Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Unflip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Is this stealing?!!

85 replies

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 16:49

Background- my BF has three boys. Very unlikely to have any more kids but I know she would love a girl. She has a lot of health issues and her husband doesn't want anyone so it's highly unlikely. She picked out a name which I love for her last child, in case it was a girl. Would it be mean if I used this for my daughter that is due in a few weeks? Is she entitled to own the name? Would she be justified in feeling pissed off?!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kmini · 23/09/2016 22:11

Just ask her. My bf had two before her last DS and always loved my DS' name. She tentatively broached it with me when pregnant with DC3 and DH and I said fine. She had a boy and if we ever end up back in the same city then we joke there will be Little Tom and Big Tom (they are tall & we are short) . Probably slightly easier as our DS name is pretty common.

EarthboundMisfit · 23/09/2016 22:04

No, don't do it. It's not stealing, but, given the circumstances you have described, it's pretty cruel.

BabooshkaKate · 23/09/2016 22:02

My aunt named my cousin the same name as me as we were born within months of each other no one saw it as a big deal, in fact it was specifically a compliment.

Use the name OP but make sure you love it for its own sake instead of liking it because someone else does.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/09/2016 21:59

Merryn is a lovely alternative.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/09/2016 21:58

Still, you've been best friends for 25 years. Speak to her, my guess is, she will be honoured for you to bring to life her chosen name, after all, she will be playing a special part in your daughters life. The asking her to be a Godmother suggestion, is a lovely idea.
Don't just shelve the name, share your thoughts with her 💐

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 19:41

There is an Irish name- Muireann. Spelling is a bit crazy and probably too close to Mirren to get away with...

OP posts:

hownottofuckup · 23/09/2016 19:36

I also think it would be better to be upfront and ask then choose a very similar name like Merryn.

Leopard12 · 23/09/2016 19:36

Just say I loved the name Mirren after you said it for your ds, would you mind if we used it or would you rather keep it as yours, we wouldn't want to upset you over it! Gage reaction then decide if she's not keen (even if she says go for it) don't use it!

PotatoBread · 23/09/2016 19:35

I think it would be very insensitive of you given the circumstances.

What about Merryn as others have suggested?

hownottofuckup · 23/09/2016 19:35

I think you should ask! Just say, I love the name but I don't want to use it if it would upset you your friendship means more to me then that so please be honest. Friends be honest with each other don't they? I'd much rather my friend asked then be afraid to.

Coconutty · 23/09/2016 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyNameWasAlreadyTaken · 23/09/2016 19:31

You could always ask her, along the lines of, it's such a beautiful name, would you mind if I were to call DD it in your honour?

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 19:30

No, I'm ruling it out- my mind was pretty much made up anyway. Just wanted to see the general reaction. I think if it were me, I couldn't care less. But her situation is different.

OP posts:

MythicalChicken · 23/09/2016 19:29

That would be a rotten thing to do. Can't believe you're considering it, tbh.

GingerbreadCake · 23/09/2016 19:27

It's even worse that you're considering this after she didn't even mean to disclose the name and her husband did by mistake.

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2016 19:25

It would be an arsehole thing to do.

And don't ask her. Because there is no possible answer but "no, of course that's absolutely fine". And it isn't.

GoNorthDarren · 23/09/2016 19:25

Don't do it! Sorry - I totally agree on the whole "nobody owns a name" thing, but there is no name on this earth which is perfect enough that I would want to hurt my best mate over it. This would hurt a "sensitive" woman who "longs for" a girl but is unlikely to have the chance to have one.

GingerbreadCake · 23/09/2016 19:21

You'd be a bit of a twat to use it to be honest. If she went so far as to have a text with the name prepared and you know about that it seems a deliberately malicious move. If you like her choose another to spare her feelings especially since she can't have another for health reasons. You must know you're being a teeny bit spiteful?

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 19:19

Yes but I know she longs for a girl and even though that ship has probably sailed, she still threatens to go again (after a few drinks!) She didn't mean to tell everyone the name- her husband sent the announcement of a girl text message instead of the boy 😂😂 There was a lot of confusion in the first few days and some people thought she had twins 😂😂

OP posts:

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 23/09/2016 19:16

Mm I have 8 sons and had girls names also picked - imagine if anyone I knew DARED to use one of MY names?!?!
Couldn't have given a fuck tbh!!

greenfolder · 23/09/2016 19:15

I had 3 dds. I had the same boys name, Rory, picked out for dds2 and 3..one of my friends told me after I had dd3 that they could use the name now. My view was that they could have in any event
Uld

Dogolphin · 23/09/2016 19:08

Merryn instead?

ifipop · 23/09/2016 19:05

If it was me I would be really really annoyed and upset especially if I longed for a girl but would never have one.
She should never have told you or anyone her chosen names anyway because it always results in situations like this.

Jojo13 · 23/09/2016 18:58

If I were in your friends position, especially knowing I'm not likely to have another child, I would probably be happy for my best friend to use it. I would feel a bit of an arse being pissed off about it in the circumstances. I'd be glad someone I love got to use the name.

Zippidydoodah · 23/09/2016 18:24

I just googled it- are you Scottish? Seems it might be more popular in Scotland than it is here in England? I suppose it is quite pretty, the more I look at it.

How about Lauren? Has a similar sound?

Unflip

1 2 3 4