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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Name gone

39 replies

flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 15:49

OK, I am nearly 37wks pregnant, so please humour me my totally irrational little rant.

DH and I have finally, finally settled on a girl's name for DC2, it's been our first choice all along but he has dithered about how it goes with DD's name. Yesterday he finally said yes. I have been so relieved and so happy that this time I will get my first choice (he vetoed all my choices last time and I still feel I sort of settled on his choice for DD - it really suits her, but just isn't my favourite)

Except friends (admittedly not that close) who we share lots of mutual friends with and know both professionally and socially had a baby girl yesterday and have called their daughter this name.

It just doesn't seem fair to use it, if I was them I would be a bit miffed - if we have a DD they will probably grow up with the same mutual friends and being only four weeks apart in age is just too weird.

I want to cry, I have loved, loved, loved this name for so long.

I don't want to out the name so please don't ask me what it is.

OP posts:
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OptiMumPrime · 19/01/2012 15:51

Oh I'd do it. You love it, they don't own it, go for it. They may move, you may move, fall out, who knows!

SimoneD · 19/01/2012 15:52

Is it something unusual, or a name thats quite common and alot of children their age are likely to have. If its the latter I would prob go ahead with using the name. Have you thought about asking your friend how she'd feel about you using the name given that you had it in mind for your dd all along (unless of course you told her the name and she copied you!)

makinglemonade · 19/01/2012 15:53

They don't own the name , you can still use it. Can you tell us the name and we can maybe come up with a variation for you

4madboys · 19/01/2012 15:54

oh i would use it, when i has preg with ds3 we were going to call him Arlo, two weeks before my ds3 was born a friend had a boy and called him...Arlo!! aghhh anyway upshot was we didnt use it then, BUT as your kids get older things change, jobs change, people move, kids have different circles of friends and within a yr i never even saw the woman again!! so i am a bit miffed that we didnt just use the name! we did use it as ds4's middle name tho!

Methe · 19/01/2012 15:54

If you love it, use it!

Lancelottie · 19/01/2012 15:57

Look, it really, really doesn't matter if it's the same. Friends of ours, living next door to each other, both called their child Charlotte. My friend Diane has a cousin Diane. And my grandmother's family all appear to have been called either Margaret or Bill.

Lonnie · 19/01/2012 15:57

Use it if you love it .. You will regret it if not. Is it possible to spell it slightly different? (like if she is Isabelle spell yours Isobel?)

Original poster
flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:03

Thanks - no names were never discussed between us. They're not close friends but people we see socially and professionally A LOT. Neither of those factors are going to change.

I think if there wasn't a difference of four weeks then I wouldn't mind. It's just all over twitter/FB and I think it will be weird if in four weeks the same people are re-tweeting/commenting on a birth announcement with exactly the same name.

We're not going to use it. DH thinks it's just a sign that we shouldn't. Sigh.

OP posts:
Methe · 19/01/2012 16:04

What was the name?

OptiMumPrime · 19/01/2012 16:07

Well don't announce the name for six weeks! Is ten weeks a better gap?
Is it a way-out name, or top 100?

shouldnotbehere · 19/01/2012 16:09

We've had the same thing happen, except it is the ONLY girls name we have BOTH liked. DH and I have very different taste in names.

If they were just good friends it wouldn't bother me, but it's our best friends. We had not discussed names with them.

I would still use it, if it had been good friends who'd picked the same name. I think the connection would all be forgotten about very quickly.

Original poster
flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:19

I was kind of prepared to still use it, but one of DH's criteria for choosing is that we don't know anyone with the same name. I know one girl, my age, with the name, but don't see her at all anymore so that wasn't a problem.

We also have very different taste and are different nationalities, and live abroad, so have pronounciation issues too (ie has to be easily pronounced by both sets of grandparents).

