Babydad hates our sons name and refuses to use it

I think it might have been a misunderstanding - and that OP meant 'my baby's dad', to avoid confusion with her partner's own dad; however, the term 'babydad' or 'babymum' is invariably used to refer to somebody you're no longer in a relationship with and have no feelings for, but with whom you share a child.

A small blessing. Leave this idiot!!

Your partner is a dickhead. Correct him every time he calls your baby 'Junior'. I don't think you should still be in a relationship with him as he sounds awful in other ways too.

Your partner sounds massively immature. Your son, is a small human, not a doll to be dressed up, just like Daddy and paraded around. The fact he wanted to name your child after himself (with Junior) added to the end, just confirms that he sees his son as an extension of himself, rather than an individual person, completely separate to him.

Your partner using the name Junior is the least of your worries to be honest. Your son's legal name is Mason, and that's the name he will need to be registered at school, with the GP etc. Each time he introduces his son as Junior, correct him 'His legal name is Mason, but X uses the nickname Junior'. If you're asked why your partner uses Junior, be honest... because he dislikes his name Mason. Don't cover for him!

Your relationship sounds dead in the water. You'd be better to split up., and try to co-parent amicably. You'll have zero say in how your son is introduced to people, or if people call him Mason or Junior, once you split anyway. Your partner wanted his son named after him, and because you called his bluff, when he said name him what you want, he's now punishing you. I don't think he possibly expected you to register your son as Mason, but give in to his demands at the last minute.

I love the name mason. At the end of the day you chose a nice name and that’s all that matters, not someone else’s ego! Your boyfriend is acting crazy! Who tells people they’re going to name their child after them before discussing it with the mother of the child?! My husband wanted to name our child these horrible names with the middle name after his mother (Joan). Yeah okay I’m not doing that because I actually like my child and want her to have a nice name! He is being ridiculous correcting people and calling him junior though. I don’t even know how you can stop him doing that?!

It sounds like you don't want to stay with this man anyway, so I suggest the sooner you put the wheels in motion to split up, the better. Call Women's Aid for help with the first steps.

He sounds awful OP. So stubborn and immature. I would give it a last ditch attempt to find a name you both agree on, as it’ll be so sad for your son to look back and know that his parents fought over and gave him different names from day 1.

Sit him down and try to get agreement from him that you both need to agree on a name and why that’s so important for your son. Set a rule that you’re both allowed to veto names and once vetoed you can’t keep bringing it up.

Regardless of the outcome I hope you leave him and limit his influence on your son as far as possible.

It does sound messy, but do you know what? In my culture is standard to call children especially boys by a nickname. So when we had our son everyone else called him by his name and I used / use a mix of sometimes the nick name I gave him and sometimes his legal name. Prob the difference is my nickname is a term of endearment for my son while your baby’s father is being tricky. BUT since junior is a common nickname, I would just leave this. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and unfort your baby’s dad found very immature so I am sure you have so much to deal with.

Blooming heck leave this man and get rid od the double barrelled surname and revert it to your name only. He is a manchild and will only get worse not better. He also has an interfering family which makes it worse.

Why didn’t you pick a name each? That way everyone had a name they like.

I’m sorry that what should be a special time for you is being ruined by this nonsense. I’m glad you gave your baby your surname, and the name you like. As time goes on, people will just use his name and your BF will have to get used to it - if he wants to use a nickname himself then that’s up to him.

My BF generally calls his son ‘Little Man’ rather than his actual name (which is beyond cringey and awful, but hopefully has an expiry date!)

Uh, this is the understatement of the century. This is a man with totally fucked up priorities.

@CareBear12 , would you ever have wasted all this brain power on this problem if he hadn’t forced you to, by being a selfish cunt?

Just break up. I don’t often say that, because people should work on relationships, but if he cares more about the baby’s name than the actual baby, the relationship is fucked. Because OF COURSE you’ll start to hate him for that. It’s natural.

