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Baby names

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Babydad hates our sons name and refuses to use it

112 replies

CareBear12 · 26/04/2026 14:35

Father refuses to call his baby by his actual name. Has anyone got any advice? My baby is nearly 5 months old and has his name. His father hates it. Through out my pregnancy we couldn’t agree on a name. He wanted to name the baby after himself. ___ junior. He also wanted the baby’s middle name to be his father’s middle name and then their last name. I said no. I didn’t like the name and felt there was nothing in that name coming from me or my side. I felt like a surrogate. He asked me my name suggestions didn’t like any of them said they didn’t go with the middle name. He slightly liked one name off my list and I said that I wasn’t sure on it because I wanted to see the baby first to see if it suited him. Gave birth he said in the delivery room to his father I could name the baby that it’s fair he chose the middle name and last name. He then went back on this when I chose a name saying that I can choose a name but it has to be one we both agree on? Yet I didn’t want the middle name he chose as I don’t like the name, it has ties in my life already and his father isn’t that great of a man. I didn’t want my son named after him when I see naming your child after someone as an honour. I told him this. Time was running out I had to register him soon or get a fine and we still hadn’t decided on a name. He kept repeating the name that was on my list that I wasn’t sure about which after meeting the baby I’d said no it doesn’t suit him I don’t like it. He then kept saying that name when I’d ask him for suggestions and even was telling people that’s the name. The name my son has he doesn’t like and said no to. I gave him a dozen suggestions after that he said no to everyone. I asked him for suggestions he just kept repeating the same name. I was at a loss with him. He wanted it his way or no way really. In the end he told me to just choose his name. Even on the way to the registry I asked him for any last minute name suggestions he still continued repeating the same name. Again told me to do what I want. So I did. I called him the name I liked gave him the middle name he wanted that I didn’t like. Gave him their last name but also put mine down. So he has a double barrel. That didn’t go well either he didn’t want that. In my eyes we’re not married, double barrel last names are common now, and I’d done nothing but put the baby first from the minute I found out about him. His father didn’t. But that’s another story. So why shouldn’t I put my last name there to. He now refuses to call the baby by his name, calls him junior, and it’s gotten to the point he corrects people and tells them not to call him by his name. And even introduces him as junior. He tries to say it’s a ‘nickname’ but it’s not. It’s him refusing to acknowledge his sons name and trying to change his identity. Recently found out also he doesn’t like the name as someone with the same name smacked him round the head with a baseball bat when he was younger. I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CantMakerHerThink · 16/05/2026 07:03

CareBear12 · 26/04/2026 14:48

Usually bicker about me asking him to get his priorities straight. He’ll spend money on things for himself and yet doesn’t even get his son a box of formula. Last time he brought his son anything was February.

None of this is even scraping the barrel of you putting your son first since you found out about him. If you were putting him first you would have ended the relationship. This man treats his child like an inconvenient possession and not a living person, and you are complicit in this because you had a baby with a giant knobber when you should have walked away long long ago.

my DH wouldve gone without food to get our kids formula/shoes/school trips. He spent time every single day showing with actions how much he loved me and the kids and how important we were to him. We didn’t agree on names but found one unisex name we both liked and used that. He certainly didn’t act like a giant child .

your kid deserves better and you know it. Nothing about him suggests he’s even an ok dad never mind a good one.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 16/05/2026 07:01

Babydad 🤮

Ernestinepine · 16/05/2026 06:43

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 16/05/2026 03:44

You are old enough to have a grandchild, yet you act like a naive teen by dating and having kids with negative value men like this. Why?

Give him the boot.

How do you know that? I had assumed OP was late teens / early twenties at most

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 16/05/2026 06:06

He sounds like a controlling bully.

MyCottageGarden · 16/05/2026 06:04

Paragraphs, PLEASE!!!!!

notatinydancer · 16/05/2026 05:56

Shame you put him on the birth certificate I have a feeling co parenting when you split up won’t be easy.

Milkmonitoring · 16/05/2026 05:51

You view him as a baby dad not a partner. That is very telling.

MynameisnotJohn · 16/05/2026 05:48

Good that you’re not so controlled by this man that you gave in to him. Shame you had a baby with someone so selfish. I expect you will be doing 99.9% of the raising of the child so you are right to stand your ground. Do you even live together? How does he manage to not support his child if you live together? That’s a bigger issue.

MeanwhileinGilead · 16/05/2026 03:58

Your baby's father isn't mature enough to be in a relationship or parent a child. I second trying Women's Aid for advice on protecting yourself and your child. If this bloke wants to put the effort and get himself in shape to function as an adult and a decent person anyone would want in their life, he can pursue that without you and then you can reconsider getting back together, but I would not hold my breath or wait for him. I'd also tell (his) family and friends directly what has happened with naming and ask them to please use the baby's correct name to avoid confusion.

In case you really need perspective:

You did nothing wrong in terms of the last name; the baby gets the mother's name, which traditionally was also the father's name as most people who had babies were married and most married women took their husband's surname. Double barrelling the name was fine, it would also have been fine to use yours only in this case, it would have been wrong to use just the dad's.

For the first and middle, both parents should agree and if compromise is necessary each parent should have a veto over anything they hate. Doctor No shot himself in the foot, though, saying no to every name you chose and refusing to propose any but the name that YOU had veto'd - and then saying you could choose whatever you want but ignoring your choice. He could have told you the specific name you ended up with upset him.