I really hope we're having a boy Grin

Among my suggestions (and I included the now-discarded first choice, sob, here just as a hint, but not telling you which one it is) are

(feel free to come up with others if you're bored!):

Flora
Emilia
Scarlett
Stella
Cordelia
Eva
Felicity

Any other suggestions welcome...
(and where we live/socially none of those names are in use or popular)

OP posts:
makinglemonade · 19/01/2012 16:23

Love Flora. Also like Eva and Emilia. The only name I'm not keen on is Stella but that's due to DHs Ex being a physco

Original poster
flyingcloud · 19/01/2012 16:25

I love Flora too.

Stella is one we both like to a certain extent but I am less and less sure of. I always think of Marlon Brando crying out for Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire.

OP posts:
SoFarWeAreEqual · 19/01/2012 16:26

Love Flora and Eva. Felicity is also pretty.

Not keen on Emilia (really really popular at the moment); Scarlett and Cordelia not so nice.

Not sure about Stella but how about Bella?

Methe · 19/01/2012 16:27

Love Stella, my dd was very almost a Stella.

Bart1maeus · 19/01/2012 16:29

Use it. Tell friends its a family name or something. Laugh about coincidences then forget it.

They're fairly standard names (even if not in the top 10) so its not like re-using a made-up name iyswim.

Some ideas for slightly changing the name (no idea which it is)
Flora --> Fleur
Emilia --> Emma/Emily/Amelie/Amelia....
Scarlett --> no idea sorry! but Charlotte rhymes Grin
Stella --> Estelle
Eva --> Evalyn

oltob · 19/01/2012 16:31

All pretty names, my faves are Flora and Emilia.

Elsa, Isla, Iona and Anna all kind of fit with your choices too and shouldn't have any pronunciation issues

blackteaplease · 19/01/2012 16:33

Do it, one of the girls from my nct group named her dd with my dd's name a month before dd was born (does that make sense?).

I ummed and ahhed about changing the name and didn't, she is now a very good friend and the girls spend a lot of time together. It doesn't matter that they have the same name at all.

telsa · 19/01/2012 16:34

maybe you could find a similar name, for example

Flora - Florence
Emilia - Emily, Amelia, Emma
Scarlett - Carlotta, Charlotte
Stella - Estelle, Esther, Estrella, Sadella
Cordelia - Cornelia, Corrina, Ophelia, Coraline, Delia, Kordula
Eva - Ava, Evie, Evelyn, Eve, Evangeline
Felicity - Felicia, Felicitas

TeamEdward · 19/01/2012 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackteaplease · 19/01/2012 16:34

Ha, I have an Isla and I have lost count of the amount of times people have read it written down and said is-la. I am glad DH talked me out of Eilidh which was my original choice.

OptiMumPrime · 19/01/2012 16:34

Flora - Fleur, Dora, Florence, Flavia, Nora,
Emilia - Amelie, Amy, Emma, Esme, Amelia, Mila, Celia, Delia, Cecelia
Scarlett - Charlotte, Ruby, Carla, Carly
Stella - Bella, Stephanie, Estella, Estelle
Cordelia - Corinne, Delia, Della, Cecelia, Celia
Eva - Evaneline, Eve, Genevieve, Evelyn, Emma,
Felicity - Melissa, Alegra, Felicia, Phillippa.

Popbiscuit · 19/01/2012 16:37

Oh my Goodness. OP; you must choose the name you love. There is nothing wrong with two little girls having the same name and quite honestly, we're not still friends with any of the couples we knew when our first baby was born. Lives change.

That said, if another couple has chosen a name you love it may be a sign that it's about to fall into the "overused" category so be careful. Flora is beautiful, but a good alternative might be Florence? or Nora? I really like Felicity and Cordelia too.

Stella and Eva / Ava and Amelia / Emilia are reaaaalllly popular where I live. Every third child is called Ava. Ava = the new Madison ... don't do it.

Popbiscuit · 19/01/2012 16:38

Oops. X-post with about 12 people Grin