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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

incompetant midwives

62 replies

jenz · 11/04/2003 19:37

i know there are a lot of women who have had bad experiences due to the incompetance and uncaring attitude of some midwifes.lots of them seem reluctant to talk about this(understandably),but think we need to speak up and hopefully(eventually)things will change.
i arrived at hospital for my sons birth(my first) nearly fully dilated and although i told the midwife this, she told me i had 8 hours to go(i had already been in labour for 24).it took her 1 1/2 hours to tell me she was wrong and that i was ready to push.
before this she had tried to break my waters twice(they had already broken naturally but very slowly and i didnt realise}and my poor baby had sores on his head where she had proded him.
she gave me no help with alternative birth positions and turned the whole experience into a nightmare(i was coping fine and probably would have continued to do so).i ended up getting an eleventh hour epidural(which was done beautifully-no back pain)cause it turned out the baby was sideways with the cord wrapped round,although if i had been treated better i dont think i would have DEMANDED this.
anyway everything was ok in the end but my image of midwifes being good caring people was shattered.this bitch was not only bad at her job but also had a bad attitude.
finally does anyone know of a national body that deals with complaints.i also know that my story is nothing compared to what has happened to other women.
thanx for reading

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whymummy · 16/04/2003 09:39

i`ve got the forms today
jenz did you get my email?i sometimes have trouble with hotmail,let me know

Pancake · 15/04/2003 17:12

Bigbird ... yes it was my second baby and the pain was FAR worse than with the first and the cause was the back-to-back position (and also it was very quick ... 45 mins after arriving at hospital at 3cm)! Ouch! So please don't let it put you off trying again ... !

jenz · 15/04/2003 17:02

oh an only 1/2 sugar cause im kidding myself im on a diet

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jenz · 15/04/2003 17:00

rice milk(with added calcium)!!

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whymummy · 15/04/2003 16:46

what are you putting in your tea???

thanks for your email i`ll write to you as soon as i get the dog and the children locked outside in the garden so i can hear myself thinking

jenz · 15/04/2003 16:39

hi whymummy......>

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jenz · 15/04/2003 16:37

yeah i kept thinking i was gonna wait for my mid wife in a dark alley after her night shift and biff her one .then i realised i had ds and he wouldnt be able to come with me..!
i dont often take revenge (just leave it to those good ole karmic laws-i believe that in the long run they always work)but i often think of it!(dont start me off about the old bid neighbour who complains at nothing for fun-who got my car towed from the back lane by the police-cause youre not meant to park there-though everyone else does-it cost me £165 to get my car back-i cast a spell on her but im very sorry cause this is awful bad karma and it might rebound so i took it back and now im just gonna send her loads of junk mail an maybe a few taxis and takeaways-she cost bs the garcia signing book a highchair and me decent food for a week -bitch-and i seen her in the street and her hubbie gave ME a dirty look-i gave doubleevils back!rant...rant..rant..)
anyhow my bubba son is about 7 months im losing track of the weeks now...he was born on 13th of sept(yes it was a friday!)..not unlucky for him but turned out unlucky for me!..by some bizzare twist of fate it was bitch cow midwifes birthday too.
anyway hes called jacob liam and hes very very cute(cutsicle).heres my email if you want it [email protected] its a pity you dont live nearer... where's middlesex anyway?!!! you should move up here its great ..i love where i live theres loads of alternative healers/therapists/homeopaths/psychics/crystals up here its great if you like mumbo jumbo and cool gift shops!my best mate is from essex shes a reiki master and amazing reader. i do a bit of the old septic peg stuff myself but thats another story!!!(hope no-one else reads this they'll think ive proper lost it now.my cover is completely and utterly blown.now wheres that cup of tea ive been maening tomake for about three hours ..bfn..laters

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whymummy · 15/04/2003 14:36

hi jenz,youre right i thought of the name because my ds whos 5 and dd nearly 3 keep saying it and drives me up the wall,i live in middlesex what a shame you live so far we could have had lots of wild nights out,how old is your little darling?about the complaint youre right all the midwifes tried to cover up for her i even said i wanted to know her name so i could send her some flowers(a bomb more like it)but still didnt work

jenz · 15/04/2003 14:25

thanks mum2toby youre right. if all the people that had bad experiences with these midwves before,had complained they would probably lose their jobs,cause im sure if they're bad with one patient they're bad with others.

hello whymummy you party animal!!! good you can get your notes and make a real complaint,you should be able to get her name too.funny cause when i told the other midwives about my treatment they 'closed ranks'and stuck up for the cr*p midwife too.
i like your nname whymummy how old is your eldest? is this what he says...why mummy?...why mummy?...!...by the way where do you live...i live up north(its not too grim!)-halfway between manchester and leeds on the lancashire/yorkshire border...inbetween todmorden and hebden bridge two towns being rapidly populated by southerners(i dont mind though some of my bessie mates are southers!!)

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mum2toby · 15/04/2003 13:33

Jenz - they took my gas and air off me to push..... b*tches!! Well that's what I thought of them at the time! I didn't have that bad a time of it so I won't comment on the other issues.

