Divorce solidarity thread - June 2026

I have reached out to friends and will be moving into my friends spare room when I get back. Then flat sitting for 3 months. That should give me space from him. He is controlling amd toxic.

i want to leave my teenagers where they are. As untroubled as possible And he probably wouldn't go so why waste energy on that?

Or they have an another woman in the background that hasn’t surfaced yet.

Mine did.

Lots of “I love you but am not in love with you’ bullshit and how he wanted to be on his own.

A month later he was seen out with a work colleague!

I’m glad you’re enjoying your friend’s wedding weekend. It gives me hope, in my head if not yet my heart.

Just told my DH I wanted a divorce today after two plus years of living with his addiction. He’s not a bad person he just can’t seem to stay clean. I feel so broken. Can’t tell the kids the truth because they’re a bit young for it so they think I’m the baddie. Anyone else in a similar position? I’ve been advised to get him to do weekly drug tests but I’m not sure how this will work in practice.

@Goinghome2late , hello sorry to hear you are going through the same, but welcome

I am grieving but clear. If that makes sense. He is toxic to be around. I'm grey rocking snd staying out of his way.

Ive gone away in my van for a couple of weeks to get some space.
To rest.

I am exhausted.

Here I am joining a club I never wanted to be in.

Parallel lives 21 years of marriage, one shit holiday where I moved out after 1 night into another hotel, 2 teenagers and 10 days of him stonewalling me.before he said I think we should separate and sell the house.

2 days later he said we should get a quickie online divorce, I want to retire.

Since then he has been blaming me. I am distant. I am cold.

No.

I am done.

@LilyDaisyRoseFern The children are all about to fly the nest but in a temporary way travelling/uni. Where I am right now is that I choose a house where I will be happy but they can be shoehorned in. I don't want too big a house when I am alone - something cosy would be good. No OW but there was one previously - the death keel for us - and his biggest regret!
We had a good today moving towards a different future.

Sorry to hear this @Flowersandthorns - do your young adult DC live at home full time and is the extra rooms for when they want to visit /stay over.....

Is there an OW in the picture do you think......

Handhold and Hugs to you......

@Gingerbread987 I get that. On the other hand would I best friend be thinking about doing such a devastating thing to you and not discuss it until the 'shot is fired'!

I am 2 weeks in and on the wrong side of 50. I am in shock that in 2 weeks my whole future, as I knew it has vanished. We have to sell our family home and I am struggling to find a home big enough to house myself and my children (who are now young adults). I still can't believe that this has happened and I feel like my anchor has been cut off! My H was my best friend and the person I talked to most about everything.. it is sad and tricky. Thinking of you all.

Yes getting both at the moment and it is helping .....I am reading all the time about handling such situations as well, and found Yoga, meditation , mindfulness helps too

What a horrible situation he's out you in. Such a cruel way to behave towards someone.

Have you taken any legal advice or thought about counselling to help build yourself back up?

@Gingerbread987 @Adviceseeker35

In my case there is no proof of an actual OW - it's more like he is always belittling me, praising other women in our circle of friends and longing to spend time with them (even if they are other men's wives!)

He has just lost all respect for me, and as a result I feel the ick and feel no attraction at all for him anymore - he might want to still continue sex till we officially separate houses in a year, but I just am unable to after all the disrespect.

We have reached a passe.....no more to be said sort of ....conversations have dwinded to almost nothing on most days, so talks of fixing this seems very unlikely at this point and apart from wishing i had gotten out 10 years ago I dont seem to have any big feelings, except sadness.

When he first left me my husband was still happy to hug, kids etc. Then suddenly decided we were on different pages so we had to stop unless he wanted to come near me. All in his terms.

I hope this doesn't sound horrible and cynical but when he left me people asked if there was someone else and I defended him. I was adamant he wasn't like that. But sadly I was very wrong.

Totally hear you Trampauline !

I wish I had more divorced friends IRL, most of mine are happily married, and ofc I am glad for them but would be nice to have groups of women to meet up with more locally...... Has anyone tried a divorced women's circle , are they good

Agree @LilyDaisyRoseFern I feel he has given me no choice but to pull the plug. Mine has let me down so much I have zero respect for him and 100% resentment. I don't know where to start with why I can't bear it any longer. We have had counselling and that made me realise there was no hope. I feel I am having to keep the peace staying together until we can sell the house, as he has form for being difficult and I need his cooperation in selling. It is killing me. During the week I can keep busy with work, etc, but the weekends kill me. At least we have enough space to be in separate bedrooms. Our daughter is grown and gone away.

Great idea for a list !

Perhaps we should plan a divorce solidarity MN meet up soon !

Do you think your H really wants to separate , if he still likes co sleeping and cuddling? actions speak louder than words

Are you sure you aren't in a similar situation to @Adviceseeker35 with a possible OW and he wants both of you ?

Are you hoping for a reconciliation on your side do you think if you still enjoy the cuddling etc?