Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

2cats, the 'I pooed on my skirt' thread is utterly hilarious! I sniggered for ages at it - just my level of humour! This was my favourite:

Must share some poo anecdotes from my dd. Her friend had spent the night at a new boyfriend's flat - had only had a couple of dates. He had to go to work early in the morning so he told her to let herself out and just close the door behind her. She then did a poo in the loo and it wouldn't flush. She decided that it was far too embarrassing to leave it there festering all day to be found later so she fished it out of the loo and put it in a plastic bag. She then put it down on the side for a moment whilst she wrote him a note and then let herself out of the flat. As the door closed she realised she had left the poo, in a carrier bag, on the kitchen worktop next to the note! Couldn't get back in and of course, she never heard from him again!!

happylass, how did your appointment go?

sidney - waiting until 14th would be an entirely sane and sensible thing to do! It is what I was originally planning...but not sure if I'll hold out till then - I expect I'll cave in and test on 12th...(and a little voice in may head keeps telling me that even the 10th wouldn't be unreasonable - but I'm trying to ignore that for now )

sidney most people aren't as crazy as me, don't worry! I absolutely understand why you would be upset. FX AF never arrives for you this time

realistically you should be able to test as soon as af is due/late (ie the day it is due) and get an accurate answer. Many people start testing well before then and it's not uncommon to get a BFP from 5 days before af is due. So testing 2 days after af is overdue wouldn't be insane at all. I understand it's crushing for af to be late AND then get a BFN as you have a serious sign/symptom that gets your hopes up! Because I test so early I never expect a BFP anyway!

AF is due here on 12th Feb so I guess if it hasn't arrived by Valentine's Day, I'll test? or would that be insane? I've only ever POAS once, when I was 3 days late. How soon can you test and have it be accurate? Sometimes I think I'll never POAS until I miss 3 or 4 AFs and a mysterious bump appears on my abdomen - I got waaaay too upset last time, and just don't want to go there again. Wish I were more like you guys who POAS for fun and can take it all in stride!!

sidney - when are you going to poas - I'm cd 17 and can't wait either...didn't get to poas at all last month as af was early, so my addiction needs some serious feeding

Not this month 2cats - am going to wait til cd31 and see what happens. If I start spewing before then I might test.

aquarius i dont suppose youre a poas-aholic like me?

Quim is Scottish isnt it??

"Quim" captain? That's a new one on me!!

So I'm in the 2ww - cd 27 of 30 day cycle. I haven't had the usual sore boobs but have had the usual bloating&wind,and according to dh am being a bit of a grouch....

Viv was my cycle buddy but i fear I've been abandoned anyone else on similar cycle to me?

argh sidney we're the total opposite, i would happily poas during af just for the fun of it (and i find knowing better than speculating!) Anyway you're clearly not mad like me so I will not encourage you don't worry. Anyway it's FAR too early yet

I'm on CD18, would love to POAS at the earliest possible chance but I remember how devastated I was when I got a shocking negative result on the one and only other pregnancy test I've ever taken, back last October. I cried for days and swore I wouldn't put myself through that again unless AF was like a week late or something. That being said, I really really want to!! Argh.

sidney exciting, how long til i can persuade you to poas how much more of a wait do you have?

Happylass let us know your appt goes! I'm seeing a GP next week for the same reason. A bit nervous. Am getting a little paranoid that all I'll get is just get a pitying look.

2Cats Yay for shag weekend! 2ww'ing here, have had weird cramps for days, and sitting here watching OBEM. I am shameless. This wait feels really long already, so I'm willing to do anything to keep my mind off it all. Even cleaning out the cupboards and wardrobe, bleurgh.

Hey ladies, have been awol (albeit stalking) for a few days but am now back. Looks like my cycle might be back on track, spotting gone, OPK's starting to get darker... Looks like this weekend we will be busy
Mother - damnit for the witch...on the plus side welcome to a shiny new cycle
bunny sorry but I am a creepy onesie wearer ... SOOOO cosy. Not hugely attractive though...
boodle laughed out loud at 'Boodles ridiculous list of jealousy' - had forgotten about the moon, and now a car too!
Anyone else in the 2ww? I need some excitement. I know viv is... come back lady and let me symptom spot (ha ha ha ) on your behalf! In the meantime if you're reading classics I assume you've all read the I pooed on my skirt at work one which had me literallly rolling with laughter www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1439461-I-pooed-on-my-skirt-at-work-today

Morning all! CD 7 here so just gearing up for shag week yet again!
Just managed to get myself an appointment with the GP for this afternoon to discuss the total lack of BFP. First time I've been since TTC. Any advice on what to expect/ask? Don't want to be fobbed off!

Also where is viv? Hope all is well.

even

Oh my! Lol

I wear tracky bottoms most evenings too, not very glam but after 7 years you don't really make much effort do you lol

And as for onesies, I find them really creepy, it's just one step away from adult nappies [Shock]

DH told me last night that he finds my paint-covered tracky bums and my old granny-knitted jumper outfit very attractive as it makes me look 'gung-ho' or something. Slovenly win. I'm not going to argue with that.
I don't shave - haven't done for years as it was a great dickhead repellant when single, and DH doesn't give two hoots about it. And I've alway had a very tidy quim anyway
I think three years of living in a building site has really knocked all the glamour out of us. By the time you've spent 6 months with the 'bathroom' being a cassette toilet in the middle of the 'living room' (ie, woodpile), you kinda lose the mystery..

On the subject of sexy jim jams, why don't you invest in a lovely, Valentine-themed onesie? That's sure to fire up the man in your life; you will literally be 'sex in a sack'...who could resist such an alluring prospect?!

Good idea aquarius

And I assumed nothing boodle

I've just realised an assumption has been made about the location of my 'yeti-ness'! It was actually my legs and armpits that were the issue! Other places were actually quite tidy because I made sure I was ready for my recent encounter with the dildocam !

Eeee you're a brave lass for waxing bunny - I never got into it

What about some glam jim jams - i recently bought a slinky satin night shirt that dh likes -from bhs of all places - feels nice to wear & I don't feel such a scruff when I wake up in it

Lol I wax once a month so after 2 weeks I start to resemble a yeti tee hee

Don't know why I'm bothering with undies, hubby is a morning person so most of the time it's jimjams and fuzzy hair [Confused]

Well after trying to get my phone charged I couldn't get any reception hmph... boodle I chickened out and changed seats- was at a table so needed to change anyway- I hate table seats. Everyone trying not to stare at each other and rub knees.

On the underwear I'd go for m&s as an alternative - think they do 3 for £12 and they've got some nice lacy numbers in all different styles...

I get called yeti-like names too when I've ignored my razor. I don't have time for regular maintenance - dont get how anyone does- but I know dh likes it when I do