Part time nanny - part time nursery?

I didn’t sent my oldest to nursery until he was 2.5 and had the same feelings as you but his brother went at 13 months (I pushed it back from 10 months last minute as he felt so little but actually think he’d have been fine and it was me that wasn’t) and settled incredibly well, genuinely seems happy to go in and big smiles on pick up. He did three days and two with different grandparents and he had no problems adjusting to this mix at all. He’s a very confident and adaptable child - very different personality to his brother who may not have been as ok with it all and is still a little unsettled by separation/transitions so personality possibly plays a big part in how they take to a nursery. Having been through it recently and also previously very unsure about having a baby in nursery if you have the right people/setting for your child they’ll be happy.

I was incredibly fussy about nursery settings, visited a lot, asked a lot of questions and if I felt in any way unsure I ruled it out. We have a long morning drop off because of this.

I think it’s nice for them to get to do some activities outside of nursery if you can afford a nanny and get use to other settings but it’s not essential and you can do things of a weekend.

I think it depends, my dd went to her childminder at 13 months, she has three other children on her books who aren’t always there so sometimes my dd is by herself and sometimes she’s there with 2-3( normally 2) toddlers/preschoolers. They don’t demand all the attention at once like several babies would. Personally I’ve found it like an extended family, they’ve formed a relationship similar to siblings or cousins, the older ones teach the younger ones and learn to help too when needed. My dd has also grown fond of the childminders daughter who is 12, she asks for them when we’re home on the weekends.

I said upthread that she went to both nursery and childminder but we’ve taken out of nursery recently as she was thriving more with the childminder. One thing I noticed that in the summer the nursery kept children in all day during the heatwave whereas my childminder had them out in the shaded garden and her paddling pool. I can’t imagine being stuck inside a small nursery room with ten other babies is healthy.

edited to say I would try choose a childminder who doesn’t have older children and doesn’t do school drop offs etc.

@AleaEim tbf it can work well, but I do find even ‘good’ childminders have to be a bit creative when it comes to adapting routines for children of different ages, whereas in nursery settings the children are doomed according to age so you don’t have that challenge.

But I do know a lot of people who put their child with a CM for a more individual and personal experience and in fact it was the opposite. Needy babies often get on better in nurseries because there’s just more people around to hold or soothe them.

I used to work in nurseries and I disagree that needy babies get more attention in nurseries, quite the opposite actually. Nannies are better for needy babies and childminders can usually adapt things more easily so good as a second choice imo. A nursery has a strict routine they need to stick to regardless of what parents want whereas a nanny or childminder typically adapt to your schedule where possible.

My kids are long past nursery age, but in their nursery the staff worked 4 long days instead of 5 shorter days. That way staff weren’t leaving before the kids, they said the change to this system was better for the kids.

I work for the NHS and my kids went to the NHs staff nursery, with the children of many child psychologists, psychiatrists and paediatricians so nursery can’t be that bad!

Like someone else I don’t get the love for childminders on MN. At least nurseries are always open, and there is a stream of parents in and out. Childminders are less visible to the parents and there have been incidents like the recent prosecution of the childminder in Fife.

Would a nanny share be an option you could consider?

@AleaEim there are nurseries and nurseries and childminders and childminders and I do recognise that.

But the needs of even a ten month old and eighteen month old in terms of daily routine are very different and unless you have one of those very chill babies who naps anywhere you can end up with your baby having a toddler routine before they are ready.

I agree I wouldn't want to put a baby in nursery full-time if I had another option. So I'd explore the idea of a part time nanny or a good childminder. I don't see why it would be more difficult for them to adapt to than using grandparents a couple of days a week.

Yes most do accept the 30 hours and there are some excellent childminders

But surely that's just the same as in a family set up and in my opinion one of the advantages of a childminder over a nursery with a baby room which isn't a natural set up at all.

Well, yes, if it is a family but it isn’t, it’s managed by OFSTED. No one is going to grade me as inadequate if my baby falls asleep in the car and so my eldest and I have a late lunch!

No one's going to grade a childminder inadequate for that either, I'm not sure what you think Ofsted do?
Ofsted aren't managers. They're regulators, they inspect childminders every 4-5 years to ensure they comply with the EYFS.

Well yes, they will, if they aren’t adhering to safe sleep guidelines (which have recently been updated, not sure if you’re aware?) Essentially children can’t be left in eg a car seat or a pram to nap but have to be transferred to a cot. For a lot of children though this doesn’t work, as they instantly wake. So either childminders transfer a child who wakes up having had a short nap and then is ratty and miserable or they don’t go out if they have a child likely to nod off, which kind of negates the point of a childminder.

I don’t think it’s their fault; some of it is ridiculous expectations from OFSTED but some of it is just that several preschoolers is too much for one person, even with the ratios being as they are.