But...

You should definitely complain. People don't complain enough about real issues anymore...... coz they "don't want to cause a fuss"! You go for it.

susanmt · 15/04/2003 13:24

Bigbird - my first was back to back and almost 10lb and agony for 36 hours (have back problems, no epidural advised!) She was born by ventouse, I had a 2nd degree tear but all healed up well.
I was understandably terrified with my 2nd - but it was almost 'textbook'. A 10 hr labour, gas & air only, right way round, small tear along the same line and a 9lb3 ds at the end of it (10 days early).
SO second time round can be a lot better and when you have had one OP baby that doesn't mean you will automatically have another. I still remember the releif when I had my internal exam and the midwife said 'anterior!'. I could have cheered (if I hadnt been biting the mouthpeice at the time!)

whymummy · 15/04/2003 09:56

i just got an email from the hospital apologising and telling me that a form to obtain my records is on it`s way

BigBird · 15/04/2003 09:30

Pancake - i've only 1 dd and she was back-to-back and I found it excruciating for the 8 hours before the epidural - then bliss for 16 hrs more
I wanted to ask was your second way more painful than your first because of the back-to-back position? That might make me happier about going again....at least I may not have the same extent of pain!

jenz · 14/04/2003 22:12

its been that long since i partied i cant remember..........thats why had a db cause id taken to stayin in at weekend...used to be a pa though

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whymummy · 14/04/2003 21:36

oi,jenz youre talking to a party animal here,maybe we get a babysitter (; on the subject of tearing brought up by pancake mears can you tell me why over here women in labour dont get shaved to avoid infections?

Pancake · 14/04/2003 21:02

Finally I can let of steam about my two pregnancies so sorry if I bore anyone!

DS1 ... after his head came out the midwife just pulled him out and his shoulders got stuck ... ended up with me being rushed off to theatre to mend a massive 3rd degree tear. Think she felt guilty as they put me in a private room for 5 days!

DS2 ... the midwife didn't appreciate that he was back-to-back and thought I was fussing about the pain (I only had gas and air with both births)!! Then she gave me an episotomy but instead of cutting away from the last scar cut right down it so I practically ended up with the same damage as last time! She looked shocked when DS1 came out head up and think she felt guilty as once again I was whisked off to a private en-suite room!

Both births were fairly traumatic, not made easier by the midwifes and I would never consider putting my body through that again for risk of something else going wrong!

Still, I now have two gorgeous little boys and I know that relative to a lot of people my births were probably ok but I just wanted to get it out of my system so thanks to Mumsnet for letting me do so!

jenz · 14/04/2003 20:51

yes of course whymummy as long as you'll baby sit whilst i go and party!

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leese · 14/04/2003 18:41

BigBird - prior to 4cm, pethidine is usually offered if pain relief is requested, although in our unit, any pain relief can be administered from 3cm dilated.
For whoever asked - a Baby Friendly hospital is one which has passed the Unicef baby friendly inspection - it's all to do with breast feeding. In short a Baby Friendly hospital will clearly show that it follows the Baby Friendly guidelines to promote b/f - things like:
baby with mum at all times to encourage feeding
no dummys/pacifiers offered
no formula milk on show
baby straight to breast post delivery
all staff trained in same feeding technique to avoid confusion
no formula feeds given unless clinically indicated

these are just a few examples

BigBird · 14/04/2003 16:54

susanmt, I DID have a midwife offer me paracetemol for labour pains! I was about 3cm and couldn't get any pain relief until they brought me to the labour ward at 4cm.

Mears/any others in the know....is there nothing available for pain relief before 4cm ?? I would love to know this for next time!! I was 8 agonising hours getting to 4cm with only the tens machine and I even took the paracetemol

whymummy · 14/04/2003 16:05

can i come with youuuuuuuu?please,please

jenz · 14/04/2003 16:02

i dunno whymummy-i usually complain to him but i dont think he listens.on our way to the hospital in the car i could hardly sit down cause babies head was engaging and he was goin 'im really tired(oh poor u) are u sure we need to go now'.when i told him my contractions were gettin stronger he wanted sympathy for backache(ithink it wasd sympathy ache but really...what a plonk.i battered him with my maternity notes! as soon as ifind a nice house with a garden which i can afford im outta here.he does love his son a lot though which counts.

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whymummy · 14/04/2003 15:05

LOL jenz,who could we write to to complaint about our men??

jenz · 14/04/2003 15:03

also is it true that there is no private health care available for births

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jenz · 14/04/2003 15:01

hi why mummy-i need to stop talking on here to find the time to write it! although im practising my typin!still havent tidied up from saturday-dp(dear plonker)is out with ds so id better get cracking cause ill get earache if its still a tip when he returns.yes my man has me chained to the cooker a place were i thought id never b although i dont have to get up to go to work which suits me.have harboured ideas of doin teacher training but i dont think i could cope with the system!
was so glad to hear you had a better time in your second labour-its a relief-
well better go talk to you again
(sorry for using dis group like a chat room)

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jenz · 14/04/2003 14:53

does anyone(mears)? know what a baby friendly hospital is pls.

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