I’m genuinely curious how other mums in the same situation manage it.
I’ve been single for 10 years, no dating at all and haven’t really had a life outside of being a mum. I’d like to start getting back out there a little, but I’m also realistic enough to know that properly dating someone isn’t really practical for me. I have my children full time, no regular childcare and I’m not going to leave them with babysitters.
I do have school hours available, though, so I’ve been wondering how other full time mums manage having some adult companionship without having the usual child free evenings and weekends?
I’ve actually spoken to a few other single mums about this and quite a few of them have said they’ve gone back to people they had something casual before kids. They said that it’s easier and feels safer than starting from scratch with a complete stranger, because you’ve at least known that person before and can have them over when the kids are in bed.
I can understand the logic, but I also find it really strange. Some of the people being suggested to me are men I haven’t spoken to for 15 years! 😂 Surely if you haven’t spoken to someone for that long, you don’t really know them anymore? It feels a bit sad to me to suddenly message someone from 15 years ago just because your circumstances make meeting new people difficult. I even said to them I haven’t spoken to them in 15 years and they were still telling me
I should contact them (I won’t!) very different if it was a couple of years ago but 15 is just crazy and would look quite sad so I definitely won’t be doing that.
But apparently this is actually something quite a few women do, so maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way?
For those of you who have your children full time, what do you actually do?
And what is your views on having someone you’re seeing come to your house during school hours when the children are not there? Is that something you’d consider completely fine, given that they wouldn’t be around the children at all?
I’m not looking for a traditional relationship or anything serious, I’m realistic about my circumstances. I’m more wondering how other full time single mums manage to have some adult life and companionship when they have virtually no child free time.