And this is going to hurt so let’s just rip the bandage off quickly: IF he wasn’t a selfish cunt, he would have proposed and actually married you legally whilst you were pregnant (you can have the “wedding” at any point), so that you and your bub would have more protection in our society - right now, if you break up, you’re entitled to damn near nothing. A small pittance from CMS. The fact he wasn’t willing to risk his financial well-being on a woman and his own child says a lot. Is he even your legal next of kin? If he’s not, that means you still trust your parents more than you trust him, to take care of your baby and be there if you got hit by a bus 😔

Note: I’m only talking about right here, right now, in the UK. We know single mothers here struggle, and he’s setting you up to become a single mum. If you lived in Norway or somewhere where the government makes it financially “safe” to raise a child on your own without struggling, my answer would be wildly different and wouldn’t involve marriage at all.

Your child is not a pet, and your baby’s father acts like the baby is. It’s not a fucking puppy. The baby’s name will end up being one of the “least” of the things that make up who he is. As his mum, you already understand this baby’s potential. Shame his dad is too stupid to see it 🙄

Honestly @CareBear12 this. He is a bad ‘un.

Don’t focus on the name issue it is distracting you from the far bigger issues you are facing.

You and your child deserve better. He sounds awful.

OP, i hope you do not depend on this man financially.

Leave and change babies name to what you would like .
This man is a stubborn ignorant idiot . The less time he is around your son the better .

I assume you'll be splitting up soon, and he sounds like the type of father who's all about telling people how important his child is, but when it comes to it, doesn't actually step up. So I predict your son will be around you, your friends, your family 90% of the time. Meaning even if BD calls him a different name, the majority of the time he'll be hearing his actual name.

He’s a little human being, not a toy! He needs a parent, not a stylist. I’m glad you didn’t name your baby after him.

Just get your affairs in order and don’t waste any more time on this loser. I can tell you now this relationship is going nowhere. Just put your energy into getting out of this situation. If you are arguing like this at this point. It’s done.

So the name he kept repeating whenever you asked him was his own name @CareBear12 ? That is seriously odd.

Once your little boy starts nursery and school everyone will be calling him his actual name and he won't be confused.

Your partner should be grateful that you have him his surname at all, not throwing his toys out the pram because your name is in there. What a muppet.

I made a list of about 30 boy names when I was pregnant. Mason was on my list.

That much is painfully apparent.

Poor little bugger.

It is a mothers very basic duty to choose a good father for her child/children if she chooses to have them. At least doing the bare minimum by making sure he is committed first (preferably by marriage). It can still go wrong, but it is far less likely.

Because having an unreliable one can wreck their whole lives, and because no, 'love' is not enough.

Children need stability, two loving parents and a calm home focused on them, not drama or 'baby daddy's' (bleugh, what an awful term).

The first two are obviously out. But you could turn this around, make the best of this bad situation, and focus on the third part.

No more 'baby daddy's' until your child is 18 would give him the best chance.

Your son's name is a good name and your son is fortunate to have a mother who puts him first. This man you have had a child with is a complete waste of time and energy. Childish, bullying and self-absorbed. You aren't going to be with him longterm. It is more a question of how long are you going to put up with his shit until you get rid of him. After that, you and your son will have much more peaceful and balanced existence.

Click on the link in the post.

Thank god for that!!

Nothing wrong with Mason, better than calling him junior x

Yes, it’s a power thing and a way to control you. It’s also a complete disregard of you as a person who has their own views. Sorry, but it also very much suggests that he doesn’t care about you at all.

The best thing you can do is get away from this controlling prick. I have similar: ex bullied me at the registry office so DC has the names he chose including his surname. I bitterly, bitterly regret not standing up for the names I wanted, particularly my surname, but I was so bullied and shocked by his behaviour that I was hardly myself at all.

Telling people that the baby is called HisName Junior is absolutely something my prick of an ex would have done too if he hadn’t chosen a first name. Ex also buys DC mini versions of what he has and poor DC looks out of place with his friends.

i tell you all of this to let you know that things won’t get better. Plan your escape. It’s a pity you’re not breastfeeding because ex might insist on overnights. Hopefully he won’t but be prepared.

As for the name, depending on how old baby is, you could do a birth announcement card and send it to everyone. You’re right, it could confuse the baby as he grows, but don’t let it get to you. The registered name is baby’s legal name and the one you have to use for murseries, school, doctor, etc. People will hopefully see what a twat your ex is when he doesn’t use child’s actual name but makes him out to be HisName Junior and a Mini Him. People can spot the arrogance and ego in that.