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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

How soon were you left to cope?

39 replies

prufrock · 05/05/2004 17:01

This should probably be under relationships, but I think I've posted enough "Am I being unreasonable" threads in the past.
I had a c-section 8 days ago. Today dh left me at 3.30pm and will not be back until midnight. So I have to look after a baby and a nearly 2 year old by myself all evening.
Now as you can probably tell from the fact I'm posting I'm not finding it too arduous. (Thank God for sleepy newborns and Teletubbies videos)though I am rather dreading bath and bedtime. So should I have "let" him go? When were you first left alone to cope by yourself?

OP posts:
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stamford · 05/05/2004 17:57

I had my first one in August (when football wasn't on) - not planned at all but I got 3 weeks full time of dh. My second (born 15months later in November) happened to come into the world at a very interesting football time and dh went off to games straight away. Having said that, if I had asked him to stay at home he probably would have done.

I was so mad having the two so close together that I could hardly form a rational thought until around a year later! I think there are times when you do just have to let them go. If you don't, they only resent it.

serenequeen · 05/05/2004 17:55

two weeks is really the minimum imo. unfortunately, as you know, it is not a question of permission, is it? it is getting it through their thick skulls... does he really have no clue what major surgery is like, ffs? so where do you think you come on his priority list after this? gah!

tell him perfect strangers have strong opinions on things like this!

wobblyknicks · 05/05/2004 17:54

Have done you a favour to stop you clogging up other people's threads!!

coppertop · 05/05/2004 17:49

Apologies for quick thread hijack:

WK - the thread's too big for my steam-powered computer to open.

wobblyknicks · 05/05/2004 17:42

ct - read the "don't lynch me" thread - and then go back to teaching your kids to go robbing!!

dinosaur · 05/05/2004 17:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

gloworm · 05/05/2004 17:25

if he's going to work, or something important then ok, if its football or someting equally unimportant, then not ok
only do whats absolutely necessary tonite and let dh do rest of it in the morning

coppertop · 05/05/2004 17:17

WK making fun of jmg?? I don't believe that for a second!

Dh went back to work about 2 weeks after each birth. This was just enough time for me to ease back into things.

wobblyknicks · 05/05/2004 17:09

I am a psychic madam!!! Nope, I was reading the other messages as well as making fun of jmg I'll have you know!! (on the Chelsea thread)

wobblyknicks · 05/05/2004 17:08

Think when you're ready for it, you're entitled to the same amount of time swanning off by yourself IMO!!

Original poster
prufrock · 05/05/2004 17:08

How did you guess wk?

OP posts:
bundle · 05/05/2004 17:05

can't remember which day first time round, but last year when dd2 was born dh went to peru for a week, so I pre-arranged for his mum/my parents to help me (they live too far to nip round) and couldn't have managed without them. don't bother with a bath tonight, they won't suffer for it, just wipe round with flannel. and don't do any lifting not even loading dishwasher. order in take away for whatever you feel like. x

wobblyknicks · 05/05/2004 17:04

He's gone to watch the footy hasn't he? I'd have told him he had to stay at homw if I was you!!!

Lisa78 · 05/05/2004 17:03

Ha! DH didn't go back to work until DS2 was 2 weeks old, and then he only did half days
And I have a teenager to help out too!!! Personally, no, I wouldn't have let him go, but if you feel you are up to it, more power to your elbow

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