Is this stealing?!!

I was gonna suggest Muireann, its close but spelt so differently? Also you could claim you got inspiration from the tv show Catastrophe 😄

This is why you never tell anyone the names you like. They cant steal them, you cant steal them, nobody can take the piss. Keep it to yourself until after baby is born.

I picked my SIL favorite girls name for my DD. Of course I didn't know that at the time so we never had to have any ridiculous anxiety and she will either give DD's cousin the same name, (as we use a nn most of the time anyway) or pick another one.

what? of course it's not stealing! How ridiculous. No one owns a name. I wouldn't care if I were the friend. If she ever does have a girl she can still use the name.

It is somewhat strange. Well, if you are stuck with girl names (are you, is there any other name you like?) then maybe you can outright say to her: we have been having a big debate and we cannot decide on a name - might as well use X. Then see how she reacts. What starts as a seeming joke may end up to be okay in the end.

Oh - I just read that you're not going to use it after all! Missed that!

I think it would be hurtful... There are other names to choose from!

I also have only boys and unlikely I'll ever get a girl (which actually makes me a little sad, but I don't want more kids and am very happy with my boys!!). I would be a bit cross if my best friend used my favourite girl's name. I know it doesn't "belong" to me, but it's also unusual and she would have directly copied it from me - as you have.

Definitely pick another name.

It's lovely though! And congratulations on your pregnancy

I would just ask her.
As the reactions from other posters have proven, some people think it's a dick move, others don't see the problem. The only way you'll know your friends camp is to ask her. You're friends, she 'lo more than likely appreciate that you've asked her

Why not ask your friend?

name her what you want.

Nobody owns a name but she'd be mortified if you did that. It's breaking the Friend Code. Even if she appeared cool with it you know that deep down she'd always harbour some resentment. It's not rational but it's true. I'd be devastated if it were me but I'd never admit it!

The Friend Code? That definitely depends on the person! I would honestly be happy for my friend to use the name if I knew I was never going to.

However, it would be s childish thing to fall out over

Easy to say when you'll be 'the winner'. I think you're right to rule it out - unless you discuss it with her and she suggests it of course!

I wonder if she'd mind if you didn't use it, given everything you've said. I'd sit her down as some pp,have said, and asked for inspirations for girls' names, and mention you'd love to use Mirren, but of course you can't just in case. She might love for you to use it, and help her put to bed lingering wants for a girl... You'll never know if you don't have that conversation.

I love the name Mirren, and if we were to have another it would def be on our short list.

Would mirren have even crossed your mind, if your best friend hadn't mentioned it?

Nobody owns a name but she'd be mortified if you did that. It's breaking the Friend Code. Even if she appeared cool with it you know that deep down she'd always harbour some resentment. It's not rational but it's true. I'd be devastated if it were me but I'd never admit it!

Have you not had any conversations with her about names for your baby?

I would just ask her for name suggestions - say you're stuck, and ask her for her favourite names. See if she puts Mirren on the list or not.

When I was pregnant (and already knew I was having a boy, and had chosen a name) a colleague gave birth about a month before me, and chose the same name. I simply said "that's a lovely name, in fact I've already chosen it for my DS". No problem. However, in your situation it may be a bit more awkward as your friend has a history of wanting a girl and having not conceived one, so she may be touchy. I'd probably either ask, or go with "we're wanting to call DD xyz, hope you don't mind."

Ironically, my closest female friend (met post birth, but we go on holiday together, go camping together) has a DS same age as mine, with the same name!

Wow some harsh responses on here. People don't 'own' names no matter the circumstances. If she's that good a friend surely you can talk about it, honestly?

Yeah: you can't use that name.

Do you think you might want it as you know you can't really use it? We're all a bit guilty of wanting something we can't have sometimes

Names are are really personal thing everywhere other than Mumsnet it seems!
Lots of people don't just choose from the top ten!
I've had my children's names picked since I was a teenager as have many of my friends! The names have meaning behind them, they are a part of me! For someone else to be so utterly lacking in imagination that they have to steal someone else's name is just alien to me! Is your child not special enough to be awarded their own name?
You say she wants more children but through no choice of her own will probably not be able to. She's probably grieving over that. So you want to steal the name she picked? That's just a special kind of nastiness.

I'd be so upset with you if you were my friend.

I wouldn't use it, but I really think some Mumsnetters have a very loose definition of the word "cruel"!!

Excactly, it is not 'stealing' and no, she is not 'entitled' to any name, but it would just be cruel and insensitive.

I wouldn't use it. She is your best friend and sad about not having a little girl. I think it would be insensitive to use the name she had wanted to use if she had had a girl. I wouldn't even ask her.

There are thousands of names and hopefully you can find another name you love. Good luck!