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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Toby or Tom ?

27 replies

olefina · 06/01/2012 13:55

The title says it really. We have a single syllable surname, would baptise DS Thomas but probably use Tom most of the time. Toby was our boys name with DD, who is two syllables ending in -ie and I still really like as well.
I can't decide, so opinions please.

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Hassled · 06/01/2012 13:56

Tom.

Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2012 13:56

Toby. Only because there's a load of Toms round here.

BigusBumus · 06/01/2012 14:19

I prefer Toby (not Tobias though). He would be the only one in the class and there would be at least one other Tom I'm sure.

Christmasford · 06/01/2012 14:19

Toby

Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2012 14:21

There were three Toms in DC1's class. One had to be Tom, one Thomas and the other TJ (his name and surname initials). I know one of the mums wasn't happy.

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 14:24

I love Toby (wouldn't use Tobias) but worry a little that it's not as good a fit with DD's name. She's two syllables ending in -ie with a Toby. Although with a Tom it does make me think of the canal boat dolls rosie & jim.
I think I might be overthinking this.

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Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 14:26

good point sparkling

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2012 14:28

olefina you aren't overthinking it you want it to be right. I only know one Toby. Must add DS1 is now Yr8 so don't know what the 'Tom situation is currently.

funnypeculiar · 06/01/2012 14:30

I have a Thomas (he's actually shortened to Thom which of course is totally different ) but I really like Toby too - it's certainly a very 'safe' way to be a bit different without being too wacky, iykwim.

Fwiw, my son has always been the only Thomas in his class (through 2 nurseries & 2 schools) - I know it always comes up as popular, but I don't actually know loads of them...

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 14:48

From the 2010 top boys names in England & Wales:

Thomas #6 with 5307 boys (non-mover from 2009, down 4 places since 2000)
Toby #54 with 1330 boys (up 3 places since 2009 and 21 since 2000)

can't think what the Radio 1 chart jingle is but it's buzzing around the back of my brain as I type.

funny have already thought of the Thom spelling 'to be different' and a little but Radiohead - love it.

OP posts:

poppydaisy · 06/01/2012 14:49

Both Tom and Toby are very widely used round here and he may well have to share his name with others in his class. Not the end of the world, but I find both very 'now'.

BigusBumus · 06/01/2012 14:52

What is your DDs name?

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 15:02

Sylvie

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BigusBumus · 06/01/2012 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViolaCrayola · 06/01/2012 15:23

Both great. Probably prefer Toby.

Acanthus · 06/01/2012 15:24

Sylvie and Tom is better. Which is better with your surname?

weblette · 06/01/2012 15:31

Ds3 is the only Toby in his school year and we only know two others round, both much older

PuraVida · 06/01/2012 15:36

Tom and Toby both 'very now'

Most of my peers are one or the other and we're all mid 30s

Which goes to show both are lovely timeless names

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 15:37

bigusbumus (loving your name btw) my thoughts exactly, I think Tom sounds better with DD but prefer Toby. Alone Toby probably sounds marginally better with our surname, it's single syllable, so rolls slightly better.

but the additional complication is if we don't use Thomas as the first name it'll be a middle name (was DH's grandad) and then DS will have three first names rather than two (I want him to have my Dad's name too).

DD only has two first names, the same as me, and as a child, with two older brothers, who both had three first names I always felt a little hard done by.
I'd quite like to abolish the 3 names for boys and 2 for girls sexism for my family so am basically going round in circles.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2012 15:37

I never considered DS1's name when naming DS2.

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 15:40

sparkling are you still sure I'm not overthinking it then

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Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2012 15:48

Good point olefina. It's only since I have been on MN that i realised I should have. But it's still ok now 10 years on.

MelodyPondering · 06/01/2012 15:55

Tom!! Definitely tom. It's a classic and suits any age. Love it.

Original poster

olefina · 06/01/2012 16:43

names that go together is so hard to define, most of the time it rolls due to the familiarity/proximity anyway, ie. it just takes a bit of getting used to, which all names do, so the matching DD is secondary in a way to whether to continue the unfair 3 names for a boy rule.

Btw love tayte and miles bigus, with our surname we already have to be v careful of what we pair with it, hadn't even thought of things like that.

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funnypeculiar · 07/01/2012 09:22

Humm, agree Tom & Sylie is nicer somehow. (And yes, ds was slightly Radiohead inspired - he's starting to drop the h spontaneously himself now though). Ours also gets called Tomsk & Thompson - I slightly wish we'd had the nerve to call him Tomsk, which I love!

Humm 2/3 names thing is tough - it was the same in my family (boys had 3, girls had 2) and I have ensured both my two have the same number of names as it niggled me as a child, so totally get where you're coming from there.

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