shock after childbirth

You have clearly had a frightening and traumatic time, especially as you were alone. I can?t begin to imagine how scary that must have been. When first pregnant, I used to have repetative nightmares of the baby shooting out with me either alone or somewhere ridiculous like in the middle of a shop and no one around me to help me cope. I am no medical expert and have only long drawn out labours as my own personal experiences but as regards to pain, I thought that the gradual build up of increasing pain was a way of your body coping and preparing for birth and that is why intervention to speed things up like having your labour induced or water broken is widely known to often result in a more painful labour and birth. It would make a lot of sense that this could explain your own high level of pain as your own body?s endorphins hadn?t a chance to kick in.
I was shocked and couldn?t believe that my baby had finally arrived - and I started my first proper twinges on a late Friday night and she was not born until just before midnight on the Monday! I had loads of time to get used to the idea and still felt shocked at how quickly I went from being a pregnant lady to a mum with a baby in my arms. Little wonder that you should feel even more shocked and traumatised. It is a huge physiological event and the emotional strain of this life changing event is just immense as well. And that doesn?t even begin to include the effect of all those hormones zooming around and a traumatic birth experience on top of it all. Many women seem to feel quite isolated and alone when they first become a mum, despite having lots of people there it still feels like the only one that has gone through it physically from the "inside out" is yourself. Small wonder then, after experiencing this alone that you should feel even more alone in this, regardless of how good your family and friends are supporting you afterwards.
If you ask many women how they cope with the negative emotional sides of life after birth, most will tell you that it is by talking and tlaking about it with others who are able to empathise and understand along with giving yourself a bit of understanding with realistic expectations about your own feelings. If you stop feeling bad about feeling bad, focussing on what you think you should be feelings, and start accepting that it is ok to be feeling downm you can start to look forward.
Sorry for waffling on, it is just that your post really touched me. I have always been so envious of people with quick birth stories and have felt a bit ashamed reading this thread. Will try to be not so quick to judge in future.

Bez - sorry - only read your original post when I wrote my last message and have since read the more recent ones. What I said still stands though - it seems quite natural for you to have felt like that after such a quick birth. I can relate to it. Hope things are ok with you now.

Bez just read this whole thread again as I just skimmed it quickly after your original post, cannot believe the comment from your HV !!!! You will get over the shock of this quick birth in the coming weeks I'm sure but I worry that after such an insensitive remark from HV she might not fill you with confidence and it might be hard to speak to her about possible PND. Hoping that you have somone else to go to about this, my HV was no use at all when I had PND and I ended up bypassing her to get the help and support I needed. Hope you are well and things have settled a bit for you now.

Bez - congratulations. I'm not surprised you're in shock! Just because you had a quick labour doesn't mean you shouldn't be shocked. People assume you were "lucky" but thats not always the case. Just make sure you talk about it to whoever will listen - get it out of your system if you can - that WILL help. It helped me anyway. It sounds like its really soon after the event anyway so you're probably feeling quite sensitive....it'll pass...

Have to say, I was glad to have quick delivery with dd (2 hrs) but it was very intense and I did not enjoy it or remember it as well as first labour and delivery (6 hrs) wish I'd had a bit more time to get organised (get babys clothes on the radiator, light a candle, have some gas and air, kiss ds goodnight for the last time as my only child etc) The shock was immense, and in both labours there was only one midwife present as the other one couldn't get there on time.

First time I've seen this, bez, and just read your first post. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Just to say, my dd2 shot out in an hour, and it didn't worry me! All that bothered me was not being able to have an epidural - 'cause I had pre-eclampsia and the blood test would have taken too long. Otherwise, it's great to have them 'shoot' out (although a bit painful!)

I am also new to this thread, I had my dd1 seven weeks ago and think that I am just now comming to terms with how fast it was - not as fast as yours bez - 5 hrs 30 from first twinge - but have spoken to people recently at baby club etc and they have all said how lucky I was, but I can quite relate to the anti-climatic feeling afterwards, and the absolute fear during contractions that the intense pain was going to continue for many hours before she would be born. Somehow it never seems to get mentioned to first time mums that this is even a possiblity, everyone appears to try and prepare you for a long and painfull labour and ways to manage it, and if that doesn't actually happen it feels (to me at least) quite traumatic. I hope you are feeling better now and have come to terms with it a little more now.

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet, recently gave birth to 2nd dd, and v interested in this thread. I gave birth 30 mins after arriving at hospital, and I found the whole experience terrifying, much more so than the first. I had been going around blithely saying "It doesn't hurt, it's just hard work" beforehand, well it really hurt this time around. I screamed so much someone came in to see what all the noise was about, I bit my husband's hand, and I clearly remember at one point whimpering "I'm frightened".....I just cannot believe that anyone in all seriousness can say that a quick labour should not hurt. B**x to that! and yes, it can feel really anti-climactic afterwards. I hope Bez is continuing to feel as if she is coming to terms with her experience.

please dont panic to much my neighbours longest labour was six minuites from the first contraction and she got six of them how long it takes to get oover the shock i couldnt help you with as she seemed to have the baby go into hospital over night then back out as if nothing happened

hi bez, how r u doing?

you went overdue didnt u? were u induced at all? maybe thats why it was quick. as for the pain, maybe pupuce or mears can verify this but could it be that quick labours are more painful cos if it normlly takes an hour to dilate 1 cm, then contracting ten cm in 1 hour, surely, you have to contract even more strongly than most people.

