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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
DCIHoops · 25/11/2020 20:13

[quote Pepperwand]@Raera I think I remember that one. Was it a no parking sign the neighbour had put up and she kept going out and putting tinsel and little figurines on it? I remember her children were trying to guess who was doing it and she was keeping the secret brilliantly.[/quote]
That was this brilliant thread I think, loved it especially for the immortal line she says to her neighbour!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3456654-To-decorate-my-neighbour-s-new-no-parking-outside-my-door-signs-with-a-bit-of-tinsel

Sidge · 25/11/2020 20:08

Mostly the ones mentioned already.

The sex fox in the bushes was HILARIOUS.

As was Suzy Quattro’s fat Nan.

There are some very funny MNers.

I still love “no I’M Angela Hernandez”

ImFree2doasiwant · 25/11/2020 20:03

Holy shit in a Pyrex dish is a new favourite. 😂

AudTheDeepMinded · 25/11/2020 20:02

The recent one where the OP had received a sex toy she'd ordered but the packaging was torn and she thought it may have been used. Another poster replied along the lines of 'I've wondered why my yodel deliveries are always late'.

TotoroPotoro · 25/11/2020 19:59

I recently saw one where a poster stated that even though they had a 7 figure income, they still wouldn't spend much on their DC at xmas.

I mean, I don't doubt some people do, but it seemed a very MN thing to say.

Also the one where a poster said they had tested Johnson's "no more tears" shampoo by rubbing it into their own eyes, before using it on their PFB's head

LolaSmiles · 25/11/2020 19:58

A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.

Brilliant!!

Purpler5 · 25/11/2020 19:57

Brilliant idea for a thread.

I read one earlier - parking thread, there was a “drive” but no dropped curb...“That’s not a drive, that’s just a patio with aspirations” Grin

TeapotCollection · 25/11/2020 19:56

I was going to say dressing gown of doom too. Still absolutely cracks me up

AriesTheRam · 25/11/2020 19:52

The one where the poster described herself as looking like suzy quatros nan when she put a leather jacket on

BullshitVivienne · 25/11/2020 19:50

The clothing / style one when the post said she looked like a fat match.

Drogonssmile · 25/11/2020 19:46

A post I remember is one where Gregg Wallace was described as looking "like a thumb" I can't look at him now without sniggering.

Marimaur · 25/11/2020 19:45

@MissisBee

One years ago about trivial annoying things your husband does. A woman described her husband turning over in bed "flapping like a great salmon"
Cracking up/I relate GrinGrin
ImnotCarolineHirons · 25/11/2020 19:37

I was going to quote the fox bum one but I see Genuine has already done so. It was absolutely brilliant.

And for really old MNers the classic
"I AM Canadian" - you had to be there Grin

MissisBee · 25/11/2020 19:33

One years ago about trivial annoying things your husband does. A woman described her husband turning over in bed "flapping like a great salmon"

BouncyMonk · 25/11/2020 19:30

I don’t know if this is really what you’re looking for, but I remember on a thread about famous people you fancy, someone said Cillian Murphy’s face looked like a freshly waxed vagina!

Oh blimey it made me laugh! Think about it every time he’s on telly!

Original poster
MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 19:27

@im5050 I wonder if that was my mother!

OP posts:
Pepperwand · 25/11/2020 19:25

@Raera I think I remember that one. Was it a no parking sign the neighbour had put up and she kept going out and putting tinsel and little figurines on it? I remember her children were trying to guess who was doing it and she was keeping the secret brilliantly.

Twospaniels · 25/11/2020 19:21

@purplecorkheart

Someone was talking about her husband having a cold or something and said he was he was shuffling along in the dressing gown of doom.
Ha ha, I remember the dressing gown of doom, great description

How about a recent one “holy sh*t in a Pyrex dish”

Namechangearoo · 25/11/2020 19:20

@TerribleLizard

One poster said she was dressing her baby to go out, and knew that the advice is the baby should be wearing one more layer than the adult, but she realised that they were wearing the same number of layers, but she thought the baby would be too hot with anything else. So she simply took one of her own layers off.

I think about that a lot.

That is fantastic. Reminds me of when my friend was doing Weightwatchers and she only had enough points left for 20g of cheese. She was meticulously weighing it out, shaving off a little, weighing it again etc etc until it was exactly 20g. Then she popped it on her plate, scooped up all the shavings and threw them into her mouth, and went off to enjoy her cheese. She never did clock what she’d done.
im5050 · 25/11/2020 19:18

Not on here but on FB a women said her daughter who was in a bad mood - “had been miserable since conception “ 😃

purplecorkheart · 25/11/2020 19:16

Someone was talking about her husband having a cold or something and said he was he was shuffling along in the dressing gown of doom.

Original poster
MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 19:07

@BrandoraPaithwaite howling!

OP posts:
GenuineKlatchianPottery · 25/11/2020 19:04

A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.

BrandoraPaithwaite · 25/11/2020 19:02

In a thread about people's DHs and DPs farting habits. Someone said her DH would fart on the dog's head and say "that'll give you a parting".

Original poster
MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 18:59

*sleep even

OP posts:
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