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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Name gone

39 replies

flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 15:49

OK, I am nearly 37wks pregnant, so please humour me my totally irrational little rant.

DH and I have finally, finally settled on a girl's name for DC2, it's been our first choice all along but he has dithered about how it goes with DD's name. Yesterday he finally said yes. I have been so relieved and so happy that this time I will get my first choice (he vetoed all my choices last time and I still feel I sort of settled on his choice for DD - it really suits her, but just isn't my favourite)

Except friends (admittedly not that close) who we share lots of mutual friends with and know both professionally and socially had a baby girl yesterday and have called their daughter this name.

It just doesn't seem fair to use it, if I was them I would be a bit miffed - if we have a DD they will probably grow up with the same mutual friends and being only four weeks apart in age is just too weird.

I want to cry, I have loved, loved, loved this name for so long.

I don't want to out the name so please don't ask me what it is.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:25

I love Flora too.

Stella is one we both like to a certain extent but I am less and less sure of. I always think of Marlon Brando crying out for Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire.

OP posts:
makinglemonade · 19/01/2012 16:23

Love Flora. Also like Eva and Emilia. The only name I'm not keen on is Stella but that's due to DHs Ex being a physco

flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:19

I was kind of prepared to still use it, but one of DH's criteria for choosing is that we don't know anyone with the same name. I know one girl, my age, with the name, but don't see her at all anymore so that wasn't a problem.

We also have very different taste and are different nationalities, and live abroad, so have pronounciation issues too (ie has to be easily pronounced by both sets of grandparents).

I really hope we're having a boy Grin

Among my suggestions (and I included the now-discarded first choice, sob, here just as a hint, but not telling you which one it is) are

(feel free to come up with others if you're bored!):

Flora
Emilia
Scarlett
Stella
Cordelia
Eva
Felicity

Any other suggestions welcome...
(and where we live/socially none of those names are in use or popular)

OP posts:
shouldnotbehere · 19/01/2012 16:09

We've had the same thing happen, except it is the ONLY girls name we have BOTH liked. DH and I have very different taste in names.

If they were just good friends it wouldn't bother me, but it's our best friends. We had not discussed names with them.

I would still use it, if it had been good friends who'd picked the same name. I think the connection would all be forgotten about very quickly.

OptiMumPrime · 19/01/2012 16:07

Well don't announce the name for six weeks! Is ten weeks a better gap?
Is it a way-out name, or top 100?

Methe · 19/01/2012 16:04

What was the name?

flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:03

Thanks - no names were never discussed between us. They're not close friends but people we see socially and professionally A LOT. Neither of those factors are going to change.

I think if there wasn't a difference of four weeks then I wouldn't mind. It's just all over twitter/FB and I think it will be weird if in four weeks the same people are re-tweeting/commenting on a birth announcement with exactly the same name.

We're not going to use it. DH thinks it's just a sign that we shouldn't. Sigh.

OP posts:
Lonnie · 19/01/2012 15:57

Use it if you love it .. You will regret it if not. Is it possible to spell it slightly different? (like if she is Isabelle spell yours Isobel?)

Lancelottie · 19/01/2012 15:57

Look, it really, really doesn't matter if it's the same. Friends of ours, living next door to each other, both called their child Charlotte. My friend Diane has a cousin Diane. And my grandmother's family all appear to have been called either Margaret or Bill.

Methe · 19/01/2012 15:54

If you love it, use it!

4madboys · 19/01/2012 15:54

oh i would use it, when i has preg with ds3 we were going to call him Arlo, two weeks before my ds3 was born a friend had a boy and called him...Arlo!! aghhh anyway upshot was we didnt use it then, BUT as your kids get older things change, jobs change, people move, kids have different circles of friends and within a yr i never even saw the woman again!! so i am a bit miffed that we didnt just use the name! we did use it as ds4's middle name tho!

makinglemonade · 19/01/2012 15:53

They don't own the name , you can still use it. Can you tell us the name and we can maybe come up with a variation for you

SimoneD · 19/01/2012 15:52

Is it something unusual, or a name thats quite common and alot of children their age are likely to have. If its the latter I would prob go ahead with using the name. Have you thought about asking your friend how she'd feel about you using the name given that you had it in mind for your dd all along (unless of course you told her the name and she copied you!)

OptiMumPrime · 19/01/2012 15:51

Oh I'd do it. You love it, they don't own it, go for it. They may move, you may move, fall out, who knows!