I posted about this back in October here. DS unexpectedly passed the 11+ but didn't want to go to the grammar school in the next city (and county - ours is a non-grammar county) and I was umming and ahhing about whether or not to put it on his secondary application form. I did in the end, but not as our first choice.
After I posted, we visited a superb comprehensive in another city in the opposite direction, on a whim, and both felt it was our absolute favourite, a brilliant fit for DS - academic, super results, amazing sports, etc. So we put it on the form as DS's first choice. It's massively oversubscribed and he didn't get a place (he's way down the waiting list). Cue mega disappointment, as we felt this was the perfect option between the grammar he didn't want to go to, and a nearby comprehensive I was finding a bit underwhelming.
In the end, the place he got offered was at the nearby small rural comp. It achieves average/slightly better than average results, is "good" according to Ofsted, and has a value added score in the high 900s (could be worse - but not a patch on the super comp he missed out on). Lots of kids in its catchment go private or to further-away grammar schools/comps, so I question how well placed that leaves it to support kids working at high levels. It's never over-subscribed. But still, DS has got comfortable with the idea of going to this comp. Most of his class mates are going, and they're nice kids.
Two days ago, unexpectedly, DS was offered a place at the grammar - he'd remained on the waiting list and a space has become available by a whisker. We've talked a lot, and DS still doesn't want to go, for a host of valid reasons (it's single-sex, heavily religious, is difficult to get to, has a claustrophobic and tired campus, he knows no one there, etc). It would be difficult for us logistically - I honestly don't know how I'd make the grammar work with transport/work/DS being able to participate fully in after-school clubs (he wouldn't be able to). Also, the grammar's value added score is no better than the comp's ... and yet I still feel like we'd be passing up a coveted opportunity by turning it down.
DS has a good work ethic and is a pretty sensible, balanced lad - people are telling me he'll do well anywhere. And the comp should, in theory, be able to support DS to achieve at the same level as the grammar. In theory. I have to let the grammar know by tomorrow if we want the place - and I feel whatever decision we go for will be wrong in some way. And if I insist on the grammar, I think DS's trust in me would plummet, where his thoughts and feelings have factored into this process so much until now.
Any words of wisdom? Anyone else gone for an OK comprehensive over a grammar, whether by choice or circumstance, and it's worked out well for their DC? I guess there's still the outside chance DS will be offered a place eventually at the other (super) comp.