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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Is this stealing?!!

85 replies

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 16:49

Background- my BF has three boys. Very unlikely to have any more kids but I know she would love a girl. She has a lot of health issues and her husband doesn't want anyone so it's highly unlikely. She picked out a name which I love for her last child, in case it was a girl. Would it be mean if I used this for my daughter that is due in a few weeks? Is she entitled to own the name? Would she be justified in feeling pissed off?!!!

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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 23/09/2016 16:51

Call your baby what you like and if she has another baby she can name her the same name. No one has dibs on names, they don't 'belong' to anyone.

neonrainbow · 23/09/2016 16:53

You'd be an absolute fucking prick to use it.

chinlo · 23/09/2016 16:53

Why don't you just ask her? She is your best friend, after all.

AGruffaloCrumble · 23/09/2016 16:53

Purely depends on if you want to keep her as a friend.

chinlo · 23/09/2016 16:53

You'd be an absolute fucking prick to use it

Jesus!

smartyclogs · 23/09/2016 16:55

Why don't you ask her and see what she says?
It may be just a fantasy name and she may not have any problems with you using it, or there again...

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 16:55

I wanted to see the reaction here before I approached her and upset her unnecessarily. My gut reaction is not to do it. However, it would be s childish thing to fall out over.

OP posts:

katiegg · 23/09/2016 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 16:57

She definitely wanted to use it- she had a definite boys name and a definite girls name before her c section. Had text messages prepared with same!

OP posts:

TheVirginQueen · 23/09/2016 16:58

I'd ask her if she would like to use the name on your baby, ask her to be God Mother. Tell her she inspired the name.

If she reacts well use it.
If she reacts badly don't.

BackforGood · 23/09/2016 16:58

Have I got this right, she's not even pregnant?
In which case, of course you should use it.

DoubleCarrick · 23/09/2016 16:59

My thinking is that it's unfair and unreasonable to put dibs on baby names. However my brother has told me what names his wife has picked even though they aren't ttc yet and I wouldn't pick there names as it's kinda a dick move once you know. It would be better to unknow if that is even possible.

wayway13 · 23/09/2016 16:59

Hmmmm. There are thousands of names for you to choose from. No, I would leave it. She doesn't own the name but it'd be bad form to use it imo.

OverAndAbove · 23/09/2016 17:00

She would love to have another (girl) baby, but can't, and you want to use the exact set of girl names she chose for your own baby?

That's very mean.

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 17:01

I guess this is the reason we been BF for 25 years- very similar tastes!!

OP posts:

chinlo · 23/09/2016 17:01

If you're worried that it might upset her, then just ask. Everybody is different (as shown by the responses on here already), so this thread won't really help you much in your specific situation.

Personally I wouldn't care, but I know some people are super sensitive over stuff like this so it does no harm to check, if you think she's like that.

AppleJac · 23/09/2016 17:02

I think its mean to use it

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 17:04

I think she is more the "sensitive type" rather than laid back on these kind of things which is probably why I'm bottling out of asking her. Tbh I'm probably not going to use it....

OP posts:

chinlo · 23/09/2016 17:04

She would love to have another (girl) baby, but can't, and you want to use the exact set of girl names she chose for your own baby?

That's very mean

Really? For God's sake. I'm trying to imagine picking a name I love but know I'm never going to use, and then demanding my friends and family don't use it. I just can't imagine it, I guess because I'm not such a drama queen.

Obsidian77 · 23/09/2016 17:05

Tell her you'd like to use the name a) because it's beautiful and b) to honour your friendship. If she isn't keen then of course you can go ahead but it might be salt in the wound to her. Congrats and hope all goes well with the birth.

Vixxfacee · 23/09/2016 17:09

I wouldn't.

mummarichardson · 23/09/2016 17:10

I personally wouldn't use it but maybe say 'I am really stuck in girls names, help' if she suggests the name then she would be fine with it if not then I really don't think I would use it xx

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 17:11

That's not a bad idea but I'm pretty sure she would never suggest that name (just in case!!!!!)

OP posts:

Zippidydoodah · 23/09/2016 17:14

Ah, I do think this would be a hurtful thing to do to her. Of all the names, in all the world.....

(what's the name?!)

Original poster

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 17:18

Mirren

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