Hi all

I'm new and have just read through all your experiences. I too had a quick labour - 1hr and 26 mins. Being my first pregnancy I was prepared for the long haul. Thankfully that didn't happen! If I plan any more children I could only hope for a similar labour. It was great, how can I say that when forceps were used?!! But I seem to have totally forgotten about the pain (and didn't have any pain relief!). However, my daughter was diagnosed with developmental dysplasia of the hip at 7 months and I can't help wondering if the quick labour had something to do with it. Has anyone any experience of this? She's nearly 2 and still not walking. Also, having had her in a bodycast for 4 months and then a splint for 4 months, I would hate to have to go through that with another child. It has put me off!!! It would be great to hear if anyone has had any of these experiences.

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Hi Bez,

not sure what your latest situation is but if you need support you should really push for it. My second was not as fast as yours but was pretty fast and unassisted. It was very very freaky when I realised she was coming and there was only going to be me and dh there. Immediately after the birth I didn't want to hold her - which was a real contrast with dd1. I can remember sitting on the bed stark naked whilst a whole load of people (ambulance men and midwives) flapped around the room and it was almost like I wasn't there - it was surreal. I was weepy for days afterwards and in later weeks was borderline pnd. Even tho I went to my gp I was knocked back and told to make sure I went for a walk every day. But the thing I wanted you to know is that when I decided to talk to my health visitor, and be honest with her about how I was feeling she was absultely fantastic. She visited my house several times and really got me through a difficult time. She was never once dismissive and I feel I owe her a lot. I would never have thought that a stranger could help me but she really did - in actual fact I think the support of a stranger can sometimes help more than that of a friend. You can say exactly what you want and you feel chuffed that a stranger cares. So if you can get some support like this I would really recommend it. I've experienced both extremes in birth - a quick unnassisted home birth and a horrible prolonged hospital experience. I often wonder whether to go for no.3 just to see if we can get it right!

So pleased to finally find other women who've had fast, violent birth experiences. I've tried other websites but the only responses I had were the 'Oh aren't you lucky?' kind, which just makes you want to SCREAM. Nobody else seems to really understand how shocking it is when you have no control over the situation and the contractions just merge together. I made a written complaint about my birth (an induction) to the hospital concerned and had a meeting with them to discuss the problems. This helped me come to terms with it. I also had a short course of counselling, from the counsellor attached to the maternity unit. Try to find ways to work through it, I found the shock didn't go away on it's own.

oh, and my MW just said to me, plan a home birth next time, she seems to think a fast labour is no problem at all!

Bez, I had a very fast birth eight weeks ago with dd2, an hour and forty minutes with only three contractions in the first half an hour! I had her half an hour after getting to the hospital, it was all very scary as she was breech and I was supposed to be having a c section the following morning!
I actually had her in the operating theatre with lots of panicing staff trying to get me ready for an emergency section, but out she came, bum first, second stage took eight minutes!
It was all a huge shock, afterwards I just lay there in a daze, and felt like that for ages afterwards, but now I'm just very grateful for avoiding a section and the recovery afterwards, and for the speed of it all (dd1 took 24 hours!)
My MW told me i was suffering from shock, which would pass, and it did.
And I screamed the bloody place down!

Do you know Bez. I think we forget that babies can be born all by themselves quite happily! I am not suggesting that women should give birth alone (some women do plan that) but babies that arrive on their own are usually absolutely fine.

The screaming bit is also a lot of rubbish. Screaming can be a natural coping method for pain that actually helps the birth process - it is a natural thing to do. Quick labour does not equate with less pain.

I was at a fabulous waterbirth the other day and the woman screamed away. When she didn't scream the baby did not advance. When she screamed she pushed much better.

Your body is capable of birthing a baby - it can do it again. No two labours are ever the same and you cannot really plan for it. I think you need to be able to talk through these issues with someone with knowledge. Do you have a NCT group near you? You may get a lot of support there which seems to be lacking from the HV and MW.

WHAT!!!!!!!
My 2nd and 3rd labours were fast and although not as hard work as the 1st (which was long) still bloody well hurt.
The pains were very VERY bad much faster and DS2 especially left me dazed and shocked for days.
With DS3 the MW said I had hours to go (more than 8 she suggested) as my cervix was 'posterior'(sp?), whatever that meant and she went home. Little did she know that within 2 hours she'd be running through our frontdoor to catch him as he shot out. Maybe the MW who said that to you is the same one who said this to me.

She's talking baloney. My labours have been between 2hrs 20 mins and just 22 mins, and all were extremely painful. I certainly wasn't quiet!Surely dilating so quickly has to be more painful?

UTTER UTTER rubbish...... Pie had a quick birth (2nd stage was 2 pushes and 1stage was quite short too) and she shouted the place down during her 2nd stage. (the little story is that the MW left me with her and said, press the button when you need help.... well I didn't need to because she shouted so loud they ran in.... baby was coming so fast).
Sorry Bez - what is traumatic to you might not be to someone else. Please do NOT feel that because others don't understand why you would have been shocked that you weren't. And there is no small enough trauma that it isn't worth a call to Birth Crisis. I have spoken to Sheila Kitzinger and Dr Heather Allan about this in the past..... they are both lovely and at the end of the day you need to get some sort of closure and work through your pain - PLEASE ring them.

Bez...I had a quick birth with dd, less than an hour and a half from start to finish (including 10 mins when they didn't want me to push whilst obs bloke strolled upstairs. Anyway I screamed my head off because believe me it hurt like hell (and she was my third but was a hefty 10lb). I was terribly shocked after both physically (shaking and sweating) and mentally mainly I think because it all felt completely out of my control. It took me a good few weeks to really get to grips with it all and I would still say now that of the three labours that one was the worst. I much preferred the 15 hours I had with ds1.