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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Is this stealing?!!

85 replies

Stilldreamingofsun · 23/09/2016 16:49

Background- my BF has three boys. Very unlikely to have any more kids but I know she would love a girl. She has a lot of health issues and her husband doesn't want anyone so it's highly unlikely. She picked out a name which I love for her last child, in case it was a girl. Would it be mean if I used this for my daughter that is due in a few weeks? Is she entitled to own the name? Would she be justified in feeling pissed off?!!!

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chinlo · 24/09/2016 21:52

Nobody owns a name but she'd be mortified if you did that. It's breaking the Friend Code. Even if she appeared cool with it you know that deep down she'd always harbour some resentment. It's not rational but it's true. I'd be devastated if it were me but I'd never admit it!

The Friend Code? That definitely depends on the person! I would honestly be happy for my friend to use the name if I knew I was never going to.

CalleighDoodle · 24/09/2016 22:00

name her what you want.

CalleighDoodle · 24/09/2016 22:00

Why not ask your friend?

Seekingmiracles · 26/09/2016 07:28

I would just ask her.
As the reactions from other posters have proven, some people think it's a dick move, others don't see the problem. The only way you'll know your friends camp is to ask her. You're friends, she 'lo more than likely appreciate that you've asked her

Nickname1980 · 26/09/2016 12:58

I think it would be hurtful... There are other names to choose from!

I also have only boys and unlikely I'll ever get a girl (which actually makes me a little sad, but I don't want more kids and am very happy with my boys!!). I would be a bit cross if my best friend used my favourite girl's name. I know it doesn't "belong" to me, but it's also unusual and she would have directly copied it from me - as you have.

Definitely pick another name.

It's lovely though! And congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers

Nickname1980 · 26/09/2016 12:58

Oh - I just read that you're not going to use it after all! Missed that! Blush

Dakota1 · 26/09/2016 14:29

It is somewhat strange. Well, if you are stuck with girl names (are you, is there any other name you like?) then maybe you can outright say to her: we have been having a big debate and we cannot decide on a name - might as well use X. Then see how she reacts. What starts as a seeming joke may end up to be okay in the end.

heron98 · 26/09/2016 14:48

what? of course it's not stealing! How ridiculous. No one owns a name. I wouldn't care if I were the friend. If she ever does have a girl she can still use the name.

Butterpuff · 26/09/2016 14:56

This is why you never tell anyone the names you like. They cant steal them, you cant steal them, nobody can take the piss. Keep it to yourself until after baby is born.

I picked my SIL favorite girls name for my DD. Of course I didn't know that at the time so we never had to have any ridiculous anxiety and she will either give DD's cousin the same name, (as we use a nn most of the time anyway) or pick another one.

Cloeycat · 26/09/2016 16:55

I was gonna suggest Muireann, its close but spelt so differently? Also you could claim you got inspiration from the tv show Catastrophe 😄

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