Even now, he could work with you to find an option - use the middle, use a diminutive, pick a new name and change it. There's an innocent baby here, and this arsehole still thinks everything's all about him and it's OK to bully and make things miserable and impossible for a tiny child AND for the person who's supposed to be his equal and beloved partner.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 16/05/2026 03:44

You are old enough to have a grandchild, yet you act like a naive teen by dating and having kids with negative value men like this. Why?

Give him the boot.

mathanxiety · 16/05/2026 03:28

Did you post before about this man?

Is he from the Traveller community? Or am I thinking of another poster?

You need advice from Women's Aid about the safest way of separating from this man and keeping him from the baby. 0808 2000 247 is the number to call.

I suspect this man would be a candidate for kidnapping the child if he were to get visitation or shared custody. Please talk to a solicitor to explore your options.

You should not be trying to make this relationship work.

Rosegarden98 · 16/05/2026 03:08

You were right not to want to name your baby after him he sounds dreadful. I'd just ignore him.

user1492757084 · 27/04/2026 09:41

Mason is a handsome name.

Ignore Mason's father.
Once Mason is in school and has friends calling him Mason, he will not like being called Junior and will correc this Dad probably.

LiveLuvLaugh · 27/04/2026 09:25

Hardgarden · 26/04/2026 14:54

This will be the tip of the iceberg re what is unfair for this child

He was willing to compromise by choosing a first given name from your shortlist and dropping his insistence on both of his family given names and family name, but you then withdrew this because your baby, in your view, didn’t “look” the name. Having a baby means it’s not all about you any longer - if this man is on your son’s Birth Certificate he has equal parental rights/responsibility. Can I ask why ‘Mason’ - it it a family name on your side? Is your baby’s Dad from a culture that names babies after the father’s side? Have you talked to him about why it’s so important to him that your son’s names confirm his paternity? Does the fact that you are not married make this more important to him and his wider family?
I don’t think being nicknamed “Junior” by his Dad’s side and called “Mason” by you will make any difference to your son - in fact as you aren’t in a relationship as parents (the fact that he isn’t contributing financially to your baby regardless of the sexual situation between you makes this clear) it may in fact help your son by confirming his place in his Dad’s life as you and baby’s dad aren’t going to last the course.
About his lack of financial support - does he have other children to support? And are you claiming all the benefits you’re entitled to if he is not supporting you both?

LivingTheDreamish · 26/04/2026 19:07

Well he's a controlling prick isn't he?

Agree you are dealing with a malignant narcissist here OP. The only acceptable name for baby was his own name, and when that didn't happen his default name is "junior" i.e. mini-me. He will be incapable of seeing Mason as a separate (albeit little!) deeply loved and valued person. Mason is a really good name and I'm so glad you picked it and insisted on your surname too. Just keep putting Mason first and being the lovely mum you clearly are.

Too bad about the baseball bat connection but he should have spoken up when he had the chance. It may not even be true.

yogpot · 26/04/2026 17:54

Mason is a lovely name. And of course he should have your surname too. You sound like a lovely mum. Bin the dad off. By the sounds of it once you do poor Mason won’t see much of him anyway, so you won’t have to worry about the name confusion at least.

muggart · 26/04/2026 17:48

mason is a nice name, youve done the right thing not caving to his silly demands.

i wouldn’t dwell on him using junior as a nickname. it’s common for parents to have special names for their kids. just make a point to say “come here mason” in front of other people so they know.

remind yourself that you have basically “won” when it comes to the name and his silly little rebellion makes no difference. Mason is his name.

rokama · 26/04/2026 17:21

CareBear12 · 26/04/2026 15:07

I went with the name Mason

Mason is a lovely name. I can understand why you're annoyed with your partner's refusal to use your child's name, but that's his choice. Just make sure nursery/school uses his actual name.

Also, kudos to you for giving your child your last name! I don't understand why it's still so common to only give the father's last name.

Shitmonger · 26/04/2026 17:08

I thought I remembered your username. You’ve been posting about what a piece of shit this guy is since you were around 5 weeks pregnant. Many people advised you to terminate and not tie yourself to him. You also used the phrase “he’s been trying to get me pregnant,” which users pointed out was a red flag for controlling behaviour. (And also it was planned.)

The answer is the same. Leave and parent alone. Prepare for him to continue to be horrible and controlling and learn strategies to deal with it because it’s not going to get better. You’ll probably need to plan and save for court fees because the likelihood that he’ll be amicable and reasonable about coparenting is slim.

StrandedStarfish · 26/04/2026 16:52

I think Mason is a lovely name

Specialagentblond · 26/04/2026 16:50

What does he call him then?

Agapornis · 26/04/2026 16:25

Plenty of people give their children fake names on socials to protect their privacy, so I wouldn't worry about that 'announcement'.
It sounds like he won't be in his baby's life the moment the novelty wears off, so it may not be a problem for much longer. Apply for child maintenance if he's not paid anything for 2 months.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 26/04/2026 16:22

Mason is a perfectly normal and lovely name.

(it also has the benefit of being a name few people will misspell and will be relatively easy for him to learn to spell and read when he gets older)

You don’t do anything really, anyone other than your partner, you correct them “actually his names Mason.” All registration needs to be under Mason. Daddy can has a nickname for him, everyone else, his school his family his friends, will call him Mason.

intrepidpanda · 26/04/2026 16:15

Poor kid being brought into this shitshow of a relationship

Delici · 26/04/2026 16:12

Refer to DS as Mason junior to piss the dad off 😂

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