are being well met in primary, you likely won't get the EHCP before secondary anyway!

My advice also as an AuDHD parent is to apply for an EHCP. You can ask your school SENDCO to do this but if they can’t (or won’t) you can make a parent application. I’m guessing if she is this sensitive to clothing there are lots of other things she needs support with. Turnaround time for an EHCP is 20 weeks (although sometimes it can go longer if there is a backlog). Once your child has an EHCP the high school have to say whether or not they can meet her needs. If they can’t the local authority will find somewhere that can. It’s a legal document detailing what the school need to provide for your child - if they take her in and say they can meet her needs, if it says she needs relaxed uniform restrictions they will have to abide by it.

I have a DD who is very sensory has medical needs awaiting diagnosis for ADHD and Autism.

She has to wear white shirt, trousers, proper tie and jumper. She hated the new jumpers, had to was them 10+ times before she wore them once. Plastic and crunchy were her complaints. Cut all the labels out and relatively baggy. Surprisingly she has coped fantastically with Y7, it has been the making of her. We had the same thing about think about a different school if uniform is going to be an issue.

She is very rule bound and desperately wants to fit in (as all the girls do at that age) so i think that is a factor. She a actually likes school and now her school uniform is part of her “safe clothes”.

My ASD kids found most school shirts are unbearably itchy. Any that say they are easy care or non-iron are usually not 100% cotton, but this is often not clear from the labels. Mine prefer short-sleeved 100% cotton shirts from either Next or M&S but we’re ok with the long-sleeved versions.

My advice would 100% be to start the ball moving on the EHCP asap. It is a slow process and I know things like funding work differently in different counties, but from what you’ve said your daughter definitely needs one in place, as you’re discovering, you can’t rely on every school or every teacher/staff member doing what your daughter needs just because that’s what she needs or because it’s reasonable, you need a legal document to mandate that they have to.
your paediatrician will be able to support you, as will any SALT or other professionals you’ve had involved, they’ll be able to provide reports stating your daughters needs and how an education setting can make adjustments to things exactly like uniforms/timetables or an individual curriculum and specify what the goals are that they seek to achieve by making these adjustments, SMART targets etc.
it can feel a bit overwhelming especially when you’re being told by school that it’s unnecessary, but I promise you it couldn’t be more necessary. As other posters have advised, read the IPSEA website, there is so much useful information and advice on there. Plus there are loads of us on mumsnet to offer our experiences and knowledge too.

@AllGonePeteTong1but is sounds like shes only coping because her needs are being met. So ideally those provisions would be laid down in and EHC Plan.

That is absolute rubbish and shame on who told you this. Apply now and the uniform issue should come under reasonable adjustments in the meantime.

To the PP mentioning shirts with Velcro and decorative only buttons - I have seen these available ready made in the adaptive clothing ranges from m and s and asda (may be available elsewhere too but I saw them there). Just in case it saves anyone some sewing!

That is not at all true. The point of the EHCP is for your child’s needs to be assessed by professionals and understood properly, then laid down in a legally binding plan that follows them through their education, being reviewed periodically to make sure it stays fit for purpose. (I realise that’s the plan and this isn’t always a reality for people). To say she’s currently coping so doesn’t need one is insane. My son’s school is wonderful and move heaven and earth for him, and he has just had his EHCP finalised. In it is essentially the actions that school are already doing, but now they are legally obliged to continue, and when he moves schools or up to secondary school etc, his plan will go with him, and the new school can see whether they can meet his needs or not.
now, if your daughters new school gives the only reason that they cannot meet her needs as uniform policies, you could very validly claim discrimination under the equality act, and appeal to the local authority. a uniform adjustment due to an established and diagnosed disability would absolutely fall under a reasonable adjustment and I would be happy to fight that all the way to a tribunal.
there is definitely something to be said for trying to do things, and I agree with your supporting your daughter to at least try the uniforms and see if she is able to comply. However if she cannot, you might need to role your sleeves up and get prepared for battle!

We had to battle to get our daughter into our chosen school ( where our elder daughter already attended) She had a Statement of SEN ( several years ago) a diagnosis of autism and SPD. She could not wear or touch buttons. At primary she wore a polo shirt without buttons or summer dress with zip.
At the open evening my DH approached the ( then acting) Head about reasonable adjustments he said “ May I suggest sir that you look for an alternative school as she WILL be challenged by my staff on a daily basis.”
She’d come so far and achieved so much I was devastated. My DH wrote to everyone chair of Governors, the SEN dept at the LA, her headteacher and the vicar also wrote to the school.
We got a letter saying that on reflection she would be most welcome.
Ended up eventually with a school shirt with buttons removed and sewn on to the other side ( not top one) and Velcro attached so she could change for PE without touching them.
She did so well there academically and made some lovely friends. They picked on the wrong parents.
Good luck. Make a fuss if you need to.